CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:41 pm**

1,2-dimethylcyclopropane?

I should wear that to the beach...

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:52 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:05 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:19 pm**

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:20 pm**

: images.png (9.61 KiB) Viewed 22292 times

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:23 pm**

Did you know you could cool yourself to -273.15°C and still be 0K???

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:46 pm**

I told a bad joke about Helium one day, but nobody was reactive.

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:49 pm**

Oh ok

Posted: **Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:56 pm**

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:23 am**

Q. What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

A. Polar Bond

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:37 am**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:41 am**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:46 am**

It's true. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:22 am**

Anybody know any jokes about sodium?

Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:01 am**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:03 am**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:14 am**

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, washing and swimming

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:19 am**

Think like a proton and stay positive!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:28 am**

Q: What did thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got numerous degrees"

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:11 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

What's "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
It's in the ground state

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:23 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:54 pm**

O chemistry you make me laugh

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:07 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:11 pm**

Breaking Bad :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:11 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:29 pm**

Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:51 pm**

What did Na and Ne say after hearing a chemistry joke?

That was sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:25 pm**

Baby, I know chemistry and you've got one significant figure

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:28 pm**

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:39 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:43 pm**

If your'e not part of the solution you're part of the participate.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:43 pm**

Here's a fun one about hydrocarbons:

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:14 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:17 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:32 pm**

[img]

cation.jpg

[/img]

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:50 pm**

Organic Chemistry is difficult.... Those who study it will have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:52 pm**

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero?

A: He's oK now.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:53 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Ironman team up, they'd be alloys

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:54 pm**

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:57 pm**

Chemists.....

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:58 pm**

After the final

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:00 pm**

2 types

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:17 pm**

Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:34 pm**

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:58 pm**

Hahaha!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:08 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:10 pm**

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:11 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:14 pm**

The sun and moon must be jealous of other models because they have eclipsed conformations less often that other models.
(Instead of the normal 120 degrees they need to wait the full 360 degrees.)

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:17 pm**

What kind of phone did Oxygen buy Sulfur for his birthday?

A Sulfone

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:33 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:37 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

A: It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:43 pm**

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:47 pm**

If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster?

The one in Alaska, because it's polar. :)

~~~~
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:14 pm**

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:15 pm**

Do you have mole problems?
If so, call Avogrado at 602-1023

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:16 pm**

When you know Chemistry Jokes

But they all Boron

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:17 pm**

Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:29 pm**

How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker? None. That's what organic chemists are for!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:41 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:45 pm**

http://i.imgur.com/bos8ZrD.png

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:46 pm**

Organic chemistry is really difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:48 pm**

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... icexam.png

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:49 pm**

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... 500cf4.jpg

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:49 pm**

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... lature.png

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:56 pm**

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:15 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:18 pm**

Since the final is in a week....

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:22 pm**

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:23 pm**

What is the molecule CH2O called? Seawater!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:36 pm**

Organic chemistry is hard. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:49 pm**

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
“HeHe”

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:51 pm**

True story

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:07 pm**

The Chemistry Cat doesn't have 9 lives, but instead has 18 half-lives (he's radioactive!).

This one really cracked me up!!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:10 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:15 pm**

What animal is made of calcium, nickel, and neon?

A CaNiNe! :D

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:16 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:27 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:28 pm**

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:37 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:39 pm**

Anyone know any jokes about Sodium?
Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:49 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:08 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:18 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:27 pm**

Why do aromatics belong in the nuthouse?

Because they’re all CYCLO.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:30 pm**

"Chemists, man."

"What's wrong with chemists?"

"Well, you just have to keep an ION them."

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:36 pm**

A chemist walks into the bar asking for concentrated sodium hydroxide.
The bartender asks, "Why the long base?"

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:47 pm**

alright

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:50 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:52 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:03 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they're cheaper than day rates

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:14 pm**

Jessica_Nakahira_1G wrote:Since the final is in a week....

I hope not! :-)

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:17 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:19 pm**

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces?
Guacamole.

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:21 pm**

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?

A chemistree

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:25 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:33 pm**

Every dipole has its moment!

Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high-voltage plates before entering the work place???

--Because he didn't want any unionized workers!!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:34 pm**

Since it's beach season in California!

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:35 pm**

periodic table jokes

Posted: **Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:36 pm**

Love is in the air

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