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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:16 pm
by gingy 1K
getting ready for finaaals

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:23 pm
by Stephanie Demo 2N
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:51 pm
by Uisa_Manumaleuna_3E
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:08 pm
by Samantha Rubin-Pope - 1H
e5bcb515cf0ca0793745e3b034f5f7eb.jpg
e5bcb515cf0ca0793745e3b034f5f7eb.jpg (27.76 KiB) Viewed 7726 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:11 pm
by Samantha Rubin-Pope - 1H
0db53214175b865a600494ef3951ba06.jpg
0db53214175b865a600494ef3951ba06.jpg (11.42 KiB) Viewed 7726 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:26 pm
by Ariana_Kermani_2G
Chemist on the phone

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:35 pm
by 804748473
Hey girl are you made of Copper and tellurium?

Because you're CuTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:40 pm
by 804748473
I wanted to post a chem joke, but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:31 pm
by Raymond_Guan_1H
any jokes about oxygen and potassium?

I mean they're OK. nothing special.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:38 pm
by 804780590
Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:39 pm
by Anya_Alag_3J
"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:41 pm
by gohar_mkrtchyan_2J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:07 pm
by Karina Amezcua 1L
When everything looks like an organic compound to you...

chem joke 7.jpg


It’s not a stop sign, it’s not an octagon, it’s a cycloctane.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:10 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:12 pm
by Karina Amezcua 1L
A cheesy joke perfect for finals weeks:

chem joke 8.jpg


Good luck to everyone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:14 pm
by melissasandoval2O
Studying for Dr. Lavelle's chemistry final? More like stuDYING for the chemistry final.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:15 pm
by Karina Amezcua 1L
804780590 wrote:Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

I thought oxygen was dating magnesium…omg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:04 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?

Fear of utility bills.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:46 pm
by HimadreeR
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:50 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:55 pm
by Precious_Li_1D
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:57 pm
by JoseMAvila15
9. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:01 am
by Precious_Li_1D
Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:07 am
by JoseMAvila15
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:09 am
by JoseMAvila15
Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? A: He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:10 am
by JoseMAvila15
Q: How did the chemist survive the famine? A: By subsisting on titrations

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:12 am
by JoseMAvila15
Q: What did one titration tell the other? A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:16 am
by JoseMAvila15
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:17 am
by EmilyLeibovitch2E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:24 am
by Maverick Tan 1F
Q.Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

A.They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:27 am
by Divya Kumar 3I
What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:38 am
by Divya Kumar 3I
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:39 am
by Divya Kumar 3I
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:41 am
by Divya Kumar 3I
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:43 am
by Divya Kumar 3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:58 am
by saminah_adam
Ferrous Wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:15 am
by Nick_Kopooshian_3C
I told a chemistry joke...there was no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:17 am
by Sangita_Sub_3H
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:29 am
by Andrew Zhong 2H
Chemistry Joke.jpg
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:46 am
by Jason Slater 3I
Image

"BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:51 am
by Jason Slater 3I
*Neutron* "How much for a drink?"
*Proton Bartender* "For you? No charge"
*Neutron* "Are you positive?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:52 am
by Jason Slater 3I
How to remember the difference between Cations and Anions?
A Cat-ion is Paws-itively charged

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:52 am
by Nancyh_1E
What dog breed is most suitable for chemists?
Laboratory Retrievers! :-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:07 am
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:37 am
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
Chem pick up line:
If you were C6 and I was H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:56 am
by Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K
Old chemists don’t die...


they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:14 am
by gracehart
Unknown-1.jpeg
Unknown-1.jpeg (6.47 KiB) Viewed 7701 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:11 pm
by Randon_Zahlout_3B
Name that Molecule! (As seen in the entrance to CS 50)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:13 pm
by Randon_Zahlout_3B
Name that Molecule!
(Entrance to CS 50)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:25 pm
by Katelyn_Nakamura_1B
Dr. Lavelle: Catalyst lowers.... what?
Student: A catalyst lowers the activation energy to speed up the reaction, it basically helps a reaction take a short cut...
Student athlete: Short cut? There are no short cuts on the road to success. We grind all day everyday to make our dreams a reality. There are no breaks for us because the hustle never stops. Faith, family, team.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:03 pm
by Hannah_El-Sabrout_2K
I'm triene, but I'm diene (;

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:11 pm
by gingy 1K
guaca-mole lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:11 pm
by gingy 1K
poor reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:12 pm
by gingy 1K
poor polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:26 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: To reduce his carbon footprint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:59 pm
by AngelaWang_1F
Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:11 pm
by Amber_Candelaria_1D
IMG_5534.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:13 pm
by stuart_key_3E
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:29 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 4:49 pm
by AllanNicholson2F
IMG_1509.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:09 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:34 pm
by Quynh Nguyen 2H
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.


If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:07 pm
by emma_arago_3D
Organic chemistry is difficult, it causes alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:18 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
Hoping to have enough potential to pass the final...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:38 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 8:19 pm
by Thomas Morgan 1B
Honey, we're a galvanic cell. Can't you feel the electricity flowing between us?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:10 pm
by JonathanZhu3B
How do you tell the difference between a train driver and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce Unionised.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:23 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
Q) What's a scientist's favorite plant?

A) A Chemistree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:29 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:13 pm
by Ashley Shirriff 2F
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:26 pm
by Ashley Shirriff 2F
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:30 pm
by Greta Tobin 2F
Q:What's the difference between chemistry and cooking?

A: In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:56 pm
by giareyes_2B
Q: What's the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:00 pm
by Gabriela_2E
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:05 pm
by 504829531
Why is the pH of Youtube very stable? It constantly buffers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:18 pm
by Andy_Park_1B
Never trust atoms :(
They make up everything >__>

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:22 pm
by Andy_Park_1B
Chemistry is...

[F]luorine
[U]ranium
[N]itrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:23 pm
by Eljie_2F
I have a greater chance of reaching absolute zero than getting a girlfriend.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:42 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Au revoir.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:15 am
by Bryan Vega 2E
-Are you the 11th element on the periodic table?




-Because you're SODIUM fine ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:21 am
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2Na :D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:23 am
by z_hernandez_loza_3J
People with finals later in the week.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:52 am
by angelikape3k
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:58 am
by Jeana Wei 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 2:09 am
by Kristine_Espinosa_2L
Are you made of Uranium and Iodine?

Because all I can see is U and I ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:10 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:13 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:14 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:15 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:15 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:30 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
Q: Do I know the molecular formula for sodium hydride?

A: NaH.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:33 am
by Helen_Lee_1L
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:14 am
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
enhanced-6075-1398788746-9.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:12 am
by 904621096
I couldn't find any good chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 9:14 am
by Josue_Marin_3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:06 am
by Amy_Dixon_1I
Almost there!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:10 am
by Lily_Dermendjian_2B
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:23 am
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
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