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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:48 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:50 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A: A sulfone

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:50 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:50 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:51 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Why did the noble gas cry? A: Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:51 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym? A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:15 pm
by cbercik
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:16 pm
by cbercik
Organic chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:17 pm
by cbercik
What do you call a scientific plant?
Chemis-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:17 pm
by cbercik
Why do you go to jail for throwing Sodium Chloride at somebody?
Because it's a salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:43 am
by 904940852
Your a 10? Maybe on a pH scale because your basic

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:49 am
by 504754253
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:51 am
by 504754253
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:55 am
by 504754253
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:19 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:20 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:21 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
It went OK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:21 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:21 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:22 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:22 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:22 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:29 pm
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
What did the Fe2+ say to the H+ that turned into H2?

"I'm sorry I reduced you! I swear it was an oxidant!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:31 pm
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
I try to tell chemistry jokes, but sometimes there's just no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:03 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
My teacher threw sodium chloride at me...

That's a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:05 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
What did element 29 say to the police?

I Cu copper!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:08 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
True story

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:56 pm
by Seth So

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:57 pm
by Seth So

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:57 pm
by Seth So

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:12 pm
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:15 pm
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Since, Valentine's Day is coming up, here's a nice Chemistry Pick-Up Line

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:37 pm
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
Thermodynamics:

First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.

Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.

Third Law: You can't break even.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:38 pm
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
The first rule of thermodynamics is you don't talk about thermodynamics

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:40 pm
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
What is the show cesium and iodine were watching together?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:40 pm
by Oscar Valdovinos 1I
Aha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:56 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Did you hear? Oxygen and Magnesium are totally going out. It's like, OMg.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:57 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:57 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:05 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What do you do if you can't helium or curium?

A: You BARIUM!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:56 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:57 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
why do chemists like nitrates so much?

because its cheaper than day rates

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:59 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?

WATER

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:11 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:12 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:42 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they would be alloys

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:30 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:31 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:31 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:04 pm
by Phillip Tran
what do you call a wheel made of iron?

a ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:05 pm
by Phillip Tran
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:09 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:11 pm
by Phillip Tran
what did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

mitosis

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:45 pm
by mitalisharma2B
All the good chemistry jokes ARGON

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:49 pm
by mitalisharma2B
All the good chemistry jokes ARGON

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:15 pm
by Brenda K 1J
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:16 pm
by Brenda K 1J
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:31 pm
by Brenda K 1J
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 10:42 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
It's so exciting when multiple electrons gather in the bar.
Why?
Because it's so charged with energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:50 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:51 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
A photon goes through a hotel. They offer to take his bags. He says he has none, he's traveling light.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:51 pm
by Meghna2A
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0[i][i][i]K?[/i][/i][/i]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:52 pm
by Meghna2A
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:52 pm
by Meghna2A
Q:What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:59 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
What happened to the man who froze to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:42 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Electron: I have a problem man. I think I might be a compulsive liar...
Proton: Are you positive?
Electron: Yeah.
Proton: I guess you are a liar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:49 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
"What's the difference between a proton and an electron?"
"I'm not positive, but I think a proton is..."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:55 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
"Want to talk about Sodium?"
----Na.
"Nitric Oxide?"
----NO.
"Oxygen, Magnesium, Phosphorous, Iodine, Sulfur, or Fluorine?"
----OMg PIS OFF.
"...Potassium?"
----K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 1:18 am
by juchung7
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
It becomes daytrogen :3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:29 pm
by Clara Rehmann 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:48 pm
by Yashaswi Dis 1K
Disclaimer: A Corny Acid-Base joke
What did H2PO4- say to H2O?

"Why you gotta be so BiPoLaAr!"

Water: "As an amphoteric molecule, I like to have multiple affairs!"

H2PO4-: "Can't believe I am dating a weirdo."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:56 pm
by Yashaswi Dis 1K
I heard O-chem is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:40 am
by Arjun Sharma 1D
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:44 am
by Arjun Sharma 1D
f H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 8:33 am
by ChristineJimenez1J
What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 8:34 am
by ChristineJimenez1J
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:13 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday...

It was such a silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:14 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Chemical jokes are boron…

However, physics jokes have potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:17 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Gold walks into a bar, but the barman wasn't having it.

"Au", he shouts, "get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:53 pm
by Annie Lieu-1H
NUMBER 5 ON THE MID TERM AMIRITE LADIES??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:07 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
All the good chemistry jokes Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:11 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Aha! The element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:13 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Are you a carbon sample? Cuz I want to date you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:58 pm
by Seth So
friend: "does you know any good chem jokes about sodium?"

me: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:59 pm
by Seth So
why are chemists great for solving problems?

a: they have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:00 am
by Seth So
I think i've lost an electron... in fact i'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2018 8:17 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2018 8:17 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2018 8:17 am
by Richard Braun 1I
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:33 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Old Chemists Never Die, They Just Reach Equilibrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 2:54 pm
by Caitlin Mispagel 1D
You would think atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 2:55 pm
by Caitlin Mispagel 1D
You can freeze yourself at -273 degrees celsius and still be 0K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:33 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:49 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:50 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:18 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
What kind of dogs would chemistry teachers have?
Laboratory retrievers!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:27 pm
by Katie Blann 1E
Did you know you can your cool yourself to -273.15C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:56 pm
by Tiffany 1B
Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone?
-He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:19 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
Once I told a chemistry joke
There was no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:22 pm
by Daniel Vo 1B
If a tornado picks up an iron, is it Febreeze?