CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:16 pm**

getting ready for finaaals

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:23 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:51 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:08 pm**

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Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:11 pm**

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Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:26 pm**

Chemist on the phone

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:35 pm**

Hey girl are you made of Copper and tellurium?

Because you're CuTe

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:40 pm**

I wanted to post a chem joke, but all the good ones argon.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:31 pm**

any jokes about oxygen and potassium?

I mean they're OK. nothing special.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:38 pm**

Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:39 pm**

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:41 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:07 pm**

When everything looks like an organic compound to you...

It’s not a stop sign, it’s not an octagon, it’s a cycloctane.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:10 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:12 pm**

A cheesy joke perfect for finals weeks:

Good luck to everyone!

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:14 pm**

Studying for Dr. Lavelle's chemistry final? More like stuDYING for the chemistry final.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:15 pm**

804780590 wrote:Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

I thought oxygen was dating magnesium…omg

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:04 pm**

How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?

Fear of utility bills.

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:46 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:50 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:55 pm**

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Posted: **Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:57 pm**

9. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:01 am**

Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:07 am**

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:09 am**

Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? A: He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:10 am**

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine? A: By subsisting on titrations

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:12 am**

Q: What did one titration tell the other? A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:16 am**

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:17 am**

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Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:24 am**

Q.Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

A.They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:27 am**

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear!

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:38 am**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:39 am**

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:41 am**

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:43 am**

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:58 am**

Ferrous Wheel

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:15 am**

I told a chemistry joke...there was no reaction

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:17 am**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt!

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:29 am**

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Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:46 am**

"BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD"

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:51 am**

*Neutron* "How much for a drink?"
*Proton Bartender* "For you? No charge"
*Neutron* "Are you positive?"

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:52 am**

How to remember the difference between Cations and Anions?
A Cat-ion is Paws-itively charged

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:52 am**

What dog breed is most suitable for chemists?
Laboratory Retrievers! :-)

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:07 am**

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:37 am**

Chem pick up line:
If you were C6 and I was H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:56 am**

Old chemists don’t die...

they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:14 am**

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Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:11 pm**

Name that Molecule! (As seen in the entrance to CS 50)

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:13 pm**

Name that Molecule!
(Entrance to CS 50)

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:25 pm**

Dr. Lavelle: Catalyst lowers.... what?
Student: A catalyst lowers the activation energy to speed up the reaction, it basically helps a reaction take a short cut...
Student athlete: Short cut? There are no short cuts on the road to success. We grind all day everyday to make our dreams a reality. There are no breaks for us because the hustle never stops. Faith, family, team.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:03 pm**

I'm triene, but I'm diene (;

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:11 pm**

guaca-mole lol

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:11 pm**

poor reaction

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:12 pm**

poor polar bear

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:26 pm**

Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: To reduce his carbon footprint.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:59 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was a polar bear

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:11 pm**

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:13 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:29 pm**

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 4:49 pm**

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:09 pm**

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:34 pm**

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:07 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult, it causes alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:18 pm**

Hoping to have enough potential to pass the final...

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:38 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:19 pm**

Honey, we're a galvanic cell. Can't you feel the electricity flowing between us?

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:10 pm**

How do you tell the difference between a train driver and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce Unionised.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:23 pm**

Q) What's a scientist's favorite plant?

A) A Chemistree

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:29 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:13 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:26 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:30 pm**

Q:What's the difference between chemistry and cooking?

A: In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon!!

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:56 pm**

Q: What's the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:00 pm**

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees."

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:05 pm**

Why is the pH of Youtube very stable? It constantly buffers.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:18 pm**

Never trust atoms :(
They make up everything >__>

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:22 pm**

Chemistry is...

[F]luorine
[U]ranium
[N]itrogen

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:23 pm**

I have a greater chance of reaching absolute zero than getting a girlfriend.

Posted: **Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:42 pm**

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Au revoir.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:15 am**

-Are you the 11th element on the periodic table?

-Because you're SODIUM fine ;)

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:21 am**

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2Na :D

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:23 am**

People with finals later in the week.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:52 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:58 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 2:09 am**

Are you made of Uranium and Iodine?

Because all I can see is U and I ;)

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:10 am**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am**

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:14 am**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:15 am**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:15 am**

What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:30 am**

Q: Do I know the molecular formula for sodium hydride?

A: NaH.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:33 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:14 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:12 am**

I couldn't find any good chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:14 am**

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:06 am**

Almost there!

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:10 am**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:23 am**

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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