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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:26 pm
by katherine_r
It's that time of year when the bank account starts getting low...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:30 pm
by Avery_E
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:34 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
A small furry animal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 1023. We can't serve a mole."

Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:47 pm
by E_Villavicencio 2N
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:57 pm
by 604746385
I would tell a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:59 pm
by GregoryPolyakov_1H
Why is Ochem so difficult?

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:04 pm
by StephZou_2G
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:10 pm
by StephZou_2G
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:21 pm
by gingy 1K
Hmmm...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:27 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
Organic Chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:33 pm
by kane_jajieh_3F
Bob: Hey Chris have you heard about this new band called endothermic reaction?
Chris: Ya I've been a fan of them since before they were cool

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:43 pm
by Sylvia_Cai_3D
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:01 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
what kind of dogs to chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:08 pm
by RitaChang_2C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:22 pm
by 104733309
Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Cause you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:23 pm
by 104733309
Do you have 11 protons? cause you're sodium fine

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:31 pm
by Arianna_Mandelli_3C
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:42 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all I can see is U and I!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:44 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:45 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:49 pm
by Jasleen Kaur 1J
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and i was like "OMg"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:50 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:55 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:02 pm
by sboutros2B
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:03 pm
by Cowasjee_Sanaea_3E
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:19 pm
by Rodri_Karla_1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:34 pm
by Drishti_Jain_1D
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?



A: First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if that fails, then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:36 pm
by Jazmin_Morales_3J
I cringed so hard but here it is

If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H20 cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:39 pm
by JoAnna Yortiss 2G
c42295e30197ad6412e5ce02187c0cfd.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:42 pm
by DhirajR_3F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:44 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
Proof.
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:44 pm
by Jessica Chern 1H
Prostitute Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:10 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:13 pm
by Teja_Kadali_3A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:25 pm
by wesley hardin
Want to Hear a joke about sodium?

Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:27 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:29 pm
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
what in tarnation titration

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:36 pm
by Melissa Ledesma 2B
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:37 pm
by Grace Pu 3E
What's the formula for water?

HIJKLMNO!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:45 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:47 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:49 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:51 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:52 pm
by Alexandria_Leaf_2F
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:52 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:54 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:55 pm
by Aneet_2A_
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:56 pm
by Raj Susarla 3I
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:56 pm
by Aneet_2A_
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:00 pm
by Aneet_2A_
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:04 pm
by Aneet_2A_
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:04 pm
by Aneet_2A_
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:06 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:11 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
baf5d918cbf300633308ff2f9853ee41.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:24 pm
by alliedavis
1a53db97ab7205d66ba5d3ccfe4d62c5.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:25 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why are you lazy? >:(

A: I'm not lazy. I'm just full of potential energy :D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:26 pm
by Parsia Vazirnia 2L
What in tarnation!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:27 pm
by Deanna_Nguyen_3L
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

Q: When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly. What was his reply?

A: “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:30 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
From the ground, anti-aircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory. As the plane flew away, the pilot smiled, with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. “Congratulations, you’ve just neutralized a dangerous base!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:32 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why did the chemist help the kid who was being bullied?

A: He didn’t want to watch the kid sulfur.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:33 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:35 pm
by Rhea Kundan_2G
I love puns

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:36 pm
by Mindy Zhang 3F
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other:
“Are you alright?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:40 pm
by Samya Konda 2I
Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.

How many atoms in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:48 pm
by Gabriela_2E
4f18403ecb824ac89ec3e952919413cb.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:51 pm
by Esteban Espinoza
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:52 pm
by David Sung 2H
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:02 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
Electrophile: I came out to have a good time but I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:06 pm
by Timothy Yu 2M
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
Well...

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:12 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:26 pm
by Arshia_Sabir_3E
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:33 pm
by Geovanni_Suarez_3A
reduce lol.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:34 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:39 pm
by Helen 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:44 pm
by SarahTian3k
i miss you when you argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:47 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:52 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
So hydroiodic acid walks into a bar right,..., "HI!!!" it screams

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:55 pm
by BetcyGaspar_3C

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:01 pm
by Austin Gee 2N
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:12 pm
by Ethan_Wilson_1E
You must be made of uranium and iodide, because all I can see is U and I ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:16 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:25 pm
by Delour Haj 3J
Chemistry is like cooking- just don't lick the spoon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:31 pm
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Hey! Oxygen is in a relationship with Magnesium!... OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:37 pm
by Raul Garcia 3I
A little narrative:
Helium walks into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve Noble Gases here"
....helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:45 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022 x 10^23 pieces?

Guacamole.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:51 pm
by Morgan Zapasnik 1N
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:54 pm
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
What element is a girl's best friend? Carbon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:11 pm
by Huongly Do 3D
Organic chemistry is so difficult.........

People who study it have alkanes of trouble!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:13 pm
by Jackyboy 1C
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:14 pm
by ChristinaRoble3J

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:16 pm
by Felicia Zhang 2J
H2O is the formula for water. What is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:19 pm
by Eljie_2F
IMG_4322.JPG

What in sublimation?!?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:23 pm
by Sunny Chera 1N
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:25 pm
by Sunny Chera 1N
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:30 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
Head's up everyone.
Screen Shot 2017-02-26 at 10.37.47 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:32 pm
by Ana_Andrade_1A
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:32 pm
by Jagmeet_Arora_1G
Great joke or bad joke??
Q:What do dipoles say in passing?
A:Have you got a moment?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:32 pm
by lilyjustine_1G
Wot in activation

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:34 pm
by ERIKTORRESDisc3C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:38 pm
by Ian Brown 1K
What's a pirate's favorite element?

Arrrgon