CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:31 pm**

i need all the positivity i can get for the final

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:16 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:56 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:51 am**

: 10639575_603371563104639_5481607586479959586_n.jpg (15.76 KiB) Viewed 23312 times

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:26 am**

Oxygen and Potassium?

They're OK. Nothing Special.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:49 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:54 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:56 pm**

If a queen farts, is it considered a noble gas?

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:00 pm**

If all the good chemistry jokes argon then we should probably zinc of new ones

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:35 pm**

How often do I joke about chemistry?
periodically

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:52 pm**

WHAT IN TITRATION!!

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:19 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:23 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:25 pm**

Q: What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
A: Water.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:29 pm**

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:30 pm**

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:32 pm**

How do you post a picture to the joke page?

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:33 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
because it was a polar bear

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:42 pm**

What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
BaH

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:47 pm**

Pick up lines

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:55 pm**

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:10 pm**

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:14 pm**

Whats a frat boy's favorite element? BROmine
Whats a frat boy's favorite organic substituent? BROmo

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:23 pm**

An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:25 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:39 pm**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:43 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:10 pm**

Planes

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:13 pm**

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:15 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:23 pm**

Think like a proton. Always positive!

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:28 pm**

What's the hottest chemistry rap group in the game?

"Bu-tane Clan"

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:45 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:50 pm**

Don't throw sodium chloride at people, that's assault!

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:30 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride?
A: NaH

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 6:44 pm**

"Help! Save me!! I'm diene!"

"I'm triene!!!"

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:04 pm**

What is Avogadro teaching his astronomy class about?

The molar system

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:16 pm**

When Dr. Lavelle talked about vinyl this week, I thought about vinyl car seats.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:19 pm**

104733309 wrote:How do you post a picture to the joke page?

You can attach it if you scroll down below the box that says "I agree." Click on "Attachments" >> "Add files."

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:30 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:51 pm**

Simple yet elegant.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:09 pm**

A proton walks up to a hydrogen atom and says, "Man, I think I've lost an electron..." "Are you sure?" his friend asks. "I'm positive!"

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:28 pm**

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the moment they met!
<3

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:52 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:59 pm**

Q: What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A: A salt.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 10:16 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:36 pm**

Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:53 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:58 pm**

what did co2 say to co when co passed gas?
That was silent, but deadly. x__X

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:09 am**

I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:15 am**

When we're almost done with the quarter

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:31 am**

How can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:46 am**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:48 am**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:28 am**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:24 am**

We're all triene our best to understand organic chem

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:00 am**

my line drawings have really improved, to be honest

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:04 am**

carbon's kinda important

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:01 am**

What in hybridization?

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:44 am**

It's true

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:42 am**

Good ole' organic chemistry!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:34 am**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:10 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:21 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:57 pm**

What is the chemical formula of a banana?
Ba(Na)2

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:07 pm**

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:08 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:09 pm**

Q:Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm**

Q:What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A:2Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm**

Q: What does the military use acid for?

A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm**

Q:Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was a polar bear.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:13 pm**

Q: Why is Organic chemistry is hard?
A: People run into alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:14 pm**

Q:What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:37 pm**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Answer: Drinking

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:37 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:51 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:00 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help carrying his luggage. He says, "No. I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:13 pm**

Did you hear about oxygen and potassium's date?
I heard it went OK.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:48 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:20 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:23 pm**

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:27 pm**

Makes sense to me

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:32 pm**

Chemistry Joke :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:48 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:04 pm**

i know we haven't covered hydrogenation yet but

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:09 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:12 pm**

Q: Why would a chemist play the piano?

A: To hear the different ketones!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:15 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:27 pm**

nanananananana baaaatmannn

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:34 pm**

Most chem jokes are bad since most of the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:35 pm**

What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:36 pm**

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:37 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:45 pm**

: Screen Shot 2017-03-05 at 4.39.43 PM.png (173.54 KiB) Viewed 23278 times

How I'm feeling right now

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:00 pm**

An optimist sees a glass half full with water.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
A chemist sees a glass full with water and air.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:16 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:21 pm**

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:25 pm**

For all of us entering the last 2 weeks of winter quarter and finals week:
It's good to keep a positive attitude and not have an electron cloud hanging over your head!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:29 pm**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:31 pm**

Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you barium

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