CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:29 am**

trying not to worry about the final

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:33 am**

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:20 am**

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:55 am**

Have you heard about the chemist reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:08 am**

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:10 am**

What show do Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:12 am**

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules so excited when he left the bar?

He got Avogadro's number.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:13 am**

What's the name of James Bond's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:18 am**

What does Silver say to Gold after he walks up to him at the bar?

AU, get outta here!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:42 am**

Why are chemists great at solving problems?

They have all the solutions.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:43 am**

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:43 am**

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Fe-Breeze

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 am**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:50 am**

Final Jokes

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:31 pm**

Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
A: He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:33 pm**

happy finals week

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:35 pm**

If a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska both fall into water, which one will dissolve faster?

The Alaskan one, because it's polar.

Good luck on finals everyone!!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:36 pm**

A graduated cylinder and a dropout cylinder.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:42 pm**

: imgres.jpg (11.64 KiB) Viewed 15949 times

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:44 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:56 pm**

If you ever forget how to draw a chair, just remember the Budweiser logo!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:09 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:13 pm**

You want a joke?

... Well you're not getting one

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:48 pm**

what do you call an acid with an attitude?

a mean oh acid

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:56 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:58 pm**

what does a western hat look like?

if you're not in ochem it looks like a normal hat
if you are in ochem then it looks like a free energy diagram

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:02 pm**

I wish I can tell a joke but they argon

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:16 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: CHoCoLaTe

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:17 pm**

Q: What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
A: BaH

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:17 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:18 pm**

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:18 pm**

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:19 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:20 pm**

Q: What does Silver say to Gold after he walks up to him at the bar?
A: AU, get outta here!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:22 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:33 pm**

Biggest joke of Chem 14B: 2C on Chem 14B Final.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:38 pm**

Don't tell jokes to noble gases----you won't get a reaction.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:47 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:53 pm**

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:19 pm**

Q: What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
A: BaH

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:21 pm**

Chemists are bad at telling jokes...

They lack the element of surprise.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:51 pm**

What do organic chemists sing for around the Christmas tree?

"O CHEMISTREE, O CHEMISTREE"

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:06 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:43 pm**

I hope the Final exam went well for everyone! Have a nice Spring Break :)

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:44 pm**

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Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:50 pm**

what happens to nitrogen as the sun rises?.. It becomes daytrogen! lol

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:01 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:11 pm**

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:11 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:14 pm**

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:20 pm**

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?
A: By subsisting on titrations.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:25 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:26 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:31 pm**

All the women, put your hands up!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:32 pm**

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:35 pm**

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:37 pm**

YES PLEASE

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:37 pm**

savage pt1

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:38 pm**

Savage pt2

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:42 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "Can i help you with any luggage?" The photon replies "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:48 pm**

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:51 pm**

relatable

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:54 pm**

Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:54 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:55 pm**

: x354-q80.jpg (17.32 KiB) Viewed 15937 times

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:56 pm**

Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

A: Because it was a polar bear.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:57 pm**

Q: Why is chemistry so hard?

A: Because you have to solve alkynes of problems.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:00 pm**

Person 1: Soooo......what do you do with a sick chemist?

Person 2: You barium?

Person 1: Nooooooo D: That's way too soon. You've gotta try to helium, and then you try to curium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:01 pm**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:06 pm**

I saw someone run away with my gold, so I shouted "Hey! AU!"

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:13 pm**

I ran out of chemistry jokes... I should ZINC of a new one.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:15 pm**

What religion are protons?

Catholic, because they have mass.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:22 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:58 pm**

why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they are much cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:59 pm**

What in chair confirmation???

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:05 pm**

Q: What does a teary-eyed Santa say???

A: HOH, HOH, HOH!!!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:05 pm**

I don't trust atoms I heard they make up everything

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:08 pm**

I tell chemistry jokes periodically but there is usually no reaction lol

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:17 pm**

My current favorite chem joke:

My final grade!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:21 pm**

Chemistry puts the "cation" in education

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:22 pm**

It takes alkynes to make a world.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:23 pm**

Any jokes about sodium? Na

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:26 pm**

What crime show do cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:39 pm**

Q:Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:48 pm**

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A Polar Bear!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:50 pm**

orgochemproblems.jpg

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:53 pm**

Have you heard about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-he just couldn't put it down!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:58 pm**

Q: How ugly is your mom? A: Even Fluorine won't bind to her!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:03 pm**

What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes Daytrogen!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:03 pm**

If a king farts, is it noble gas???

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:04 pm**

What's the difference between Chemistry and Cooking?
You should never lick the spoon in chemistry!

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:04 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:06 pm**

If H2O is water, and H2O2 is peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:12 pm**

If a king farts, is it noble gas???

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:13 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:16 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:18 pm**

Why do aromatics belong in the nuthouse?

Because they are CYCLO. hahahahahah rip lol.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:21 pm**

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:25 pm**

How to play Draw Something after chem 14b

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:26 pm**

o chem meme.pdf: (33.53 KiB) Downloaded 440 times

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