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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:29 am
by Eli Pazol 2F
trying not to worry about the final

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:33 am
by Kelly Ortega 1K
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:20 am
by Jared Gao 3G
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:55 am
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
Have you heard about the chemist reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:08 am
by Balint Nagy 3C
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:10 am
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
What show do Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:12 am
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules so excited when he left the bar?

He got Avogadro's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:13 am
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
What's the name of James Bond's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:18 am
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
What does Silver say to Gold after he walks up to him at the bar?

AU, get outta here!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:42 am
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
Why are chemists great at solving problems?

They have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:43 am
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:43 am
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Fe-Breeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 am
by Tiffany Wee 2D
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:50 am
by Brian_Mena_1J
Final Jokes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:31 pm
by katherine_r
Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
A: He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:33 pm
by Avery_E
happy finals week

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:35 pm
by katherine_r
If a bear in Yosemite and one in Alaska both fall into water, which one will dissolve faster?

The Alaskan one, because it's polar.

Good luck on finals everyone!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:36 pm
by Anthony Cannizzaro 3J
A graduated cylinder and a dropout cylinder.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:42 pm
by David Julfayan 1F
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imgres.jpg (11.64 KiB) Viewed 7892 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:44 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:56 pm
by Diana_OToole_1F
If you ever forget how to draw a chair, just remember the Budweiser logo!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:09 pm
by Evan Gentry 2E
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:13 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
You want a joke?

... Well you're not getting one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:48 pm
by Anwar Harb 3H
what do you call an acid with an attitude?

a mean oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:56 pm
by Helen 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:58 pm
by Anwar Harb 3H
what does a western hat look like?

if you're not in ochem it looks like a normal hat
if you are in ochem then it looks like a free energy diagram

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:02 pm
by Park_DoHy_2F
I wish I can tell a joke but they argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:16 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: CHoCoLaTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:17 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
A: BaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:17 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:18 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:18 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:19 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:20 pm
by AJ Garalza 2E
Q: What does Silver say to Gold after he walks up to him at the bar?
A: AU, get outta here!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:22 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:33 pm
by wesley hardin
Biggest joke of Chem 14B: 2C on Chem 14B Final.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:38 pm
by wesley hardin
Don't tell jokes to noble gases----you won't get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:47 pm
by Trisha Kurup 2A
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:53 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:19 pm
by Arianna_Mandelli_3C
Q: What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
A: BaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:21 pm
by Harmeet_Kaur_2D
Chemists are bad at telling jokes...

They lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:51 pm
by dayannaramirez_1J
What do organic chemists sing for around the Christmas tree?

"O CHEMISTREE, O CHEMISTREE"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:06 pm
by Sascha_Clark_4I
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:43 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
Image

I hope the Final exam went well for everyone! Have a nice Spring Break :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:44 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:50 pm
by rachel_john
what happens to nitrogen as the sun rises?.. It becomes daytrogen! lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:01 pm
by Eugenia Kwon 3O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:11 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:11 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:14 pm
by Faizal_Mamani_1F
What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:20 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?
A: By subsisting on titrations.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:25 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:26 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:31 pm
by ckim_1I
All the women, put your hands up!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:32 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:35 pm
by Jenny_Luu_2A
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:37 pm
by ckim_1I
YES PLEASE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:37 pm
by ckim_1I
savage pt1

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:38 pm
by ckim_1I
Savage pt2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:42 pm
by Jasleen Kaur 1J
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "Can i help you with any luggage?" The photon replies "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:48 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:51 pm
by Zoe Robertson 2H
relatable

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:54 pm
by Mindy Zhang 3F
Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:54 pm
by Eugenia Kwon 3O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:55 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
x354-q80.jpg
x354-q80.jpg (17.32 KiB) Viewed 7880 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:56 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

A: Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:57 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why is chemistry so hard?

A: Because you have to solve alkynes of problems.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:00 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Person 1: Soooo......what do you do with a sick chemist?

Person 2: You barium?

Person 1: Nooooooo D: That's way too soon. You've gotta try to helium, and then you try to curium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:01 pm
by Alexa_Kwang_1D
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:06 pm
by Julianne_Zingmond_1E
I saw someone run away with my gold, so I shouted "Hey! AU!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:13 pm
by Geovanni_Suarez_3A
I ran out of chemistry jokes... I should ZINC of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:15 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
What religion are protons?

Catholic, because they have mass.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:22 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
Screen Shot 2017-03-19 at 9.21.17 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:58 pm
by Alyssa_Wieand_2G
why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they are much cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:59 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Image
What in chair confirmation???

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:05 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Q: What does a teary-eyed Santa say???

A: HOH, HOH, HOH!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:05 pm
by 004599434
I don't trust atoms I heard they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:08 pm
by Sophie_Ahmad_2F
I tell chemistry jokes periodically but there is usually no reaction lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:17 pm
by 904779609
My current favorite chem joke:

My final grade!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:21 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
Chemistry puts the "cation" in education

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:22 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
It takes alkynes to make a world.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:23 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
Any jokes about sodium? Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:26 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
What crime show do cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:39 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
Q:Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:48 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A Polar Bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:50 pm
by Chris Yeh 3D
orgochemproblems.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:53 pm
by Omeed_Partovi_1L
Have you heard about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-he just couldn't put it down!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:58 pm
by HarshiniMuthukumar3N
Q: How ugly is your mom? A: Even Fluorine won't bind to her!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:03 pm
by Cris-1C
What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes Daytrogen!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:03 pm
by Novelpreet_Boparai1N
If a king farts, is it noble gas???

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:04 pm
by Luigivar 2F
What's the difference between Chemistry and Cooking?
You should never lick the spoon in chemistry!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:04 pm
by KylaTenido1G
Image
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:06 pm
by jonathanshi_1A
If H2O is water, and H2O2 is peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:12 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
If a king farts, is it noble gas???

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:13 pm
by KylaTenido1G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:16 pm
by Arielle 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:18 pm
by Wenqian_Deng_1L
Why do aromatics belong in the nuthouse?

Because they are CYCLO. hahahahahah rip lol.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:21 pm
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:25 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
How to play Draw Something after chem 14b

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:26 pm
by Brandon_Wu_2L
o chem meme.pdf
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