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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:33 am
by Philline_Tumbaga_1F
Since it's love month, here's a pickup line you could use. lol

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:46 am
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 11:13 am
by Paola_RubioRod_1F
Two electrons are sitting in a jail cell.
One asks, "What are you in for?"
The other replies, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:34 pm
by rielapopp3O
Don't ever get a chemist angry. They'll overreact!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:37 pm
by 804780590
This page needs to

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:46 pm
by sheilaho_1E
Here is a historical note: In the 1980's, in an effort to increase public awareness about the importance of chemistry, the American Chemical Society posted billboards with a picture of C6H10 and the title, "It takes alkynes to make a world."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:53 pm
by Lindsey Lill
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:55 pm
by Lyndon_Bui_3J
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:22 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined.
"I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:33 pm
by StevenBieneman_3K
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking, swimming, showering, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:57 pm
by 004599434
Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:48 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
I thought this one was pretty good.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:53 pm
by Katelyn Li 2J
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:03 pm
by DhirajR_3F
How often do I tell Chemistry jokes?




Periodically!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:20 pm
by KoSiOg
I told a chemistry joke...

There was no reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:28 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:42 pm
by Vagarshak 2C
awesome-tumblr-1001_o_4508515.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:05 pm
by Morgan_McMasters_3A
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:34 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Chem

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:34 pm
by ryan_chowdhury_2E
Have you heard Enthalpy's new mixtape "Constant Pressure"? They say it's pure heat.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 7:00 pm
by christy_zambrano_2E
too cute!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 8:44 pm
by Franklin Kong 3D
A student is very late to his chemistry lab class, arriving when there are only 5 minutes left. Realizing he won't have time to complete the lab, which involves looking at a sample of water under a microscope and recording observations, the student scribbles in his notebook "I saw twice as many H's as I did O's."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:35 pm
by 604805638
DJ Enzyme!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:12 pm
by Jenny_Thompson_3I
"Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?"

"Helium walks into a bar,
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react."

"The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:29 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:35 pm
by Anmol Dhaliwal 2C
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:46 pm
by Bola_G_3H
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:46 pm
by Yamilex Velgara 2I
Since Valentine's Day just passed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 11:03 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
I'm not ready to learn organic chemistry yet.
I'm sure I'll run into alkynes of problems.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 11:29 pm
by F Rios 3E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 11:55 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:31 am
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:50 am
by Milan Hirpara 3K
Q: Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. How do you think it went?
A: OK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:58 am
by Chin_Alyssa_3I
I want to post a joke, but all the good ones Ar (Argon)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:58 am
by JulieLy_3C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:03 am
by Alice Gonzalez 2F
A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:36 am
by Cowasjee_Sanaea_3E
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:45 am
by Hung_Sabrina_3N
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:46 am
by Hung_Sabrina_3N
Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:16 am
by Shailyn_Moore_3C
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:02 am
by Xinyi_Yan_3L
IMG_1909.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:13 am
by Jessica_Zeng_3G
Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:14 am
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”
Helium doesn’t react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:17 am
by Lexy Swenson 1F
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic stuff.

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met

A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:47 am
by Diana_Anum1G
Friend: Hey, what show does cesium and iodine love watching together?
Me: I don't know, CSI?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:51 am
by Krista Yang 1C
Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
A: It's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:34 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
Even though we aren't on this unit anymore, who doesn't love a star wars reference here and there?!

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:37 pm
by Jessica De Anda 2C
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:54 pm
by Brandon_Williams_3E
Electrochemistry joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 1:16 pm
by KarinaOropeza_2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 1:20 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
That feeling when you know chemistry jokes but they're all boron.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:05 pm
by Jagmeet_Arora_1G
Goals:
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:02 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:05 pm
by April Z 1K
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:50 pm
by Deanna_Nguyen_3L
Q: What does a chemist bring as a dessert while camping?
A: A ‘gram’ cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:14 pm
by Avery_E
Q:How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?
A: A sulphone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:20 pm
by katherine_r
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was "I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:21 pm
by Harmeet_Kaur_2D
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:23 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
If I were a dj I'd name myself DJ Enzyme because I'm always breaking it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:28 pm
by Shushanna S 3F
Friend texts me: Hey do you think we can hang out?

Me: NOBr, I'm busy.

*starts laughing at own joke*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:30 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under a sustained enemy attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ.
"NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!" he says.
"NaCl over NaOH?" shouts his officer. "What do you mean?"
"The base is under a salt!" The chemist replied.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:42 pm
by danny_nguyen_3C
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:02 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Chemistry Joke :)

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:14 pm
by Desiree Martin 2A
nz069.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:26 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:28 pm
by Cerjay_Lugtu_3B
"What do you do to a dead scientist?"

'You Barium."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:34 pm
by Samya Konda 2I
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:35 pm
by ckim_1I
Questionable?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:57 pm
by Novelpreet_Boparai1N
I would never poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:02 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:30 pm
by Arianna_Mandelli_3C
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Fe-breeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:42 pm
by Abishek 3K
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:53 pm
by HimadreeR
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:08 pm
by Teja_Kadali_3A
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:09 pm
by Kareem
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:10 pm
by Thomas Morgan 1B
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:14 pm
by Thomas_Elizabeth_3A
If a King farts is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:45 pm
by Omeed_Partovi_1L
Who took a bigger L:
USC or me on the Chem midterm??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:46 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
Omeed_Partovi_1L wrote:Who took a bigger L:
USC or me on the Chem midterm??


You silly!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:49 pm
by Tina_Keshishian_2F
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

-They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:51 pm
by lisabang2L
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:54 pm
by Timothy Yu 2M
"Did you hear about Oxygen and Magnesium dating?"
"I've heard this before, it's OMg!"
"No, hasn't Lavelle taught you anything?! It's MgO"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:59 pm
by Ethan_Kato_1D
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They are cost less than day rates!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:03 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What is a cation afraid of?

A dog ion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:04 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:07 pm
by Amanda Salgado 3D
Are all my jokes too basic for you? Why is there no reaction?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:08 pm
by Julianne_Zingmond_1E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:15 pm
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
I don't have any good chemistry jokes to tell. All the best jokes Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:16 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
What is a minion's favorite element sequence? Barium, Sodium, Sodium!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:18 pm
by Kimberly_Hernandez_3L
Why are so many chemist alcoholics? Because alcohol is a solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:33 pm
by kgiesch1N
you must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:45 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Why did Carbon and Helium get married?
They bonded well from the moment they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:47 pm
by Yeon Hee Park 3M
i can't say its a joke but had to buy this at Trader Joe's

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:52 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
People in Trump's administration are like atoms...

because they make up everything!

*Not my original joke*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:55 pm
by Wesley_Rugen_1E
Since we are studying kinetics:

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was "I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:01 pm
by ChristinaRoble3J
This isn't really a joke, but a chemistry pickup line

Do you have 11 protons?
Bc you're sodium fine

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:02 pm
by Jennifer Ngo 1M
did you know the sun doesn't have to go to college cause it already has 28 million degrees :-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:02 pm
by Gabriela_2E
do-you-have-any-sodium-hypobromite.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:26 pm
by Quynh Nguyen 2H
Q: why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it is basic material.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:26 pm
by Spencer Peterman 3E
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