Page 32 of 76

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:34 pm
by Geovanni_Suarez_3A
How are oxidation-reduction reactions different than a clothing store?...

At the clothing store, when the price is reduced, it doesn't gain anything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:47 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:50 pm
by Rhea Kundan_2G
I'm the pessimist

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:51 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:53 pm
by Melanie_Wong_1K
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:56 pm
by 904621096
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:57 pm
by 904621096
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:58 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:00 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:01 pm
by Ian Brown 1K
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:03 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
A little late Valentine's Day post
Image

Photonic Joke

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:05 pm
by Ace 3F
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.....

He replies "No I'm traveling light"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:14 pm
by lilyjustine_1G
Pusheen.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:15 pm
by Cerjay_Lugtu_3B
"Want to hear a joke about potassium?"

"K."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:18 pm
by ChiragThadaniDis2M
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?

Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:20 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
take all your lame chem jokes and barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:25 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
q: why did the bear dissolve in water?
a: because it was a polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:26 pm
by Brian_Mena_1J
Jokes..jokes everywhere

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:36 pm
by Gonzalez_Liliana_1K
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:42 pm
by GabrielaGutierrez2A
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:43 pm
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:45 pm
by Taravat_Lakzian_1C
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:51 pm
by genesis_escobar_2M
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:56 pm
by Chris Yeh 3D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:57 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:44 am
by Evan Gentry 2E
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:49 am
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
Week 6 post

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:49 am
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
Week 7 Post

lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:39 am
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:36 am
by Franklin Kong 3D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:59 am
by Tania_Torres_3O
what did one ion say to the other ion?
A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:00 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:08 pm
by 504829531
Why does a hamburger have a lower energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:11 pm
by Meera McAdam 1C
Why did the electrode go to jail?

He was charged with a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:20 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
How do you make a 24 molar solution? Put your artificial teeth in water.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:52 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:02 pm
by Julia_Wenzel_1E
How does a gas laugh?

He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:02 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:04 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
Chemistry pick-up lines:
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:11 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:13 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.

Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:18 pm
by Neha Nibber 3H
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:26 pm
by Jasmine_Bagnas_1D
Enjoy the joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:45 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:57 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:00 pm
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:03 pm
by Jonathan_Hu_2C
Taveling Photon Joke!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:09 pm
by Ryan Doyle 3E
Q: Why can't you trust an enthalpy pirate?
A: Because he'll steal all your joules matey

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:13 pm
by Katie_Ho_1M
You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:24 pm
by Gus_Guinto_2F
ChemMeme2.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:55 pm
by Grace 3G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:01 pm
by Chris Liddicoat
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:03 pm
by Ann Zhang_1M
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:14 pm
by GevickSafarians_14B
CASH ME WITH THESE CHEMISTRY JOKES!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:20 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:22 pm
by Terry1A
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:33 pm
by Hyun Young Lee 2H
Q:Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?

A:Because Polar compounds dissolved in water.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:34 pm
by Hyun Young Lee 2H
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

A: Fe breeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:37 pm
by Hyun Young Lee 2H
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:52 pm
by StephZou_2G
Q: What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A: A polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:08 pm
by Karishma_Patel3E
A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:13 pm
by Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:24 pm
by Jeana Wei 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:28 pm
by Krishil_Gandhi_1D
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6022-1023.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:31 pm
by ben maryamian
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It’s in the ground state

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:49 pm
by Hannah Liu 2A
cation
cat-i-on
pronunciation: kat-ahy-uh n
noun

1. an ion with a paws-itive charge

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:50 pm
by Helen 3C
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:03 pm
by AndyL3I
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:25 pm
by ChristinaN1L
I gave all my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:29 pm
by Melody Li 2L
chem joke.jpg
chem joke.jpg (17.17 KiB) Viewed 6803 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:30 pm
by ChristinaN1L
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:31 pm
by Teresa_Duarte_3K
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:42 pm
by RitaChang_2C
Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:10 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
Why does a hamburger have a lower energy state than a steak?

It is in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:10 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
Chemists are bad at telling jokes...

They lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:27 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:53 pm
by Lindsey Lill
Know any good jokes about sodium?

Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:16 pm
by sas_budge_1l
watt.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:48 pm
by a_jeny2E
H2O is water and H2O4 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:56 pm
by em_farag
Image

spreading some positivity

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:57 pm
by Jared Gao 3G
what do you do when a chemist dies? you barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:11 pm
by maria_tamondong_1L
Let's get married and live a life like monosaccharides... sweet and simple:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:13 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:17 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:23 pm
by kgiesch1N
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:55 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
Q: What is the chemical symbol for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:21 pm
by Rachel_Bressler_3I
How many atoms in a guacamole?
Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:59 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:48 am
by Sylvia_Cai_3D
Q: Do you have any sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:56 am
by Annie Zhang_ 3C
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 1:57 am
by Alexa_Kwang_1D
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:08 am
by Katelyn_Nakamura_1B
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:08 am
by Katelyn_Nakamura_1B
What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI !

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:30 am
by Iris Feng 2I
What was NaCl arrested for?

A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 7:52 am
by Joshua Song 2M
Why do Potassium and rate constant make such a relaxed couple?

They're both K with everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:02 am
by Cindy Ngo 1E
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:08 am
by 304779711
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:14 am
by 304779711
~What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
~OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:14 am
by 304779711
~What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
~Fe-breeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:44 am
by TiengTum2D
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."