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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:51 pm
by Wenxin Fan 1J
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?


A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:23 pm
by Seth So
H2O too - Imgur.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:25 pm
by Seth So
e429c08a5597272dc3d769b939805deb.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:36 pm
by Seth So
My teacher threw sodium chloride at me...

That's a salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:42 pm
by Phillip Tran
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:44 pm
by Phillip Tran
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:50 pm
by Phillip Tran
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

At least I have a degree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:44 am
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:39 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:40 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:49 pm
by RohanGupta1G
If you aren't apart of the solution, you're apart of the precipitate

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:05 pm
by 904940852
You can’t trust atoms, they make everything up

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:06 pm
by 904940852
Did you hear about the man that got cold down to absolute zero?
He’s oK now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:08 pm
by 904940852
I had to make this bad chemistry joke because all the good ones argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:17 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What element derives from a Norse [censored] ?
Thorium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:18 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What show do Cesium and Iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:19 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Don't tell jokes to noble gases

You'll get no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:23 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
I would never try to poison you...

Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:39 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
post

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
What kind of dog do chemists have?





A laboratory retriever.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
post

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm
by Karen Zheng_2H
post

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:29 pm
by Annie Lieu-1H
i love chemicals

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:39 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
What did the chemist say to his crush?
You're hotter than a Bunsen burner turned up all the way.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:38 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:40 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
“There’s as many versions of the second law as there are thermodynamicists.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:41 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
All things, including my room, move from a state of order to disorder...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:44 pm
by Caitlin Mispagel 1D
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:49 pm
by Caitlin Mispagel 1D
post

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:13 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:18 pm
by Karissa Newberry
How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:24 pm
by juchung7
What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:42 pm
by juchung7
Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? A: BaNaNa!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2018 9:29 pm
by aTirumalai-1I
Here's a haiku on Aluminum:

Spent kindergarten
endlessly writing your name.
One i or two i's?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:15 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:53 pm
by Meghna2A
Two chemist walk into a pub.
The first chemist rings for the bartender and says " I will have H2O"
The second chemist asks " Why would you order water like that? We aren't at work anymore"

The first chemist later sits in an empty corner crying. His attempt to kill the other chemist was thwarted.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:57 pm
by Meghna2A
What did Chloride say when dragged by sodium?
"This is a salt"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:58 pm
by Meghna2A
I try to tell Chemistry Jokes. But there is no Reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:31 pm
by ssthirkannad
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:32 pm
by ssthirkannad
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:33 pm
by ssthirkannad
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:33 pm
by ssthirkannad
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:34 pm
by ssthirkannad
What's new?
C over lambda

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:35 pm
by ssthirkannad
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:28 am
by Paula Sing 1J
enhanced-buzz-21809-1348972160-3.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:18 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:39 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
I'm reading a chemistry book about helium.
I can't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:02 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:54 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:54 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 8:05 pm
by LMendoza 2I
If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:49 pm
by Seth So
PIC1.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:50 pm
by Seth So
PIC2.jpg
PIC2.jpg (18.17 KiB) Viewed 2292 times
PIC2.jpg
PIC2.jpg (18.17 KiB) Viewed 2292 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:51 pm
by Seth So
PIC3.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:00 am
by Sara Sasaki 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:02 am
by Sara Sasaki 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 6:25 pm
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train conductor?

Have them read "unionized"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2018 7:43 pm
by Liz White 1K
The base is under a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 12:09 am
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:49 am
by Tiffany 1B
"Thermodynamics just gets me so q-ed"
-Frustrated chem students everywhere

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:17 pm
by Arjun Sharma 1D
Met this girl in my calculus class; funny thing is we ended up having chemistry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Q: What is the chemical formula for candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:44 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:45 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:04 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A: A-mean-oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:34 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:35 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:35 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:18 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
WHy do Chemists likE niTraTes so MucH?

CUz They'rE cheAper thAn DayRatES!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:30 pm
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Party hard in the summer, they said. So I decided to drop the base on them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:31 pm
by Josh Moy 1H
An electron went on a date, it was electric

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:53 pm
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Chemistry Pickup Line:

Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element. ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:54 pm
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Chemistry Pickup Line:

You’re like an exothermic reaction—you spread hotness everywhere.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:23 am
by 904940852
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They are cheaper than day rates

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:24 am
by 904940852
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:26 am
by cbercik
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:27 am
by cbercik
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:32 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:34 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:34 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 4:10 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 4:12 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:34 pm
by mhuang 1E
I'd tell a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a rxn.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 8:40 pm
by JamesAntonios 1E
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:14 pm
by Jennifer Ho 1K
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:37 pm
by rkusampudi
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:39 pm
by rkusampudi
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:39 pm
by rkusampudi
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:51 pm
by Liz White 1K
chemistry_joke_poster-r4f307c8a4a094e24b2bf07f8fcd1e116_wvk_8byvr_324.jpg
chemistry_joke_poster-r4f307c8a4a094e24b2bf07f8fcd1e116_wvk_8byvr_324.jpg (24.98 KiB) Viewed 2158 times

heheheheheheheh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:56 pm
by Paula Sing 1J
heheheheheheh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 1:01 am
by Jennifer Ho 1K
"Do you know what Sin City is?"
"Yeah, that's Las Vegas."
"Well, do you know what Den City is?"
"No."
"Mass over Volume."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:57 am
by Carl Kim 1K
What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am
by Carl Kim 1K
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am
by Carl Kim 1K
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:06 am
by Brenda K 1J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."