Page 51 of 76

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:31 am
by Selene 1K
"Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in ground state."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:32 am
by Selene 1K
"The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:42 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
I can't post any chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:47 pm
by Lily Guo 1D
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:25 pm
by Kendall Schemmer 1I
Why is Polonium the grumpiest element?

Because it's always Po'ed!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:32 pm
by altaing
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: One molar solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 7:35 pm
by tiffanyteguh1C
I don't trust atoms...

I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:25 pm
by Abdullah2I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:49 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:29 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas. One might even call it Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:42 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
20993812_1112018582266931_3151348490666281994_n.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:07 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What element derives from a Norse [censored]?
Thorium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:09 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:49 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: You BARIUM!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 3:51 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 3:53 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:17 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
You must be Copper and Tellurium because you are so CuTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 6:47 pm
by 704887365
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 6:49 pm
by 704887365
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 7:06 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
I asked a friend for some Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 7:10 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Sorry...

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 7:12 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 7:26 pm
by Kennedy Moore 1D
What do you get when you have 10^-12 of Gallo?


Pico De Gallo >:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:40 pm
by Phillip Tran
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:41 pm
by Phillip Tran
What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:52 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:52 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:38 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
I try to tell chemistry jokes,
but there is no reaction :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:38 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
I don't trust atoms... they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:59 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he farted?
A: Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:02 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: What did the cow say to Molybdenum and Oxygen?
A: MoO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:23 pm
by Thompson W 2C
My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.
That's a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:27 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
A: 2NA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:47 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"Don't drink water while studying. Because chemistry says that concentration decreased on adding water".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:47 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"Drop the base".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:59 pm
by Alyssa Parry Disc 1H
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:02 am
by Alyssa Parry Disc 1H
Q: I heard oxygen And magnesium were going out
A: And I was like OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:49 am
by Derek Waters 1A
Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:05 pm
by Maya Krishnan 3E
kim k sig fig.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:09 pm
by Amy Zheng 2l
what happened to all the chemistry jokes? they're argon(all gone) hahahah

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:01 am
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:18 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
I'm a female:
Fe= Iron
Male= Man
Therefore, I am iron man!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:20 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
How sure was that nucleus when he lost that electron?
--- He was positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:41 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
counter meme chem .jpg
Sorry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:46 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Sorry again

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:57 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
Little Johnny ain't going to drink no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:59 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:32 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: What two elements do sheep belt when happy
A: BaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:33 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:18 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:19 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:21 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:57 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:58 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:48 am
by StephanieDoan3B
(Not exactly a joke but a cheeky pickup line)
Can I steal an electron so you can be my +1 to _____?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 1:16 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What do you do if you can't helium?

A: You BARIUM!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:02 pm
by Radha Patel 1D
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:03 pm
by Radha Patel 1D
Baby, I know chemistry...

and you’ve got one significant figure.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:09 pm
by 704887365
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:11 pm
by 704887365
I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out.
I was like OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:11 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"OMG
Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a couple?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:12 pm
by Brittnie Tapia 1K
"We have so much chemistry together"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:09 pm
by Maya Krishnan 3E
When you are as stable as a Nobel gas
Screen Shot 2017-11-05 at 5.04.55 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:23 pm
by Kendall Schemmer 1I
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?

Because you're CuTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:04 pm
by Derek Waters 1A
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:12 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero?
Don't worry, he's 0k.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:13 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:32 pm
by Selene 1K
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

(courtesy of Inorganic Ventures Joke Section)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:34 pm
by Selene 1K
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

(courtesy of Inorganic Ventures Joke Section)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:41 pm
by Shannee Mak 3F
Why do white bears dissolve in water?

Because they're polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:49 pm
by Phillip Tran
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:54 pm
by Phillip Tran
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:26 pm
by Kristina Nguyen 1C
Derek Waters 1A wrote:Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

Thats so funny!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:12 pm
by JamesAntonios 1E
Chemists never die. They just reach equilibrium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:39 pm
by Riya Pathare 2E
Im bad at telling chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 9:50 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
What did the scientist say when he found 2 atoms of helium?


HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:22 pm
by ssthirkannad
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:24 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:25 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:26 pm
by ssthirkannad
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:55 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Yup

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:29 am
by VahagnAldzhyan
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:55 pm
by 904940852
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retreavers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:56 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
Did you hear oxygen and potassium went on a date? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:58 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
Not even a week later, oxygen and magnesium went out. OMg.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:06 pm
by Radha Patel 1D
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:36 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met .

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:36 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:02 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
(H2O2) get it haha
(hydrogen peroxide)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:02 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:40 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 3:41 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:17 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:06 pm
by Derek Waters 1A
This is me

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:45 pm
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
What can eat a lot of iron without getting sick?

Rust

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:46 pm
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
I am a [censored], a planet, and I can measure heat? What am I?

Mercury

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:57 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: Because he got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:57 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:33 am
by 704887365
What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:34 am
by 704887365
What do you call an acid with attitude?
a-MEAN-o acid