CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:31 pm**

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-good-jokes-about-organic-chemistry

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:31 pm**

Q: What to do when a new lesson sounds like gibberish to your brain?

A: Just slow down and let the idea Zinc in.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:33 pm**

I will always see this as an elephant from now on.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:40 pm**

The organic chem section of the final got me diene.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 pm**

Why are batteries always happy? Because they prefer acting in a positive manner.

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:48 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemist have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:57 pm**

Posted: **Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:58 pm**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:06 am**

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

A: Methylated spirits.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:10 am**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:10 am**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:13 am**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:55 am**

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:56 am**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:56 am**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:08 am**

Me right now :''''(

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:38 am**

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink and the neutron settles down on a stool. After finishing his drink, the neutron asks 'How much for the drink?'
The bartender replies 'For you, NO CHARGE'

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:05 am**

: element-of-surprise_272.gif (55.93 KiB) Viewed 16632 times

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:07 am**

Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:31 am**

Finals week got us like

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:38 am**

Q: What is the molecular formula for coffee?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:48 am**

I hope the Final goes well for everyone!

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:38 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:39 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:39 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:39 pm**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:40 pm**

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:40 pm**

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:42 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:08 pm**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:20 pm**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:29 pm**

Hey sodium, you know any jokes?
Na

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:40 pm**

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:18 pm**

Who is the best at making bad jokes about iodine and americium?

I AM

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:54 pm**

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:13 pm**

"CHEM FINAL QUESTION #2C was doable ..."
-greatest joke of the quarter

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:18 am**

Why do sodium, carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen taste so good together?
- NaCHOs

Posted: **Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:15 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Fri Jun 30, 2017 5:28 pm**

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?
HeHe

Posted: **Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:00 pm**

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything!!

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2017 4:41 pm**

Source: http://www.chemistryjokes.com/jokes/wha ... -attitude/

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2017 7:56 pm**

Once upon a time, mama bear and baby bear went swimming in the ocean. But once they got into the water, the baby bear started to worry because he was scared that he would drown(dissolve). Then mama bear said to the baby bear, "it's ok, we are not polar."

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 3:16 pm**

Two men walk into a bar. The first says I'll get some H2O. The second man says, I'll get Some H2O too..... drinks it and dies!

H2O2 = Hydrogen peroxide

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:21 pm**

What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you!

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:57 pm**

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:58 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:59 pm**

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2017 11:59 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:06 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:08 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:13 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:48 pm**

Dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:51 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:52 pm**

Im making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:54 pm**

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:15 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: NA

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:17 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:37 pm**

Are you Na because you are sodium cute

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:39 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite, he said NaBro

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:41 pm**

Two friends went to a bar and one of them said "may I have some H2O", and the other one said "may I have some H2O too" then he died

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:07 pm**

If a king farts is it a noble gas?

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:28 pm**

An elements letter to an ex:

I sulfur when you argon

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:55 pm**

What do you call a 1000 Planck constants?
A Planckton

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:18 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:19 pm**

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:50 pm**

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:51 pm**

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?
A: By subsisting on titrations.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:51 pm**

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:52 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Posted: **Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:53 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Posted: **Mon Jul 10, 2017 6:19 pm**

A photon walks into a hotel and the bellhop asks "Hey, you need help with your bags?" and the photon says "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

Posted: **Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:45 pm**

Q: Why doesn't anyone like wavelength?

A: Because it Hertz others!

Posted: **Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:46 pm**

Q: What do you call moles that go to church?

A: A Mole(r) Mass!

Posted: **Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:47 pm**

Q: How do your Neutrons feel about Dr. Lavelle's recent exam?

A: Neutral!

Posted: **Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:49 pm**

Q: Why is electron's favorite part of the day the light?

A: Light excites it!

Posted: **Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:31 pm**

: 954cb361299dbf962caaba2829ce6bd1--science-puns-chemistry-puns.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 15899 times

Cation has positive charge
Cat has paws (^._.^)ﾉ

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am**

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:06 am**

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:38 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:40 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:53 am**

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:53 am**

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:55 am**

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:56 am**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:23 pm**

I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones ARGON.

Posted: **Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:52 pm**

Q: What does one ion say to the other?
A: I've got an eye ion you.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:33 pm**

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:59 pm**

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:01 pm**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:19 pm**

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:33 pm**

what do you do with some dead chemists?
barium.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:36 pm**

what do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
a moler solution.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:39 pm**

if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:30 pm**

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:33 pm**

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:25 pm**

"You're a 10? Maybe on the PH scale because you're basic."

I thought this was hilarious xD

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:26 pm**

"I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon." :)

Posted: **Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:37 pm**

https://fthmb.tqn.com/NvhQ7m6ggjSwYgsQs ... o_upscale()/about/funny-science-meme-breaking-bad-58b5ae553df78cdcd89ec4b4.jpg

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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