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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 2:19 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 2:50 pm
by Madeline Guajardo 3J
Get it? HAHAHA...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 2:52 pm
by Annah Khan 1B
Q: what do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY

hahaha :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 3:27 pm
by Kiana_Shibata_2G
I know this discussion is meant for chemistry jokes, but I thought I would share a few chemistry pick up lines instead.

1) You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!
2) I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
3) Are you made of Beryllium, Gold, & Titanium because you're BE AU TI full.
4) If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 3:34 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
A proton and neutron walk into a bar and order two beers. The bartender comes back with two beers and asks the proton, "Are you sure that you're 21?" The proton replies, "I'm Positive!!" So the bartender gives him the first beer. The bartender then goes over to the neutron and says, "For you buddy, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:27 pm
by KatrineEyer_1E
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas.

This is also known as avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 6:51 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
why do chemists learn ammonia first?
it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 6:57 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
At least they tried...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:14 pm
by Ryan Petrecca 1L
I got all these good chemistry jokes, I'm scared they won't get a good reaction :'(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:16 pm
by Ryan Petrecca 1L
I asked a couple of my friends if they wanted to hear a good sodium joke. They said Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:19 pm
by Spencer Peterman 3E
What don't you understand about copper? It makes perfect cents.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:29 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
On a (pH) scale of one to fourteen, you're a fourteen, because you're basic!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 8:11 pm
by Kareem
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster? The one in Alaska obviously because it's polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 8:17 pm
by Mahta Marefat 1I
Are chemical workers unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:11 pm
by Colin Hayashi 1K
I did not write this original material, neither does Drake #ghostwriting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:34 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Jim: "Anyone know any good sodium jokes?"
Tim: "Na"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:42 pm
by Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K
I dont trust atoms....I HEARD THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:07 pm
by Selby Kia 1L
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:10 pm
by Navi Sidhu 1F
Here's another one from chemistry cat:
77f709c8f287427e8ede2d389350e4bbe5140eeb9ab1980d805e6894098fc47d.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:42 pm
by JudyPham_4J
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:45 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Q: What do you get when you cut an avocado (Avagadro) into 6 x 10^23 pieces?
A: GuacaMOLE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:51 pm
by David Sung 2H
Are you a neuron?

Cause you got lots of action potential!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:59 am
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
Proton: Hey, Electron! It's Proton. Where are you?!

Electron: Hi there! Well, ya see... That's a hard question for me to answer.

Proton: Why is it a hard question? Just tell me!

Electron: It's difficult for me to answer because I can only tell you where I PROBABLY am.

Proton: :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:26 am
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
I will always know the noble gases because of that one episode of Drake and Josh.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:42 am
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
A chemistry lab is like a big party. Some drop acid, and others drop the base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:48 am
by Yasmine Choroomi 2C
i wish your name was avagadro...because then i would already know your number ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 12:48 pm
by Lyndon_Bui_3J
What do you call a tooth in a cup of water?

A one molar solution!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 1:01 pm
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
Once I told a chemistry joke....
There was no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:11 pm
by Tom Notcovich 3B
How did the chemist get in prison?

He was charged with a salt and battery

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:04 pm
by GevickSafarians_14B
Funny stuff right here ...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:40 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:48 pm
by Deen Tar
The name's Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:36 pm
by KoSiOg
I have many chemistry jokes
I'm just afraid when I say them I won't get a good reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 7:13 pm
by Haoqing Li 3E
Lol this is true

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:52 pm
by Rachel Ma
Why are chemists great for solving problems?

They have all the solutions!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:05 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
You're a 10!
...On the pH scale because you're basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:38 pm
by hfrazer1B
If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed!
*diss track*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:45 pm
by Raymond_Guan_1H
Did you hear the rumor that Sodium was dating Chloride?

Na, I would take that rumor with a grain of salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:02 am
by Hung_Sabrina_3N
*When you dilute a solution*
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:18 am
by Joshua Song 2M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:24 am
by Shelby Slaughter 3D
I heard they're starting a whole new chem channel devoted to as xenon tv products.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:15 pm
by Khang_Tran_1O
Lost an electron?

Better keep anion it ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:08 pm
by TramHo2G
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:43 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
9. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:05 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
This is the greatest chemistry joke of all time.

