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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:58 am
by Brianna
In honor of a very successful quarter of chemistry jokes from my peers in 14B I would just like to say that personally, I tell bad chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 12:55 pm
by bgarcia2B
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I'm tired)


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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:58 pm
by Daniel23
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?




















He's 0K now.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:59 pm
by Daniel23
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze. LOL!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:59 pm
by Daniel23
What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A chemistree hahahahahhaha

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:01 pm
by Daniel23
How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:04 pm
by Daniel23
Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?

Because she was too attractive!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:05 pm
by Dan 4k
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For all us breaking bad fans...

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:09 pm
by Dan 4k
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Why is this trans? (OH is up, CH3 is down)

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:11 pm
by Karina Keus 3L
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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 5:41 pm
by Steph S 2F
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 7:31 pm
by Ulysis Baal 4J
Made me chuckle

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 7:40 pm
by Ulysis Baal 4J
I didn't drink water today while studying for finals. I was afraid it would've diluted my concentration

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 7:48 pm
by Ulysis Baal 4J
I just wanna wish everyone good luck with their finals!!!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 7:50 pm
by Ulysis Baal 4J
Hahahahaha

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:37 pm
by 404483361
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 10:19 pm
by jbcarton
-Why isn't energy made of atoms? It doesn't matter
-Lose an electron? You should really keep a better ion them next time
-What does an anatomist give you when he's mad? A scowl-pal

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 10:54 pm
by katielee1K
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 11:27 pm
by Susanna
Take all your lame chemistry jokes and....barium.


I'm sorry, I make bad chemistry puns...periodically.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 11:38 pm
by Erin Natale 3I
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?


Because it is made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 11:52 pm
by Erin Natale 3I
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:51 pm
by 904418641
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 2:23 pm
by Henry2E
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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 10:58 pm
by Nga Mai 1F
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:09 pm
by Nga Mai 1F
Do You want you hear a potassium joke?
“Sure”.
“K”

Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:49 pm
by Katherine Delgadillo 2H
:-)

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:59 pm
by Katherine Delgadillo 2H
Pre-med life

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 12:10 am
by Nga Mai 1F
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.

How ionic.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:46 am
by Douglas Dean
I thought this was funny! :D

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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:56 pm
by 104890318
Making all the bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:30 pm
by Julia_Morales_1E
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Can I help you with your luggage? It replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 4:41 pm
by Stefani Qonsul
pick up line:

Are you made of Copper? Because I Cu in my dreams :)

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 4:58 pm
by O Wang 1E
What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:27 pm
by Jessica Preciado 1E
When life gives you C6H8O7, make C6H8O7 + H2O + C12H22O11.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:52 pm
by Brittany Kelley 1F
Two atoms are walking down the street.

Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure??"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 6:03 pm
by EmilyLeibovitch2E
Q: What does a photon say when he checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

A: He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 12:51 pm
by Helen 3C
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2016 9:39 pm
by Delacey Rodriguez 1D
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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:57 pm
by HannahLewis
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 10:53 pm
by EmilyLeibovitch2E
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:55 pm
by Leslie Gonzalez 1F
Did you hear the rumor that Sodium was dating Chloride?
Na, I would take that rumor with a grain of salt.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:55 pm
by Delacey Rodriguez 1D
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
LOLLLLLLLL CHEM IS FUNNYYYY

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2016 4:34 pm
by Caterina K 1E
Would you happen to have any Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:46 pm
by Julia_Morales_1E
A covalent bond yells at an ionic bond, "Didn't anybody ever teach you to share?"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2016 11:24 pm
by HannahLewis
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 1:18 am
by Leslie Gonzalez 1F
A neutrino walks through a bar.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 10:20 pm
by Delacey Rodriguez 1D
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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 1:44 pm
by Caterina K 1E
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:23 pm
by Julia_Morales_1E
So this dude's like, "Where are you going with all that element 83?"
and I was like...
None of your bismuth

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:10 am
by Gabriela_2E
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:55 am
by Helen 3C
How often do I make jokes about chemistry?

