Page 49 of 76

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:40 pm
by Yolandia Winn 1A
what do you get when you combine Helium, Yttrium, Selenium, and Xenon?

HeYSeXe :*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:41 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:42 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:42 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:43 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:59 pm
by 204580382
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:17 am
by plopezcordon_4C
I would tell a chemistry joke but I'm scared I won't get a reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:01 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
What do you call an oil afraid of water? Hydrophobe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:02 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
Protons assume they're right, they're positive about it!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:05 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
What did the detective base say during a difficult crime with little evidence?

"We need to go back to the bas(e)ics"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:11 pm
by Sarahi Cota-Felix 1C
Posted a chem joke on another section because I barely found this section. Sorry for the misplaced chem joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:22 pm
by Paul Wong1B
What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 8:53 am
by 604744616
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 1:59 pm
by Dabin Kang 1B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 11:05 am
by awidodo
What do you call a bear that dissolves in water?

A polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 1:57 pm
by 104730551
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 1:58 pm
by 104730551
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 1:59 pm
by 104730551
Q: What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
A: "Au revoir"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:00 pm
by 104730551
Q: What do you do with a dead chemists?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:10 pm
by 405060280
what did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"Hehe"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:11 pm
by 405060280
What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:11 pm
by 405060280
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:12 pm
by 405060280
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:12 pm
by 405060280
What did the detective base say during a difficult crime with little evidence?

"We need to go back to the bas(e)ics"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:13 pm
by 405060280
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:13 pm
by 405060280
protons assume they're right, they're positive about it!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:09 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:15 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: Is silicon the same in Spanish?
A: Si

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:17 pm
by Nancy 1B
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a drink.
The bartender replies "For you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:18 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:37 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: want to hear a joke about sodium
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date...
It was OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
The name is Bond.... Ionic Bond...
Taken, not shared

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:40 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Let's take all the bad jokes and "Barium"!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 9:10 pm
by 204580382

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 9:14 pm
by 204580382
i'd tell you a chemistry joke, but i know i wouldn't get a reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 9:15 pm
by 204580382
how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

Ask them to pronounce "unionised"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 9:16 pm
by 204580382
I tell bad chemistry jokes because at the good one are Ar (argon)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:31 pm
by Juan Liberato
Screen Shot 2017-07-23 at 10.18.17 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:33 pm
by Juan Liberato
umelwos3zb2y.jpg


Ba Dum tss I'll be here all summer!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:40 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Q: What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:41 pm
by Jaime Gutierrez 1B
Don't trust an atom They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:42 pm
by Jaime Gutierrez 1B
Technically, alcohol is a solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:42 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Q: What did the student say when she heard that Oxygen and Magnesium went out on a date?
A: OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:44 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
laughing gas= He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:44 pm
by Jaime Gutierrez 1B
Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:46 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
lost an electron?
You really have to keep an ion them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:47 pm
by Jaime Gutierrez 1B
All my chem jokes argon :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:56 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:56 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:57 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:57 pm
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:36 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
What do lone pairs have to be in order to be left alone?

Repulsive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:37 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
Why are electrons called "nancy"?
Because they're negative!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:39 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
Why does the electron like the day time?
The light excites him!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:40 pm
by Giselle Garcia 1B
Calcium likes to serenade Iron with Christina Aguilera's song "Bound to You"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:48 am
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:50 am
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q:Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:51 am
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q:What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:52 am
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:54 am
by Michelle Cisneros 1F
Q: How did carbon propose to
Hydrogen?
A: With a "carbonkneel"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:31 pm
by Paul Wong1B
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:52 pm
by 404768057
I make bad chemistry puns.... but only periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 3:00 pm
by JD Malana
-an inspired breakfast whilst studying for the final
IMG_0008.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 4:20 pm
by Sarahi Cota-Felix 1C
Hahaha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 4:22 pm
by Sarahi Cota-Felix 1C
I say yes!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 4:27 pm
by Sarahi Cota-Felix 1C
LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:30 pm
by 104730551
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:30 pm
by 104730551
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:30 pm
by 104730551
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:31 pm
by 104730551
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:26 pm
by Alma Cruz 1A
What do you call a fish that is only made up of two sodium atoms?

-2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:52 pm
by Amoreno Section 1E
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:37 pm
by 204580382
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:38 pm
by 204580382
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:38 pm
by 204580382
Distilled waters run the deepest

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:39 pm
by 204580382
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:36 pm
by 405060280
myself

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:37 pm
by 405060280
H2O is water, H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, H204 is drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:40 pm
by 405060280
A guy went to a bar with his friend and he said to the bartender, "may I have some H2O" and the other guy said, "May I have some H2O too." Then he dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:41 pm
by 405060280
oxygen and potassium went on a date and it went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:45 pm
by 504754253
what is a cation?

A. an ion with a paws-itive charger

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:47 pm
by 504754253
Q. what do you call an acid with an attitude?

A. A-Mean-oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:51 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Baby, I know chemistry and you've got one significant figure.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:53 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:54 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:54 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:55 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 12:10 am
by Alma Cruz 1A
"HCOONa...Matata, what a wonderful phrase" -The Lion King & Chemistry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:02 am
by ludrin8348
Aww :)

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:07 am
by ludrin8348
I can't stop laughing...

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:29 am
by hojae_lee_1C
I make bad jokes... but only periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:30 am
by hojae_lee_1C
What is a cation afraid of?
a dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:19 pm
by awidodo
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:23 pm
by awidodo
Q: What kind of dog does a chemist have?
A: Laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:24 pm
by awidodo
Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:05 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
My friend asked me if I know any good jokes about sodium.
I said, "Na."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:05 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:05 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.
The teacher said my effort was the best.

I nailed it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:06 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!