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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:31 pm
by Eli Pazol 2F
i need all the positivity i can get for the final

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:16 am
by Maria Llose 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:56 am
by Jessica_Zeng_3G
chem formaldehyde joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:51 am
by 504829531
10639575_603371563104639_5481607586479959586_n.jpg
10639575_603371563104639_5481607586479959586_n.jpg (15.76 KiB) Viewed 6693 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:26 am
by Erika Gonzalez 1F
Oxygen and Potassium?

They're OK. Nothing Special.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:49 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:54 pm
by Jennifer_Yee_3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:56 pm
by TramHo2G
If a queen farts, is it considered a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:00 pm
by Brandon_Phan_3J
If all the good chemistry jokes argon then we should probably zinc of new ones

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:35 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
How often do I joke about chemistry?
periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:52 pm
by Krishil_Gandhi_1D
WHAT IN TITRATION!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:19 pm
by Laine Gruver 3C
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:23 pm
by Laine Gruver 3C
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:25 pm
by Laine Gruver 3C
Q: What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
A: Water.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:29 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:30 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:32 pm
by 104733309
How do you post a picture to the joke page?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:33 pm
by stuart_key_3E
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
because it was a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:42 pm
by Dana_Tran_1L
What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
BaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:47 pm
by 604805638
Pick up lines

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:55 pm
by Kiana_Shibata_2G
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:10 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:14 pm
by melissasandoval2O
Whats a frat boy's favorite element? BROmine
Whats a frat boy's favorite organic substituent? BROmo

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:23 pm
by Gabriela_2E
An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:25 pm
by Arielle 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:39 pm
by emilyharland
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:43 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:10 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Planes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:13 pm
by kgiesch1N
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:15 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:23 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
Think like a proton. Always positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:28 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
What's the hottest chemistry rap group in the game?

"Bu-tane Clan"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:45 pm
by Abbey Kerscher 3O
!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:50 pm
by Katherine Sung 2I
Don't throw sodium chloride at people, that's assault!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:30 pm
by Arianna_Mandelli_3C
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride?
A: NaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 6:44 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
"Help! Save me!! I'm diene!"

"I'm triene!!!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:04 pm
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
What is Avogadro teaching his astronomy class about?

The molar system

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:16 pm
by Yamilex Velgara 2I
When Dr. Lavelle talked about vinyl this week, I thought about vinyl car seats.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:19 pm
by Yamilex Velgara 2I
104733309 wrote:How do you post a picture to the joke page?


You can attach it if you scroll down below the box that says "I agree." Click on "Attachments" >> "Add files."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:30 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:51 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
Simple yet elegant.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:09 pm
by Lillian_Lai_1K
A proton walks up to a hydrogen atom and says, "Man, I think I've lost an electron..." "Are you sure?" his friend asks. "I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:28 pm
by Zoe Robertson 2H
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the moment they met!
<3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:52 pm
by Sandy_Kim_1K
Organic chemistry is difficult. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 9:59 pm
by SydneyKusumoputro_3K
Q: What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A: A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 10:16 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:36 pm
by Jonathan Marin Dis3A
Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:53 pm
by Jennifer Ngo 1M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:58 pm
by isabelle ruedisueli 1j
what did co2 say to co when co passed gas?
That was silent, but deadly. x__X

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:09 am
by Jingyuan_Fu_3E
I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:15 am
by Aiden_Hsu_1M
When we're almost done with the quarter
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:31 am
by Christina_F_3F
How can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:46 am
by Grace 3G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:48 am
by Camille_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:28 am
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:24 am
by JulieLy_3C
We're all triene our best to understand organic chem

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:00 am
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
my line drawings have really improved, to be honest

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:04 am
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
carbon's kinda important

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:01 am
by Edgar Ramos
What in hybridization?
IMG_3417.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:44 am
by Raj Susarla 3I
It's true

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:42 am
by Cobie_Allen_1H
Good ole' organic chemistry!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:34 am
by Keitty_Calderon_1C
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:10 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
Screen Shot 2017-03-05 at 12.00.52 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:21 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:57 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
What is the chemical formula of a banana?
Ba(Na)2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:07 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:08 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:09 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q:Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q:What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A:2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm
by Hannah Meacham 2A
Q: What does the military use acid for?

A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:11 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q:Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:13 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q: Why is Organic chemistry is hard?
A: People run into alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:14 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q:What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here (Jonathan Orozco)

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:37 pm
by Jonathan Orozco 1A
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?


Answer: Drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:37 pm
by ERIKTORRESDisc3C
10979682_1541948139400926_1155126403_n.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:51 pm
by Teja_Kadali_3A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:00 pm
by Felicia Zhang 2J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help carrying his luggage. He says, "No. I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:13 pm
by Bailey_Osborne_3A
Did you hear about oxygen and potassium's date?
I heard it went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:48 pm
by Isaiah Sandoval 1D
cow_methane.gif

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:20 pm
by AlexandraOsterland_3E
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:23 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:27 pm
by Adam Wojnar 1K
Makes sense to me

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:32 pm
by Desiree Martin 2A
Chemistry Joke :)
organic chem.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:48 pm
by Alex_Wagas_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:04 pm
by Anjum Farook 2O
i know we haven't covered hydrogenation yet but

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:09 pm
by ckim_1I
ha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:12 pm
by Annie_Amundson_1L
Q: Why would a chemist play the piano?

A: To hear the different ketones!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:15 pm
by David Julfayan 1F
PJHc3PR.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:27 pm
by 104733309
nanananananana baaaatmannn

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:34 pm
by Kareem
Most chem jokes are bad since most of the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:35 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:36 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:37 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?


They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:45 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
Screen Shot 2017-03-05 at 4.39.43 PM.png
Screen Shot 2017-03-05 at 4.39.43 PM.png (173.54 KiB) Viewed 6659 times

How I'm feeling right now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:00 pm
by TiengTum2D
An optimist sees a glass half full with water.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
A chemist sees a glass full with water and air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:16 pm
by Kathrin Magdalani 3J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:21 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:25 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
For all of us entering the last 2 weeks of winter quarter and finals week:
It's good to keep a positive attitude and not have an electron cloud hanging over your head!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:29 pm
by Omeed_Partovi_1L
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:31 pm
by Austin Gee 2N
Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you barium