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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:59 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
My name is Bond...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:42 pm
by Celine_Ngo_3L
ec174fa7ea76602246d05e863cff0f73.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:19 pm
by Sarai_Ferrer_3C
When studying for my chemistry midterm, this happens...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 3:55 pm
by Madison_Moore_1I
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:15 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
+-

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:27 pm
by Samya Konda 2I
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "A U, get out of here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:28 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
HAHA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:28 pm
by Diana_Visco_1l
SHORT BUT SWEET...

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:37 pm
by Julia_Wenzel_1E
How many atoms are there in guacamole?

Avocado's Number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:38 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:08 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
“Oh”! The element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:13 pm
by Andy Chen 3L
freddie mercury.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:24 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:29 pm
by Sophie_Ahmad_2F
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:31 pm
by TramHo2G
What's a cation afraid of?

A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:39 pm
by Ashley Van Belle 2B
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:30 pm
by Kristen_Power_1C
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:36 pm
by Annie Tagvoryan 3A
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.

This actually took me a second.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:06 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
All of the chemistry jokes Argon... maybe I should Zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:09 pm
by Yamilex Velgara 2I
How I feel about midterms and finals

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:13 pm
by 604746385
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer?
The bartender says "For you, no charge"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:48 pm
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
IMG_3797.PNG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:06 pm
by RitaChang_2C
I have many chemistry jokes.

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:18 pm
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
Someone threw some sodium chloride at me

It was a salt. :):

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:20 pm
by Cerjay_Lugtu_3B
"Do you want any Sodium, Bromine, or Oxygen?"

"NaBrO"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:23 pm
by Niveda_Tennety_1H
Someone studying atoms is really just a bunch of atoms trying to understand themselves.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:33 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:35 pm
by ben maryamian
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:48 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Is the glass half full or half empty?
Optimist: half full
Pessimist: half empty
Chemist: always full, half liquid half gas ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:09 am
by isabelle ruedisueli 1j
What did iron say to gold when he stole his watch?
A-u! bring that back!
:))

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:11 am
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:24 am
by Sandy_Kim_1K
Haha, these jokes are Sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:42 am
by rielapopp3O
What element startles chemists?

The element of surprise!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:03 am
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Q:
What is the chemical formula for Banana?
A:
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:04 am
by alvitaxiao
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:23 am
by Wesley_Rugen_1E
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To get buffer.

Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed. "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."

How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
It's got no spark!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:39 am
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:44 am
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:13 am
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:39 am
by Jessica De Anda 2C
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:07 am
by Annie_Amundson_1L
Q: What do you get when you mix polonium, titanium, oxygen, and nitrogen ?

A: A PoTiON

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:44 am
by Raj Susarla 3I
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:07 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:34 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 12:47 pm
by Kirsten Bermudo 1O
Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 1:53 pm
by Nikki Nguyen 2N
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:03 pm
by Tina_Keshishian_2F
What's a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:06 pm
by Luigivar 2F
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Electrochemistry Joke :)

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:19 pm
by Desiree Martin 2A
tumblr_m3kf6uVffK1qde7nao1_1280.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:23 pm
by PriscillaMariscal_3F
In order to do well on this midterm, I have to start thinking like a proton.
Always positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:39 pm
by sboutros2B
Entropy just isn't what it used to be ):

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:39 pm
by Thomas Morgan 1B
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:56 pm
by Morgan_McMasters_3A
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 2:59 pm
by Jeana Wei 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:00 pm
by Kristine_Espinosa_2L
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:07 pm
by Eli Pazol 2F
if i could actually get into a lab

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:09 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:14 pm
by Madison Juul 1D
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all i see is U and I!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:26 pm
by Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N
Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 3:48 pm
by 304779711
Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:01 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
Next time you want a lady to swoon say "bby you're full of berillium gold and titanium" Be Au Ti Full.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:03 pm
by Isaiah Sandoval 1D
Only true scientists understand the following joke :)
On Valentine's Day a man got his wife elements. She was puzzled when she first saw them, only to think that it was out of his league to pull a stunt like this for her on this day. What elements were they you may ask? She saw them in the following order: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Oxygen, Lanthanum, and Tellerium.
(Hint: If you don't get it, look at their element/atomic symbol.)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:24 pm
by JulieLy_3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:47 pm
by Vivian Wang 3J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:59 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Jokes that go well together:

Q: Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
A: It went OK!

Q: How did Oxygen's second date with Potassium go?
A: It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 5:11 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
[img]
zvqo4c7yzk.jpg
[/img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:04 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:15 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:16 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: How often do you like Chemistry jokes?

A: Periodically ;D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:23 pm
by KylaTenido1G
Alkali metals are NSFW (not safe for water)

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:26 pm
by ckim_1I
I already have a bad romance with chem

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:27 pm
by ckim_1I
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:29 pm
by ckim_1I
anotha one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:30 pm
by ckim_1I
Basically me

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:34 pm
by ckim_1I
i always slap my neon these cat jokes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:39 pm
by Jagmeet_Arora_1G
This joke :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:39 pm
by anatorres1B
cats and science are my life

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:58 pm
by Kelly Ortega 1K
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:13 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
What do you call a scientific plant?
A chemis-tree!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:16 pm
by John Ly 2I
trueeee

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:27 pm
by JessenyaReyes_1B
here is a joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:50 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:15 pm
by Ana_Andrade_1A
Ion-estly can't think of one good joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:21 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

We hope your year is very phosphorous.

:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:24 pm
by MaddyMoore3A

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:37 pm
by Sharlene Reyes 2N
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:40 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
Valentine's Day is coming up...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:42 pm
by Helen 3C
What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:51 pm
by Emily_Bloom_1I
i have so many chemistry jokes


I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction


*laughter

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:53 pm
by Trisha Kurup 2A
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:56 pm
by Melanie Martinez 1K
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:00 pm
by Ace 3F
Let's take all these bad Chemistry jokes........ and Barium! :P

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:06 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
Q: Why don't they galvanize ships to prevent corrosion?
A: That would make them zinc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:10 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:11 pm
by Anthony Cannizzaro 3J
What do you do with a sick chemist?

Well if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:16 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:22 pm
by Keitty_Calderon_1C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:23 pm
by Ryan Petrecca 1L
XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:24 pm
by Abishek 3K
2553975_orig.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:32 pm
by Krista Yang 1C
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.