CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:41 pm**

You R-O-R get organic chemistry, or you don't.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:50 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:54 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:03 pm**

Q: What did the Electrophile say to Benzene?
A: I want some of that sweet pi.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:06 pm**

This is a little dramatic but I can see it!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:31 pm**

The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:41 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:44 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:01 pm**

Did you here oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:02 pm**

What is carbon dating? Two diamonds on a night out.

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:12 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:16 pm**

This chemistry quiz is going to be alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:21 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:31 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:36 pm**

mood before chem quiz

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:42 pm**

what did the polar bear dissolved in water?
Polar Bear!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:43 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:44 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:47 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:51 pm**

Cover your basics

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:59 pm**

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

A: CoRnY.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:04 pm**

Q: Hydroxyl, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar. What did the bartender say?

A: "OH SNaP!!!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:06 pm**

i
love Chem!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:07 pm**

What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

CoRnY

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:08 pm**

Have you heard the one about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?

He just couldn't put it down

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:19 pm**

pusheen cat

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:26 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:32 pm**

A corny one

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:37 pm**

hehehe

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:43 pm**

Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:44 pm**

Anyone here yet???

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:44 pm**

Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:44 pm**

Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was too attractive!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:49 pm**

Q: What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
A: "Au revoir"

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:51 pm**

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: At least I have a degree.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:55 pm**

Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero ?
He's 0K now

What's a girl's future best friend?
Carbon
C (graphite) -> C (diamond)

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:58 pm**

What car did the Chemistry Professor buy?
A Mercedes Benzene.
:)

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:08 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, bartender says, "for you, no charge!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:11 pm**

: periodic-table-150x150.jpg (8.48 KiB) Viewed 17941 times

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:15 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:18 pm**

honestly I laughed

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:34 pm**

Why are chemists great for solving problems?
- They have all the solutions.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:35 pm**

Why did the electron want to go to the party?

Because it was excited

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:40 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:44 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:46 pm**

Q. How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
A. Ask them to pronounce “unionized”!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:47 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:49 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:58 pm**

What is a snake's favorite law?
Hesssss's Law!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:02 pm**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:03 pm**

What is Avogadro's favorite type of fruit?

Watermolens.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:08 pm**

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:10 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon...

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:11 pm**

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Fe-breeze

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:12 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:14 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:15 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:16 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:19 pm**

What did the chemists say after they heard a funny joke?

"That joke was sodium funny. I slapped my neon on that one."

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:21 pm**

What was Avogadro's favorite sport?

Golf because he always got a mole-in-one.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:25 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:26 pm**

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?
It's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:27 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:30 pm**

What was NaCl charged with when he was arrested?
A salt

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:32 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:38 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:42 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:45 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:46 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:48 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:49 pm**

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me. That's a salt!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:57 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 10:59 pm**

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?

He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:03 pm**

I tell bad chemistry jokes periodically

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:04 pm**

If you have mass and take up space, then you matter <3

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:07 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:10 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:20 pm**

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
6.0221x10^23
So call me maybe!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:22 pm**

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:23 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:25 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:27 pm**

Chem is so fluorine uranium nitrogen!!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:28 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:29 pm**

Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
A: Because the have and make all the solutions!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:31 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:32 pm**

Criminal Elements:

Cu: I'm taking the two of you in for a salt!

Na and Cl: You'll never catch us alive, copper!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:32 pm**

Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?
-Nucleotides

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:34 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:36 pm**

When you can't find good chemistry jokes... This will have to do

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:36 pm**

You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all I can see is U and I!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:39 pm**

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:39 pm**

Austin Gee 2N wrote:Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you barium

I LOLed so hard at this :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:39 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:41 pm**

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One says to the other, "Hey I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:43 pm**

What's the only thing worse than organic chemistry? GMO chemistry.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:48 pm**

tbh lavelle said it first

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:58 pm**

My TA threw Sodium chloride at me! That's a salt! >=(

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:59 pm**

What Do You Call a Fish Made of Two Sodium Atoms?
2Na

Posted: **Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:00 am**

Our Bond is So strong, not even a nucleophile can break it!

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