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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:07 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
If a king farts, it is called na Noble Gas

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:10 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
What don't you understand about copper? It makes perfect CENTS!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:10 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
Hey want to hear a joke about potassium?... K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:11 pm
by smuhammad1Section1E
What do you do to dead elements? You barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:46 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
"This is a salt" said the unwilling chlorine atom

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:53 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:54 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Also me in chem lecture

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:56 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:57 pm
by Cynthia Pinedo 1C
Ah! The element of surprise every time I understand something in chem.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 5:26 pm
by SalmaQ
https://goo.gl/images/1Emecf

More reasons to love trader joe's....."Avogadro makes mole and avocados make guacamole."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:27 pm
by tiffanyteguh1C
this thread is too long :((( and all the good chem jokes Argon(e).

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:33 pm
by altaing
Q: How did Avogadro get through the desert?

A: He rode a caMOLE!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:36 pm
by Rachel Min
What does a trendy, basic chemist eat for breakfast?

Avogadro Toast.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:29 pm
by skalvakota2H
Really, all the periodic table jokes argon?
I don't zinc so.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:31 pm
by Isaiah Little 1A 14B
I was gonna make a funny chemistry joke.
But they argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:51 pm
by Dayanara Ruiz
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 12:09 am
by Guillermo Nuno 1J
Cations are the best because they're just so Paws-itive... get it... CATions... no? Okay.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 12:15 am
by Guillermo Nuno 1J
By the way, Anions aren't negative... they're just misunderstood.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 10:10 am
by Misa Belser 3C
Chemists you have to keep an ion them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 5:04 pm
by kaushalrao2H
Q: What's a show that cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 7:17 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
What do you do if you can't helium or curium?

You BARIUM!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 2:44 pm
by Shannee Mak 3F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:04 pm
by Catherine Yang 3G
Why was the basic girl so salty? Because someone dumped acid on her!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:09 pm
by Mataeo Alvarado 1L
I was on the phone with my brother giving him directions on how to set up his new gaming system and all he would reply was "oxygen potassium". I asked over and over why he would not say anything else. He later on texted me a picture of a periodic table of elements. I replied "oxygen potassium" and promptly hung up. (OXYGEN "O" POTASSIUM "K"... OK)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:11 pm
by James Nguyen 3G
Technically, Alcohol is a solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 9:43 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 9:44 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 12:36 am
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a factory worker? Ask them to pronounce the word "unionized."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 12:38 am
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
Sorry, all the good jokes Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:43 am
by Radha Patel 1D
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 1:38 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel, and neon?
A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 1:43 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A 'gram' cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 9:51 pm
by Phillip Tran
Lmao these are pretty good

Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 10:57 am
by Courtney Cheney 3E
Atom 1: "I lost an electron!"
Atom 2: "Yeah, you really have to keep an ion them."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 3:13 pm
by Naama 1A
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:31 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:33 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"That was sodium funny"
"I slapped my neon that one" !

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:07 pm
by Suchita 2I
Scientist: I just boiled water
Me: solid
Scientist: no
Me: I just mean that's cool
Scientist: WRONG AGAIN

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:10 pm
by Suchita 2I
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
...
It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:27 pm
by 704887365
i make horrible chemistry puns, but only periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:45 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What did the thermometer say to the Graduated cylinder?

A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:50 pm
by Nancy 1B
"Ah! The element of surprise!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 8:00 pm
by Reyna Alonso 1E
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 10:25 pm
by Julian Krzysiak 2K
What's a graduate student's favorite element?

Alumni-um

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2017 10:55 pm
by Julian Krzysiak 2K
All these jokes were noble attempts, yet I didn't really react to any of them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 4:01 pm
by mayasinha1B
What do you call a glass of water with a tooth in it?

1 molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 4:03 pm
by mayasinha1B
If silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:48 pm
by Madeline Musselman 3H
Making bad chem jokes because all of them Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:56 pm
by Catherine Yang 3G
Who's a really salty rapper?
NaCl-more

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:04 am
by altaing
Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero?

I heard he's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:20 pm
by Andrea ORiordan 1L
Why do white bears dissolve in water? Because they're polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:42 pm
by Qining Jin 1F
"Susie, these past two years have been amazing, but recently, I just feel like I've been living a half life..."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:45 pm
by MichelleTran3I
Argon is tending the bar. Helium walks in.
Neither react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:46 pm
by MichelleTran3I
Did you hear about Oxygen and Magnesiym getting together?
I was like OMg!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:37 pm
by Phillip Tran
Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Because you're BeAuTi-ful ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 3:29 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
That was sodium funny.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 3:29 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
I slapped my neon that one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:49 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
What's the cutest ion out there?
A CAT-ion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:50 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
What do you call a King's fart?
Noble Gas

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:08 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
Helium Helium Helium... That was a great joke
(;

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 1:44 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
I don't trust atoms...

I hear they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:50 pm
by 904940852
Mom when she's mad: "I've got my ion you"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:13 pm
by Radha Patel 1D
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:24 pm
by Mariya S 3A
I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out...

And I was like, OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:26 pm
by Mariya S 3A
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 10:05 pm
by 704887365
Don't trust atoms. I've heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:16 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Helium walks into a bar,
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:17 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:20 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"My bank account has 1 sig fig".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:23 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:07 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Chemistry is just like cooking.
Just don't lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:31 pm
by Selene 1K
"I have many chemistry jokes. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:34 pm
by Selene 1K
"I'm a female. Fe=Iron. Male=Man. Therefore, I am Iron Man."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:46 pm
by Shannee Mak 3F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:12 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What show do cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:17 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:43 pm
by Sophia Bozone 2G
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:50 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:51 pm
by Sophia Bozone 2G
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine...
because all I can see is U and I

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:39 pm
by Abigail Volk 1F
"oh my gosh, I've lost a neutron"
"Don't worry; you can get a new one "free of charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:42 pm
by Abigail Volk 1F
Do you have 11 protons?
Because you are sodium fine ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:45 pm
by Abigail Volk 1F
I am out of chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:37 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2017 8:39 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:23 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:24 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They all have solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 11:18 pm
by Radha Patel 1D
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 11:19 pm
by 704887365
Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 11:20 pm
by 704887365
What element is a girl's future best friend? Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 11:24 pm
by Riya Pathare 2E
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

HARHARHAR

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 11:33 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 11:35 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises:
It becomes Daytrogen

When Nitrogen Goes to Bed:
"Good nitrogen! Sleep tightrogen! Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 12:50 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 12:51 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:58 am
by Rakhi Ratanjee 1D
Q: What did sodium tell chlorine when they met?
A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 7:23 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?
A: Guacamole

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 7:40 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 11:03 pm
by Reyna Alonso 1E
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:27 am
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"I have many chemistry jokes. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:28 am
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"OMG
Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium or a couple? "