CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:40 pm**

When you know Chemistry Jokes

But they all Boron

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:41 pm**

: 1.jpg (11.14 KiB) Viewed 18383 times

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:46 pm**

What do chemists put up during Christmas?
-A Chemistree

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:53 pm**

... :)

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:05 pm**

Dont worry, I have plenty of chemistry jokes for yall...I'm just afraid they wont have a good reaction.

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:10 pm**

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:10 pm**

If you've got mole problems, call Avogadro. (602)-(214)-0857

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:12 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:13 pm**

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones ARGON!!!

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:13 pm**

what do you call an acid with an attitude?

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:15 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:21 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:26 pm**

:D second attempt at posting a photo

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:29 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:29 pm**

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:42 pm**

If you've got mole problems, call Avogadro. (602)-(214)-0857!

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:43 pm**

One good chemistry meme

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:44 pm**

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:48 pm**

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends argon. Sad life

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:49 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:50 pm**

Since organics is coming up

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:51 pm**

Oh, no someone dropped water on the floor...

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:52 pm**

credit to Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes Cartoonist :)

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:54 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k???

Ahh!! Spilled water all over this laptop! Yikes

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:56 pm**

Why do you go to jail for throwing Sodium Chloride at someone?

Because it's a salt. *ba-dum-tsss*

Posted: **Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:59 pm**

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step."

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:16 am**

What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:41 am**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:53 am**

My friend threw sodium chloride at me... that's a salt!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:59 am**

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:11 am**

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:12 am**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:52 am**

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:00 am**

Ferrous Wheel.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:31 am**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:09 am**

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:14 am**

Q: What do you get when you complete science class?
A: A graduated cylinder.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:58 am**

Same.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:01 am**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:26 am**

Did you hear oxygen and potassium went on a date? It was OK

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:51 am**

Q: What is a O-chem student's favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:04 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:06 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:10 pm**

A TA threw a sodium chloride at me!
That's aSalt!

hehe.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:23 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:30 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:43 pm**

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:06 pm**

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:22 pm**

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:22 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:34 pm**

Stupid electrons--I'm sick of your negativity :(

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:58 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:09 pm**

Sulfur + Tungsten + Silver --> SWAG

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:25 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:32 pm**

What is a monkey's favorite molecule?
BaNa2!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:36 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:37 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:37 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym
A: To become a buffer solution!!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:49 pm**

Q: How can you spot a chemist in the restroom?
A: They wash their hands before they go.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:15 pm**

When someone says love is in the air on Valentine's Day, you know what to say...

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:26 pm**

Chemistry is really funny; there are even people who laugh at nitrogen(I) oxide (nitrous oxide).

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 5:43 pm**

What types of reactions do they sell at Whole Foods?
Organic ones hahahahahahhahahahaha

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:43 pm**

Brrrrrrromine!
What? Bromine?
Yeah, it's cold! Brrrrrrr.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:25 pm**

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
Ask them to pronounce "unionised"

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:28 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:31 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:35 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:46 pm**

You can never trust an atom, they make up everything.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:47 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:01 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:03 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:21 pm**

What's the difference between a politician and a chemist?

Have them both say "unionized"

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:27 pm**

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me
That's a salt!

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:09 pm**

Remembering the first four alkanes by learning Monkeys Eat Peanut Butter...

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:58 pm**

Posted: **Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:58 pm**

: imgres.png (4.19 KiB) Viewed 18346 times

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:12 am**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
-A salt.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:51 am**

download/file.php?id=2774&mode=view

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:21 am**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:37 am**

Got mole problems?
Call Avogadro at 602-1023

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:08 am**

What was the crime when NaCl was arrested?
A salt.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 10:49 am**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 10:52 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:03 am**

Tell me a potassium joke.

K.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:27 am**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:30 am**

: Just 14BL things

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:09 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:45 pm**

If a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster?
The one in Alaska, because it is polar.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:07 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:09 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:15 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:22 pm**

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:27 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:56 pm**

Organic Chem

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:06 pm**

A small furry mammal walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is 6.00 x 10^23. We can't serve a mole." (bc a mole is 6.022 x 10^23)

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:43 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 4:58 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:44 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:35 pm**

Posted: **Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:36 pm**

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

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