CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:01 pm**

What do you call a salty fish?
2NA

Posted: **Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:45 pm**

"The name's bond. Sigma bond."
-007

Posted: **Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:56 am**

A photon checks into a hotel. The manager at the front desks asks if he will be needing any help with luggage. The photon replies "no thank you I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:22 pm**

I don't trust atoms... they make up everything.

Posted: **Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:24 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:13 am**

Guys, we gotta stop with the puns... We've all sulfured enough...

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:58 am**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:19 pm**

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon :(

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:22 pm**

How does Iron Man freshen up his apartment?
With some Fe-breeze

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:48 pm**

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:50 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
if you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:38 pm**

Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:39 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:32 pm**

A chemistry lab is just like a party. Some drop acid, others drop the base.

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:24 pm**

Aren't you all glad we have this chemistry community forum? It makes 14A less of a cheMYSTERY for us all :)

Posted: **Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:26 pm**

These jokes are sodium funny!

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:08 am**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:10 am**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:24 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

laboratory dogs ;)

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:24 pm**

Na: That was sodium funny

Ne: I slapped my neon that one

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:37 pm**

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:40 pm**

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
CaNiNe

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:48 pm**

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium are together?

OMg

Posted: **Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:50 pm**

I want to tell another chemistry joke but all the good ones arsenic.

Did I funny right?

Posted: **Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:14 pm**

If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:17 pm**

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:33 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:47 am**

@all these jokes

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:49 am**

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:56 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:57 pm**

why do chemists like nitrates so much?
they're cheaper than dayrates.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:56 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:56 pm**

What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:21 pm**

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one Jim says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one Bob says "I think I'll have an H2O too"... and then Bob died.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:12 pm**

Q: How often do you joke about the elements?
A: Periodically.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:27 pm**

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:14 pm**

Chemists are just one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:09 pm**

Polar bear: Help! Help! I'm dissolving!
Brown bear: But bears are insoluble...
Polar bear: That's easy for you to say...You're not polar!

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:19 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:31 pm**

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:32 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Posted: **Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:56 pm**

What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

Posted: **Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:56 pm**

I don't trust atoms....they make up everything

Posted: **Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:59 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:43 pm**

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar

Posted: **Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:44 pm**

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:55 am**

In Arctic, a bear drop into the lake and looking for help:
"HELP, i'm dissolving"
Another brown bear get there and explains:
"dude, bears are insoluble"
....
"That's easy for you to say, you are not polar....."

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:06 pm**

Proton: "I think I lost an electron"

Neutron: "Are you positive?"

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:14 pm**

What kind of fish is made up of only 2 sodium atoms?
2Na

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:28 pm**

Why can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:00 am**

What do you call a clown who's in jail? A silicon.

Posted: **Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:00 am**

What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:26 pm**

What fish is made of two atoms? 2Na

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:33 pm**

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel, and neon?
A CaNiNe

Posted: **Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:34 pm**

What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon (Silly Con)

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:23 pm**

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:24 pm**

ba-dum tss

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:39 pm**

One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:40 pm**

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:41 pm**

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:42 pm**

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:51 pm**

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:53 pm**

I told a joke to a guy named Helium to get him to share his electrons but he didn't react.

He He He

Posted: **Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:53 pm**

What's Uranium's favorite genre of music?

Death metal. (They love listening to it on the radio)

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:22 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:22 am**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:10 pm**

This relationship is as flexible as a sigma bond.

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:15 pm**

Q:Are my jokes too basic for you?
A: Why is there no reaction?

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:17 pm**

My Chemistry Professor throw sodium chloride at me...
that's a salt!

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 7:54 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:00 pm**

What TV show do Cesium and Iodine love watching together?
CSI!

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:20 pm**

Roses are red,
Bromothymol is blue.
There is no endpoint,
To my love for you.

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:02 pm**

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel, and neon?
A CaNiNe

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:03 pm**

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? OH SNaP!

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:24 pm**

Q: Did you know protons have a mass?
A: I didn't even know they were catholic!

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:25 pm**

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:31 pm**

Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

A: Because it was polar!

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:56 pm**

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:09 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:57 am**

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're pretty CuTe

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:17 pm**

What is your LiFe composed of?

-Lithium and iron

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:23 pm**

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:24 pm**

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 11:23 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Nov 27, 2017 11:24 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:08 am**

Joke: Chemist 1: Did you know they discovered a new element?
Chemist 2: No, what's it called?
Chemist 1: It's symbol is Ah.
Chemist 2: Oh... The element of surprise.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:11 am**

What is the formula for water?

H I J K L M N O.

H2O!!

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:18 am**

I'm out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:20 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:31 pm**

I made a chemistry joke. It got no reaction.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:32 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:24 pm**

How does a photon avoid paying United economy bag fees?

It always is traveling light.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:36 pm**

Me, every time I draw a lewis structure

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:39 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron asks how much the drink was, the bartender replies "For you, no charge".

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:38 pm**

You're a 10? On the pH scale, maybe.
Cuz you basic.

Posted: **Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:39 pm**

When it comes to chemistry puns I'm in my element.

Posted: **Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:01 pm**

I hated learning about electrons. I got so Bohr'd

Posted: **Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:03 pm**

When cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask, tell them you don't know how fast you were going, just where you were

Posted: **Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:23 pm**

Well, do you want to hear about a sodium joke?
Na.
How about a joke about sodium Hypobromite?
NaBro.

Posted: **Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:24 pm**

A chemist blew up an experiment, looked at his students, and said, "Well, Oxidants happen!"

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