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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:01 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
What do you call a salty fish?
2NA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:45 pm
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
"The name's bond. Sigma bond."
-007

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:56 am
by Liam Maxwell 2E
A photon checks into a hotel. The manager at the front desks asks if he will be needing any help with luggage. The photon replies "no thank you I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:22 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
I don't trust atoms... they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:24 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:13 am
by altaing
Guys, we gotta stop with the puns... We've all sulfured enough...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:58 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?


A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:19 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:22 pm
by mitalisharma2B
How does Iron Man freshen up his apartment?
With some Fe-breeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:48 pm
by Isabella Zizolfi 2F
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:50 pm
by Isabella Zizolfi 2F
What do you do with a sick chemist?
if you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:38 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:39 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:32 pm
by VahagnAldzhyan
A chemistry lab is just like a party. Some drop acid, others drop the base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 9:24 pm
by Minie 1G
Aren't you all glad we have this chemistry community forum? It makes 14A less of a cheMYSTERY for us all :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:26 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
These jokes are sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:08 am
by ssthirkannad
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:10 am
by ssthirkannad
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:24 pm
by nanditasundarapandian1D
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

laboratory dogs ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:24 pm
by nanditasundarapandian1D
Na: That was sodium funny

Ne: I slapped my neon that one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:37 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:40 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:48 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium are together?

OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:50 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
I want to tell another chemistry joke but all the good ones arsenic.

Did I funny right?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:14 pm
by tiffanyteguh1C
If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:17 pm
by tiffanyteguh1C
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:33 pm
by Reyna Alonso 1E
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:47 am
by Evelyn L 1H
@all these jokes

f0cb1d66732f2d9699542547f6a585d2.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:49 am
by Evelyn L 1H
6986e94d6b8b81af3b049a51ced46e66.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:56 pm
by 704887365
Did you know that you can cool yourself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:57 pm
by 704887365
why do chemists like nitrates so much?
they're cheaper than dayrates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:56 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:56 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:21 pm
by Madeline Musselman 3H
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one Jim says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one Bob says "I think I'll have an H2O too"... and then Bob died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:12 pm
by Selene 1K
Q: How often do you joke about the elements?
A: Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 5:27 pm
by Selene 1K
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:14 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Chemists are just one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:09 pm
by Suchita 2I
Polar bear: Help! Help! I'm dissolving!
Brown bear: But bears are insoluble...
Polar bear: That's easy for you to say...You're not polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:19 pm
by Chris Pleman 3E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:31 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:32 pm
by Nancy 1B
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 11:56 pm
by Shannee Mak 3F
What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:56 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
I don't trust atoms....they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:59 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:43 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:44 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:55 am
by Yeyang Zu 2J
In Arctic, a bear drop into the lake and looking for help:
"HELP, i'm dissolving"
Another brown bear get there and explains:
"dude, bears are insoluble"
....
"That's easy for you to say, you are not polar....."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:06 pm
by mayasinha1B
Proton: "I think I lost an electron"

Neutron: "Are you positive?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:14 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What kind of fish is made up of only 2 sodium atoms?
2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:28 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:00 am
by ssthirkannad
What do you call a clown who's in jail? A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:00 am
by ssthirkannad
What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:26 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
What fish is made of two atoms? 2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:33 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel, and neon?
A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:34 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon (Silly Con)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:23 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Zing

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:24 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
ba-dum tss

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:39 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:40 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:41 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 6:42 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:51 pm
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:53 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
I told a joke to a guy named Helium to get him to share his electrons but he didn't react.

He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:53 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
What's Uranium's favorite genre of music?

Death metal. (They love listening to it on the radio)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:22 am
by Misa Belser 3C
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:22 am
by Misa Belser 3C
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:10 pm
by Maya Krishnan 3E
This relationship is as flexible as a sigma bond.
Screen Shot 2017-11-26 at 2.08.41 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:15 pm
by Selene 1K
Q:Are my jokes too basic for you?
A: Why is there no reaction?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:17 pm
by Selene 1K
My Chemistry Professor throw sodium chloride at me...
that's a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 7:54 pm
by Derek Waters 1A
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:00 pm
by Naama 1A
What TV show do Cesium and Iodine love watching together?
CSI!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:20 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Roses are red,
Bromothymol is blue.
There is no endpoint,
To my love for you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:02 pm
by 704887365
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel, and neon?
A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:03 pm
by 704887365
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:24 pm
by Nancy 1B
Q: Did you know protons have a mass?
A: I didn't even know they were catholic!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:25 pm
by Nancy 1B
chemistry-jokes-are-sodium-funny.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:31 pm
by altaing
Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

A: Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:56 pm
by Shannee Mak 3F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:09 am
by Lourick Bustamante 1B
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:57 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're pretty CuTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:17 pm
by Lauryn Jordan 1F
What is your LiFe composed of?

-Lithium and iron

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:23 pm
by Phillip Tran
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:24 pm
by Phillip Tran
What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 11:23 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 11:24 pm
by mitalisharma2B
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:08 am
by ssthirkannad
Joke: Chemist 1: Did you know they discovered a new element?
Chemist 2: No, what's it called?
Chemist 1: It's symbol is Ah.
Chemist 2: Oh... The element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:11 am
by ssthirkannad
What is the formula for water?

H I J K L M N O.

H2O!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:18 am
by JamesAntonios 1E
I'm out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:20 pm
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:31 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
I made a chemistry joke. It got no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 3:32 pm
by Misa Belser 3C
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:24 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
How does a photon avoid paying United economy bag fees?

It always is traveling light.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:36 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Me, every time I draw a lewis structure

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 4:39 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron asks how much the drink was, the bartender replies "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:38 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
You're a 10? On the pH scale, maybe.
Cuz you basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:39 pm
by Mila Therese Reyes 1E
When it comes to chemistry puns I'm in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:01 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
I hated learning about electrons. I got so Bohr'd

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:03 pm
by Jazmine Salazar
When cops pull you over, just do what Heisenberg does. When they ask, tell them you don't know how fast you were going, just where you were

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:23 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Well, do you want to hear about a sodium joke?
Na.
How about a joke about sodium Hypobromite?
NaBro.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:24 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
A chemist blew up an experiment, looked at his students, and said, "Well, Oxidants happen!"