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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:34 pm
by Julianne Seog 3K
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:42 pm
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
joke30bb55eb63ca4c02a34a41b0ea768cdd.jpeg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:53 pm
by Ian Brown 1K
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:58 pm
by Brian_Mena_1J
For those that will be taking the chemistry lab next quarter

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:59 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
Since Valentine's Day is coming up...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:01 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
One time, I worked in an electrochemistry lab. My advisor told me that I had great potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:02 pm
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
What kind of fish is only made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:03 pm
by Austin Gee 2N
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:07 pm
by Jenny2G
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:11 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY IS DIFFICULT; THOSE WHO STUDY IT HAVE AlKYNES OF TROUBLE (so I've heard at least)

...ACID WHAT YOU DID THERE

HAHA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:19 pm
by Harmeet_Kaur_2D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up... they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:21 pm
by Josh_Zhong_1F
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:22 pm
by Madeline Fox 2B
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:30 pm
by Grace Pu 3E
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:35 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:37 pm
by ryan_chowdhury_2E
Horrible Pick Up Line:
"Hey girl, has anyone ever said you are Copper-Tellurium?"
(CuTe)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:39 pm
by Yesenia Munoz 1G
I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:40 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
What don't you understand about copper? It makes perfect CENTS!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:46 pm
by Aaron_Trell_2J
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:50 pm
by Chris Yeh 3D
I was gonna tell you a chemistry joke...but all my good ones are Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:52 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
How I feel when doing the homework.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:15 pm
by Terry1A
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:18 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
I feel like the older models of phones lack the potential to do well on today's market. After all, their battery life is barely a fraction of their newer counterparts'.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:28 pm
by Kimberly_Hernandez_3L
Lab Closed, Gone Fission

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:31 pm
by TiengTum2D
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:33 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
What is Santa's favorite element? Holmium holmium holmium!!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:41 pm
by Camille_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:46 pm
by harseerat_jajj_3G
another great joke!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:49 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:49 pm
by Maverick Tan 1F
You Must Be Made Of Uranium And Iodine


Because all I can see is U and I

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:50 pm
by Tyler_Honrada_1L
chemistry joke 2.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:51 pm
by Vivian Tan 3F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:52 pm
by ahlam_ahmed_1d
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:58 pm
by saminah_adam
Mercedes Benz

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:59 pm
by Asha_Isse_1N
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:07 am
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:27 am
by Ethan_Wilson_1E
I forgot to make my chemistry community post before midnight, but maybe if my joke is pure gold, the TAs will be Ausome and give me credit anyways

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:50 am
by 204639491
The one thing Skrillex learned in chemistry was how to drop the base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:12 am
by julia lai 3A
Q: Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?
A: Because she is a Female.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:30 am
by Rachel Caprini 1E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:31 am
by Rachel Caprini 1E
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:31 am
by Rachel Caprini 1E
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:42 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:17 am
by helen_bui_2G
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:40 am
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:40 am
by Ting Zheng 3L
What do hungry chemists eat?

Gram (Graham) crackers!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:42 am
by Gonzalez_Liliana_1K
A bear from Montana and a bear from Alaska fall into the water at the same time. Which dissolves faster?

The one from Alaska- he's a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:50 am
by Gonzalez_Liliana_1K
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner, "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:04 am
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
Light travels faster than sound.... That's why some people appear bright until they speak

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:01 am
by Amy_Dixon_1I
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:10 am
by kgiesch1N
What is a cation afraid of? A dog-ion!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:12 am
by kgiesch1N
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:24 pm
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:19 pm
by Kevin Le 1L
I need 2... moles.. one for plug and one for the load

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:32 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
(b/c Argon is a noble gas looooool)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:42 pm
by paulapedrani
With Valentine's Day coming up...

Are you made of uranium and iodine? Because all I can see is U and I!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:51 pm
by Neha Nibber 3H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:55 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:02 pm
by Ashley T 2H
Q:What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:08 pm
by Katrina_Galian 1J
You are a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to a higher energy level.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:47 pm
by Lindsey Lill
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:29 pm
by maria_tamondong_1L
You must be made with a beryllium and barium compounds because you are such a BaBe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:32 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:39 pm
by Cindy Ngo 1E
Did you know that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:48 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:53 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…


He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:17 pm
by Teresa_Duarte_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here by Adam Perez Discussion 1L

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:29 pm
by Adam Perez
f1e163728888043e764a27e321796525.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:49 pm
by Kiana_Shibata_2G
Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:50 pm
by regina_ho_3A
A galvanic cell says to another galvanic call: "We're meant to be because our relationship is electric."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:03 pm
by alliedavis
tumblr_m3kf6uVffK1qde7nao1_1280.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:11 pm
by StephZou_2G
What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:47 pm
by Melissa Van Pell 2I
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:27 pm
by ChristinaN1L
Once I told a chemistry joke,
there was no reaction...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:47 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
Oxygen and Potassium?

They're OK. Nothing special.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:00 pm
by Alice Jung 1C
What is a chemist's favorite noodle soup?

PhosphorousHydrogenOxygen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:17 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:35 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:54 pm
by yubin moon 3c
forget hydrogen, you're my number one element!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:52 pm
by Calvin Huang 3D
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:48 pm
by Jonathan_Hu_2C
Chem Joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:49 pm
by Emily_Bennett_3C
What did one titration tell another? Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:36 am
by Libbyfidel_1E
A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said, "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teach, there were so few of them back then.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:09 am
by Michelle Lin 3M
Someone asked if I knew any Sodium Hypobromite jokes. I just told them Na BrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:53 am
by Sahil Sharma 2J
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium ions?

2 NA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:10 am
by Selina_Han_3I
Chemistry. More like cheMYSTERY because sometimes I have no idea what's going on.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:56 am
by Evan Gentry 2E
Two men walk into a restaurant and order drinks. The first man says "I'll have an H2O please." The second man says "I'll have an H2O too."
The second man died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:18 am
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
I thought this was fitting
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:35 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
Happy Valentine's Day!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:53 pm
by Nathan_Summers_2B
Q: What do you do with a dead scientist?
A: Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:39 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
Chemistry student: Great news, teacher says we have an chemistry midterm today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that?
Chemistry student: It's snowing outside!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:13 pm
by Raymond_Guan_1H
Why did the bear dissolve in the water?

Because he was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:15 pm
by Chris Liddicoat
In honor of Valentines day:

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:43 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
"Oh my gosh! I've lost my neutron"
"It's okay, you can get a new one free of charge"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:59 pm
by F Rios 3E
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:08 pm
by Valeria Quintana 1G
In honor of Valentine's Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:15 pm
by marinarosebrock
You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.
Happy Valentines Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:44 pm
by Jessica_Chang_1G
What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO? Water.

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:56 pm
by Vista_Farkhondeh_3O
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 7:49 pm
by Raymond_Guan_1H
Why do chemist like nitrates so much? Because it's cheaper than day rates.