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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 1:33 pm
by Theresa Dinh 3F
Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:10 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
Q: Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
A: Because its a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:26 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:55 pm
by Tara Ostad 1H
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:42 pm
by Kelsey Jug 1J
What did iodine say while spying on copper?
I see you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:23 am
by Chaoyi_He_3H
What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:18 pm
by Maverick Tan 1F
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:22 pm
by Amber_Candelaria_1D
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:59 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date!
OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:08 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:30 pm
by Julia Hwang 3G
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 7:28 pm
by Deen Tar
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:03 pm
by Jake_Benna_3J
Optimist: The glass is half full

Pessimist: The glass is half empty

Chemist: The glass is 50% H2O(l), 39%N(g), 10.5% O2(g), .44%Ar(g), and .06% CO2(g)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:58 pm
by Kathy Vu 3L
Two chemists walk in a bar. One asks for H20, and the other says "I'll have H2O too." The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:12 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Q:What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:25 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
OMG
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium are a couple?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:08 am
by K Phelan 3D
A photon goes to check into its hotel. The bellhop asks, "Do you need help with your luggage?" The photon responds, "No thank you, I'm carrying light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 2:53 am
by YuniLee_1K
joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 2:12 pm
by Abigail Foster 1K
I like chemistry jokes, periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 2:24 pm
by JulieLy_3C
What do chemists always bring to a camping trip?
-"gram" crackers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:23 pm
by TramHo2G
How does copper say goodbye?
CU later!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:57 pm
by GevickSafarians_14B
Funny Stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:29 pm
by Joyce Wu 3E
Image

But seriously we need to combat global warming and help the polar bears

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:23 pm
by Blake_Katsev_2E
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:28 pm
by Natalie Rotstein 3J
Thought this one was worth sharing Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:50 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
I was going to tell a good joke about sodium hydride but I decided NaH.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:18 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:21 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
The name's Bond. Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:40 pm
by Nikhil_Madan_3C
If H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, then what is H2O4?

Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 9:34 am
by Rishi_Kayathi_1E
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 10:42 am
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
A photon walks into a hotel and the clerk says, "can I take your bags sir?" The photon replies, "no thanks I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:24 pm
by Divya Kumar 3I
Person 1: I blew up my chemistry experiment!!
Person 2: Oxidents happen

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:28 pm
by Julia Javate 4J
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:31 pm
by Taylor_Yamane_2L
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Q: Describe the chemical difference between H20 and CO2.
A: H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:43 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:07 pm
by Jessie_Chen_2L
I'm a female.
Fe = Female
Male = Man
Therefore, I am Iron Man.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:22 pm
by SarahTian3k
Werner Heisenberg is driving a car on the freeway when a cop pulls him over for speeding. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?" the cop exclaims. "No," Heisenberg replies, "but I can tell you exactly where I was."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:40 pm
by bridgetfoy_1D
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.

Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.

yay for chemistry jokes!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 9:46 pm
by 804780590
Something to think about...
if a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 11:17 pm
by rachel_john
These jokes are sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:09 am
by Zara_Joshi_3L
joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:07 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
You must be full of copper and tellurium because you're cute!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:40 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
always think like a proton and stay positive (:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:26 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees." :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:14 pm
by giareyes_2B
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:31 pm
by Rob_Carter_1L
Three nobles gases walk into a bar.
No one reacts.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:39 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
what is the chemical formula for coffee?
-CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:44 pm
by Lisbeth Hernandez3L
What element is a girl's best friend?
-Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:20 pm
by swatiperepa
What sharp object do you get when you combine potassium, nickel and iron?


--->KNiFe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:26 pm
by AngelaWang_1F
What do you call an iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:27 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
What is a chemist's favorite plant?

Stochiome-tree!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:29 pm
by Alex Uy 2D
I've got my ion you...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:33 pm
by Lucy Nakashima 1E
This is relevant to what we've talked about in class this week haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:41 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:29 pm
by sheilaho_1E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:36 pm
by Natalie Hunt 1E

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:37 pm
by Natalie Hunt 1E
Chem Joke Week 3.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:38 pm
by Julia_Gordon_2A
How many moles are in a guacamole?


Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:39 pm
by Julie Barreto 3A
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 5:13 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q: What happened to the chemist who was pulled over for having NaCl and a 9V in his car?

A: He was arrested for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 5:36 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?

A: Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:13 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
Once I told a chemistry joke....there was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:15 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
*badumtss*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:32 pm
by Brandon_Williams_3E
Q: What did the chemist say when he found to helium isotopes?

A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:43 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
Does anyone remember that one really good chemistry joke? Na? OK never mind.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:49 pm
by Antonio_Zenteno_4E
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:25 pm
by Jonathan Marin Dis3A
Q: What is a cation?
A: An ion with a paws-itive charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:44 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
Hopefully everyone did better than this person on their quizzes and other midterms!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 8:53 pm
by Anthony Garibay 3J
What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

A: Let me Atom

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:06 pm
by 404821045
One day a chemist wrote to his girlfriend:" I am oxygen and you are the hydrogen,we are bond as tightly as H20."
His girlfriend replied:" who is the other hydrogen."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:13 pm
by Austin_Saephan_1B
What do you call iron in the air?

Fe-breeze !!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:25 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
I think I've lost an electron... in fact, I'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 10:36 pm
by Fayt Sarreal 1G
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0x10^23 pieces?

Guacamole!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 10:39 pm
by 904605949
IMG_0498.JPG
It's an Cat-ion :3
IMG_0498.JPG (26.09 KiB) Viewed 9260 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:10 pm
by ginnyyao1L

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:25 pm
by AllanNicholson2F
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:31 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
Sorry, I was too concentrated in my titration labs to notice...

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 12:02 am
by Yesenia Munoz 1G
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates. (:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:23 am
by hafsa_zulfiqar_1j
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:47 am
by DaMonte Jones 3B
You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:56 am
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
pic.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 12:04 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
A cat told his owner a joke about Saturn.
The owner replied, “oh you silicate.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 12:15 pm
by Abbeyj3I
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? .....A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 1:07 pm
by Tatum_Bernat_1E
Reading all these jokes, I think this class is going to be a (pro)ton of fun this year with Mr. Lavelle!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 3:55 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
What did the hardware store owner say to the man who stole copper wire?
"I'll Cu in court!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 6:30 pm
by sboutros2B
Told a joke to noble gases... they didn't react ):

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:03 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Chem Tip

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:08 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 10:36 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
Tommy:
I lost an electron!!
John:
Are you positive??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:22 pm
by Jiaruo Wang 1K
here's the fun one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:38 pm
by F Rios 3E
I don't have any good Chemistry jokes,
because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:08 am
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
My friend and I sat down at dinner to come up with some chemistry jokes/puns. We didn't come up with anything good, but it was a great bonding experience.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:37 am
by Tiffany Wee 2D
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 11:17 am
by Paul Ndawula 1D
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 11:29 am
by Emily_Bloom_1I
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 11:40 am
by Ryan Cerny 3I
I can't wait until we are finished with our chemistry final- then we Argon.

Which element is the most medicinal?
-Curium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:43 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:36 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Titanium is the most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:44 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
I meant to post this up on Friday, but here goes:
What did the chemist say when he dropped a block of gold onto his foot?
"Au, that hurt!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:51 pm
by Alexia_Vanegas_1G
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.