CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:34 pm**

How are oxidation-reduction reactions different than a clothing store?...

At the clothing store, when the price is reduced, it doesn't gain anything.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:47 pm**

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:50 pm**

I'm the pessimist

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:51 pm**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:53 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:56 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:57 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:58 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:00 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:01 pm**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:03 pm**

A little late Valentine's Day post

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:05 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.....

He replies "No I'm traveling light"

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:14 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:15 pm**

"Want to hear a joke about potassium?"

"K."

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:18 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?

Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:20 pm**

take all your lame chem jokes and barium!

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:25 pm**

q: why did the bear dissolve in water?
a: because it was a polar bear!

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:26 pm**

Jokes..jokes everywhere

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:36 pm**

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:42 pm**

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:43 pm**

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:45 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:51 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:56 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be alloys.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:57 pm**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:44 am**

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:49 am**

Week 6 post

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:49 am**

Week 7 Post

lol

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:39 am**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:36 am**

Chemistree
https://sciencenotes.org/wp-content/upl ... s-tree.png

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:59 am**

what did one ion say to the other ion?
A: I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:00 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:08 pm**

Why does a hamburger have a lower energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:11 pm**

Why did the electrode go to jail?

He was charged with a salt and battery.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:20 pm**

How do you make a 24 molar solution? Put your artificial teeth in water.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:52 pm**

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:02 pm**

How does a gas laugh?

He He He

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:02 pm**

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:04 pm**

Chemistry pick-up lines:
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:11 pm**

Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:13 pm**

The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.

Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:18 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:26 pm**

Enjoy the joke

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:45 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:57 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:00 pm**

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:03 pm**

Taveling Photon Joke!

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:09 pm**

Q: Why can't you trust an enthalpy pirate?
A: Because he'll steal all your joules matey

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:13 pm**

You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I!

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:24 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:55 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:01 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:03 pm**

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:14 pm**

CASH ME WITH THESE CHEMISTRY JOKES!

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:20 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:22 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:33 pm**

Q:Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?

A:Because Polar compounds dissolved in water.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:34 pm**

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

A: Fe breeze.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:37 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:52 pm**

Q: What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A: A polar bear.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:08 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:13 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:24 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:28 pm**

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6022-1023.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:31 pm**

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It’s in the ground state

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:49 pm**

cation
cat-i-on
pronunciation: kat-ahy-uh n
noun

1. an ion with a paws-itive charge

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:50 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:03 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:25 pm**

I gave all my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:29 pm**

: chem joke.jpg (17.17 KiB) Viewed 19694 times

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:30 pm**

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:31 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:42 pm**

Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:10 pm**

Why does a hamburger have a lower energy state than a steak?

It is in the ground state.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:10 pm**

Chemists are bad at telling jokes...

They lack the element of surprise.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:27 pm**

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:53 pm**

Know any good jokes about sodium?

Na

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:16 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:48 pm**

H2O is water and H2O4 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:56 pm**

spreading some positivity

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:57 pm**

what do you do when a chemist dies? you barium

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:11 pm**

Let's get married and live a life like monosaccharides... sweet and simple:)

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:13 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:17 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:23 pm**

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:55 pm**

Q: What is the chemical symbol for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:21 pm**

How many atoms in a guacamole?
Avocado's number.

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:59 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:48 am**

Q: Do you have any sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:56 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:57 am**

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:08 am**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates!

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:08 am**

What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI !

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:30 am**

What was NaCl arrested for?

A salt.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 7:52 am**

Why do Potassium and rate constant make such a relaxed couple?

They're both K with everything.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:02 am**

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:08 am**

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:14 am**

~What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
~OH SNaP!

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:14 am**

~What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
~Fe-breeze

Posted: **Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:44 am**

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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