CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:28 pm**

OMG Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a Couple?

Posted: **Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:23 pm**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:35 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:08 am**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:54 am**

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cause Lavelle doesn't replace a quiz anymore so it needed to contemplate life.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:56 am**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:57 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:46 am**

What do you do with dead chemists?

Barium

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:42 am**

A boy asked his mom to make him a Pb and J sandwich. However, after eating the sandwich, he complained that he felt quite heavy.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:02 am**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:11 pm**

Did you hear about the time Oxygen went on a date with Potassium? It went OK.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:20 pm**

Awh gosh darnit! I lost an electron...you real have to keep an ion them!!

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:25 pm**

Why doesn't Neon have any friends?
It has difficulty forming bonds.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:42 pm**

I like chemistry jokes periodically.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 2:36 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one MOLAR solution.

Why did the liquid smell good? Because it didn't pass gas.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 4:35 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:17 pm**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:18 pm**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:37 pm**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:39 pm**

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:50 pm**

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:12 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:56 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers!

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:18 pm**

three kneeslappers in one wowowowow

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:23 pm**

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:36 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:46 pm**

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:57 pm**

Q: What is laughing gas made of?

A: He He He

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:06 pm**

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material!

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:28 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:43 pm**

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:16 pm**

A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the periodic table of elements. She said, "When I was your age, I knew both the names and atomic weights." One kid piped up, "Yeah, but teacher, there were so few of them back then."

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:43 pm**

The transfer of heat

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:13 am**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:14 am**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:15 am**

What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid!

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:16 am**

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:44 am**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:56 am**

Q: What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?

A: its CoRn Y

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:53 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:49 pm**

: 0368dbf2ce14a8dd902cc793596369c2.jpg (5.16 KiB) Viewed 10710 times

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:18 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:26 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:55 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:28 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:44 pm**

H₂O is water and H₂O₂ is hydrogen peroxide. What is H₂O₄?

Drinking!

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:12 pm**

I lost an electron, in fact i am positive

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:35 pm**

Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:59 pm**

A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the period table of elements. She said "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teacher, there were so few of them back then."

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:27 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:52 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:03 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:21 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 5:50 pm**

If a king farts, is it considered a noble gas?

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:00 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar lol

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:48 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:59 pm**

.

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 9:14 pm**

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:04 pm**

~Do you know any jokes about sodium?
~Na.....

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:51 pm**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:03 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:28 am**

I wish I was benzene because that's the only way I could be stable.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:32 am**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:07 am**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:54 am**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:12 pm**

I think I left the bromine and boron in the cabinet.
BrB.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:18 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:31 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude...
A mean o' acid

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:42 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon...

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:44 pm**

What is H204?

Drinking, cleaning your dishes, taking a shower, etc.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:40 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:05 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:12 pm**

Why did the noble gas cry?
.
.
.
Because all his friends argon.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:00 pm**

I'm a fan of Futurama, especially of their science jokes!

This one isn't as complex as their other jokes as its a simple wordplay but I still thought it was funny.

Pauli Exclusion Principle + St. Pauli Girl Beer = St. Pauli Exclusion Principle Girl Beer

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:03 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?

Because it's made up of alkynes of people!

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:06 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:13 pm**

Chem Test
cheh test
CHeh yest
Helh yes
.
.
.
No

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:25 pm**

If youre not part of the solution you're part of the precipitate

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 4:20 pm**

Weekend Thoughts

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 4:24 pm**

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:11 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:49 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:02 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
Its a polar bear! Polar bears are white bears. Polar compounds dissolve in water because water is a polar molecule (like dissolves like), while nonpolar compounds do not.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:02 pm**

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:14 pm**

Q: What do you do with a dead chemists?

A: Barium

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:09 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:43 pm**

I love this Chemistry Cat so much

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:18 pm**

Q: Why is Potassium a racist element?
A: Because when you put three of them together, you get KKK.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:27 pm**

: chem joke.jpg (27.76 KiB) Viewed 10680 times

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:35 pm**

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:50 pm**

An atom says, "I think I lost an electron." His friend asks, "Are you sure?" and the atom replies, "I'm positive."

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:20 pm**

NaCl NaOH
RED ALERT! THE BASE IS UNDER A SALT!!

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:26 pm**

Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:06 am**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear!

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:26 am**

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:25 am**

Q. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

A. They bonded well from the minute they met.

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:41 am**

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?

A: H20

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:19 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:30 pm**

A Chemistry Lab is like a big party. Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:45 pm**

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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