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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:02 am
by Jared Gao 3G
"Do you want any Sodium, Bromine, or Oxygen?" "NaBrO"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:02 am
by Vivian Wang 3J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:11 am
by Chaoyi_He_3H
What is a chemist’s favorite plant?
Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:02 am
by Delour Haj 3J
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:05 am
by Melissa Van Pell 2I
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, " Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but at least I know where I am"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:16 am
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Do You Have Any Sodium Hypobromite?

A. NaBrODo

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:22 am
by Evan Gentry 2E
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:05 am
by Kristine_Espinosa_2L
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:08 am
by Jackyboy 1C
What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:00 am
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:35 am
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Organic chemistry is difficult...
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:39 am
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:42 am
by BiancaDang3H
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:04 am
by Karishma_Patel3E
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. lt’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!”
Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:20 am
by paulapedrani
"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:24 am
by maria_tamondong_1L
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:27 am
by Odel Zadeh_2C
Week 9 Chem Joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:06 am
by Hannah Liu 2A
Q: Is Silicon spelled the same in Spanish?

A: Si!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:08 am
by lorrainerowe_1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:24 am
by Maverick Tan 1F
What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

A. Let me atom!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:32 am
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
Chemists are bad at telling jokes...
They lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:46 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:01 pm
by Korosh Bahrami
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:28 pm
by Jason_Hong_2J
What did the chemist snack on during lunch?

A "gram" cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:31 pm
by Teresa_Duarte_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:32 pm
by AonyaMontoya2B
True.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:33 pm
by AonyaMontoya2B
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 1:56 pm
by 304779711
Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
It was a Polar Bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:17 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:58 pm
by Hannah Liu 2A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:18 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:35 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?

I AM!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:03 pm
by gohar_mkrtchyan_2J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:07 pm
by Alexa_Kwang_1D
You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I see is U and I

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:14 pm
by Franklin Kong 3D
Why do hamburgers have a lower energy than steak?
Because they're in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:28 pm
by Sydniespore
IMG_2832.PNG
Chemistry joke
[attachment=0]IMG_2832.PNG[/attach

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:37 pm
by Cindy Ngo 1E
Q: What do they do with a sick chemist?
A: Well, if you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:00 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
It takes alkynes to make a world.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:18 pm
by AllanNicholson2F
IMG_0036.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:06 pm
by Yi Ying Chen 3N
I hate dealing with triple bonds. They cause alkyne-ds of problems.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:01 pm
by Jessica_Zeng_3G
What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:15 pm
by Erika Gonzalez 1F
Two ions walk out of a bar...

The first says, "I left my electrons inside."
The second says, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:50 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:56 pm
by Alice Jung 1C
MOOD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:28 pm
by a_jeny2E
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:29 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
How to survive the O-Chem part of 14B...

"When in doubt, draw it out!" -Laurence Lavelle

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:28 am
by Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?


A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:36 am
by JonathanZhu3B
I make bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:37 am
by Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:39 am
by AndyL3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:11 am
by hfrazer1B
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:48 am
by Iris Feng 2I
What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:54 am
by Omer Lavian 2K
A really deep and important question to ponder as you study for quiz 3 and the final.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:01 am
by Desiree Martin 2A
Chemistry Joke:)
main-qimg-989be0a54f152a9fc3120cd0366f20fc.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:02 am
by Tanner Baroni 3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:33 am
by Nikki Nguyen 2N
not for me xD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:16 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:36 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:51 pm
by 304779711
Life is like an organic reaction... the negative energy is always compelled to attack the positive little guys!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:00 pm
by Ashley T 2H
f48bb2f65dcbeda329fe5015ac1d3922.jpg
f48bb2f65dcbeda329fe5015ac1d3922.jpg (5.26 KiB) Viewed 7600 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:02 pm
by yubin moon 3c
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:20 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
Lavelle! Here's another Hat meme!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:41 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
Old chemists never die.

They just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:14 pm
by Melanie_Wong_1K
17992099aeae967ed8233412bc82b457.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:43 pm
by Libbyfidel_1E
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:56 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:27 pm
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
Not sure if i posted for week 8 yet but.. lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:30 pm
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
HAHHAHAH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:34 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
No snapchat, sorry. Homeboy only receives text messages

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:49 pm
by Bailey_Osborne_3A
How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's Number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:50 pm
by Bailey_Osborne_3A
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:59 pm
by Emily_Bloom_1I
main-qimg-9114e7e7de4b593a5bd738e754a9332d.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:49 pm
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15°C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:51 pm
by Nick_Ida 1D
What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:20 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
laugh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:40 pm
by Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:42 pm
by Gigi Ye 2K
Why do chemists like nitrate so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:57 pm
by AndyL3I
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it's a polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:58 pm
by Ryan Cerny 3I
Why did the bacterium die?
It was invaded by a retro- isopropyl-hexane!!!!!!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:09 pm
by Kiana_Shibata_2G
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:21 pm
by Chris Liddicoat
Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:25 pm
by sheilaho_1E
Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:54 pm
by LeontyneHenderson2E
What did carbon say to uranium before he left?
I'll CU later

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:59 pm
by LeontyneHenderson2E
What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A polar bear!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:24 pm
by Amber_Candelaria_1D
I'm diene
ae0c933794f4809d88a4b734e554d86d.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:44 pm
by hfrazer1B
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:21 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?

A: It was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:22 pm
by Bryan Vega 2E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:39 pm
by Karan Ishii 3E
My Father is a Chemist my Mother is a Mathematician. They named me iron59.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:47 pm
by gracehart
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 12:29 am
by Nikola_Stojcic_3O
Q: How did the Alkane get to work?
A:It rode its bi-cyclo

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:29 am
by Joshua Song 2M
What's the difference between a pedophile and an electrophile?

One has the letter "d" and the other doesn't.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:28 am
by Katrina_Galian 1J
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:00 am
by ryan_chowdhury_2E
Did you say Professor Lavelle listens to Tupac?

No, I said he listens to IUPAC! He loves their recent soundtrack about naming complex hydrocarbons.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:19 am
by Hannah Liu 2A
Q: Are you a compound of Barium and Beryllium?
A: because you are such a BaBe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:43 am
by arsalzaheer2L
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:46 am
by Amy_Dixon_1I
Actually

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:38 pm
by Jennifer_Yee_3I
Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of trouble!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:11 pm
by stuart_key_3E
Two chemists go into a bar
The first one says "I think I'll have some H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have some H2O too," and later died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:30 pm
by Abishek 3K
.