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:30 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:02 pm
by Calvin Huang 3D
My friend asked if I was salty that I failed my chem quiz, I said
"Na bro."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:37 pm
by alvitaxiao
I blew up my chemistry experiment... oxidants happen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 11:49 pm
by Preet_Bains_1D
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon lolololololol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:37 am
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
What are bananas made out of?

Potassi-YUM

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:58 am
by 804780590
I think I left the Bromine and Boron in the cabinet... BrB.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:52 am
by Emily_Bloom_1I
What is a cation afraid of?




A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:31 am
by Samart_Condon_1D
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:08 am
by Sebastian
Do you know why I have to post bad chemistry jokes? It's because all of the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:19 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
Did you hear potassium went on a date with oxygen? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:37 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
What did the other elements say when gold left?
Au revoir!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 2:09 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 2:34 pm
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
"I got my ion you!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 2:44 pm
by JulieLy_3C
I asked my friend if Silicon was spelled the same in Spanish and she said "Si".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:45 pm
by Ashley T 2H
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of sodas. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:06 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:09 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:11 pm
by Minh_Le_3I
what-did-the-angry-electron-say-when-it-was-repelled.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:16 pm
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
Are you NaOH...
cause you're hella BASIC?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:56 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
Guys, you know what my favorite element on the periodic table is?

Laurencium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:35 pm
by SarahTian3k
The name's Bond.
Ionic Bond.
Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:22 pm
by Megan_McElfish_3D
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H20. The other says, "I'll take H2O too." The second man dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:49 pm
by Claire Vandenberg 4L
*photon checks into a hotel*
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 11:26 am
by Tanner Baroni 3I
Once I tried telling a chemistry joke....
There was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:17 pm
by Molika Soben_3J
These are somewhat depressing...

What do you do with a dead chemist?
-Barium

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite and he said "NaBrO"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:24 pm
by Lisbeth Hernandez3L
Got Mole Problems?
Call Avogadro at 602-1023!

Chemistry Joke

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:40 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:47 pm
by AllanNicholson2F
*photon checks into a hotel*
Bellhop: "Do you need help with your bags?"
Photon: "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:18 pm
by Luigivar 2F
If a king farts,

is it a noble gas?

*badum tss*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:27 pm
by Grace_McAuley_1E
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:34 pm
by Jand474
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it is pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:53 pm
by Dan_Jin_1K
So two friends walk into a bar, and one friend says "I'll have an H2O." The other friend says "I'll have an H2O too".

Both friends drink their beverages and the second one dies unfortunately, because the second friend asked for H2O2, which is hydrogen peroxide :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 4:58 pm
by Diana Catapusan 1N
Do you have 11 protons?

Because you're SO-DIUM fine!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 5:41 pm
by Xinyi_Yan_3L
IMG_2037.jpg
I saw this on Facebook. It's so funny.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:14 pm
by paulapedrani
FullSizeRender.jpg
There was a raid and the theme was "James Bond and Legally Blonde"... guess who the science majors are lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:52 pm
by Mason Henrich 3J
What do you call a tooth in glass of water?

A one MOLAR solution

HAHA :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:22 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 9:44 pm
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
I'm trying to zinc of a good chemistry joke but it seems like all of the good ones argon. ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:50 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
......

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:55 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs an help with his luggage.
He replies " No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:16 am
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Cu+ = "I lost an electron :( "
Cu = "Are you positive ??"
*ba dum tsss*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:19 am
by Swati_Sharma_2D
How often do I make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:36 am
by Marisa_Woo_2G
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air. :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:38 am
by AngelaWang_1F
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "we dont serve noble gases here." Helium doesnt react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:09 am
by JAC_2016
chemistry-jokes-tumblr-217.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:11 pm
by Kelsey Jug 1J
What is the chemical formula for coffee?

CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:17 pm
by Lucy Nakashima 1E
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:29 pm
by Tania_Torres_3O
What do you call cheese infused in sodium bicarbonate?

NaCHO3 Cheese

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:30 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:29 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
When cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask, tell them you don't know how fast you were going, just where you were.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:46 pm
by Natalie Hunt 1E
Q: What did the chemist say when he found 2 new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:10 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:14 pm
by Sarah_Kremer_1A
What do you call a clown who is in jail?
A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:24 pm
by Wesley_Rugen_1E
Chemists...

You have to keep an ion them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:34 pm
by Christian Gequillo 1D
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

A: He was booked for a salt and battery.