Periodically.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:18 pm
by Julia_Morales_1E
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Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:37 pm
by Julia_Morales_1E
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 4:11 pm
by Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K
: )

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 11:13 pm
by Gabriela_2E
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:09 pm
by Gabriela_2E
A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under a sustained enemy attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ.
"NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!" he says.
"NaCl over NaOH?" shouts his officer. "What do you mean?"
"The base is under a salt!" The chemist replied.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 10:29 pm
by Chem_Mod
Excellent Gabriela!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 2:37 pm
by Chem_Mod
I guess you can say this forum tells chemistry jokes periodically...

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:58 am
by Chem_Mod
Yes, but the periodic table does have exceptions! :-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 10:18 pm
by Chem_Mod
Are you made of copper and tellurium?? Because you're pretty CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 10:20 pm
by Chem_Mod
Let's head on down to the cemetery and get our Krypton.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:10 am
by Zara_Joshi_3L
A joke

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:20 am
by Andreea Voro 3A
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:11 pm
by Lisbeth Hernandez3L
"Don't trust atoms"
Why?
"They make up everything!"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:58 pm
by Julianne Seog 3K
What did elements from Group 7A say to Jennifer?
Halogen

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:59 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
dont trust atoms, they make up everything hahaha

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 1:44 pm
by david_li3H
Don't ever think you don't matter

...because everything is matter

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 2:25 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 4:54 pm
by Chem_Mod
Stop it with the puns. We've all sulfured enough!

Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 5:33 pm
by Julia_Gordon_2A
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 6:01 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book on helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:13 pm
by Emily_Bloom_1I
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:12 pm
by Kathrin Magdalani 3J
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:20 pm
by rielapopp3O
Not a joke but...

I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 11:48 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Cation
cat●i●on
An ion with a paws-itive charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 11:54 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:01 am
by Julianne Seog 3K
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:48 pm
by Jimmy Zhou 3D
Girl are you made of Copper and Tellerium? Because you sure are CuTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 1:32 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
What is the scariest element on the periodic table?

Ah, the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 1:36 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
This is more of a pun but here goes,

If you're ever feeling down always remember,
if you have mass and take up space,
then you matter :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 2:21 pm
by Chem_Mod
Try to come up with jokes that haven't been shared already

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:48 pm
by celina33
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?





A: You Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 3:49 pm
by Amber_Carlton_3D
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?


A: It went OK...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 4:14 pm
by Shadi_Keyvani_1D
What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 6:26 pm
by Ryan Clydesdale
Albert Ghiorso, Glenn T. Seaborg, John R. Walton and Torbjørn Sikkeland wanted a reward for discovering element 102.
Everyone just said No.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 7:57 pm
by sophianguyen_1N
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Answer: Because they have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 8:10 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
This is quite punny, but I'm sure you will enjoy it

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 8:48 pm
by Preet_Bains_1D
What did the Samsung engineers learn about right before making the Galaxy Note 7?

Spontaneous Combustion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 9:03 pm
by Paul Ndawula 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 9:51 pm
by Eliza_Beglari_2L
I dont trust atoms, I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 9:59 pm
by alvitaxiao
What do you do when a chemist dies?
You barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:18 pm
by Camille_Rousculp_3A
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 10:57 pm
by Rachel Ma
There is no not-trying in Chemistry. Why?

Chem-is-try!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:17 pm
by Thomas_Elizabeth_3A
A proton and a neutron walk into a bar and the neutron asks the bartender how much for a drink & he replies "For you, no charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2016 11:17 pm
by Kareem
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite... he said NaBro.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:02 am
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Ever wonder why chemists all love working with ammonia???

Because it is all basic stuff...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:04 am
by Sonam Sidhu 2J
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 12:08 am
by JudyPham_4J
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 8:38 am
by Jane Sin 3A
I'm apologizing ahead of time for all the bad jokes I will make because all the good ones argon..

But I think like a proton so I tend be very positive about it..

I believe when it comes to chemistry puns I'm in my element.

(ha ha ha)
Image

^And this is cute

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:22 am
by Harmony R 3A
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe