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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 2:11 pm
by Ishan Saha 1L
Hey are you made of Curium and Tellurium??
'Cause dang you're CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:21 pm
by Jennie Fox 1D
what kind of dogs do chemists have?

Labratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:27 pm
by K Stefanescu 2I
Since we are studying half-life/radioactivity....
Are you Polonium-210?
Because your ambient glow is to die for.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:31 pm
by K Stefanescu 2I
Coming up with new material for this thread is difficult... all of the good chemistry jokes Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:45 pm
by Tiffany 1B
What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa^2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:50 pm
by Tiffany 1B
If Avagadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:44 pm
by andrewr2H
What do you call a fish that is really salty?

Too Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 9:50 pm
by Adrienne Dang 1B
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Hehe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:44 pm
by 504754253
what kind of dog do chemist have? laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:45 pm
by 504754253
what kind of car do chemist drive? mercedes benzene

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:46 pm
by 504754253
how come every time i tell a joke there is no reaction?!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:16 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
504754253 wrote:how come every time i tell a joke there is no reaction?!


good one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:16 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:19 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
504754253 wrote:what kind of car do chemist drive? mercedes benzene


That was sodium funny...i slapped my neon that one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:19 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
The atom asks the electron, "why are you small?" The electron replies, "because I have a low charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:18 pm
by mitalisharma2B
You Must Be A Compound Of Barium and Beryllium

Because you're a total BaBe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:18 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Why Does Hamburger Yield Lower Energy Than Steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:19 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Did You Know Protons Have Mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 3:58 pm
by Garret G 2F
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:53 pm
by Arjun Sharma 1D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:54 pm
by Arjun Sharma 1D
Organic Chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:56 pm
by Arjun Sharma 1D
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

Cause they work with all the solutions ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 11:50 pm
by Anna Goldberg 2I
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 9:44 am
by Nisarg Shah 1C
What kind of fish is made of 2 Na atoms?
2Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:24 am
by Leanne Wong 1H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 11:39 am
by Riya Pathare 2E
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:08 pm
by JennyCKim1J
I have a pick up line instead.
"You must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe :))"

Actually don't use it I don't think it'll work

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 6:05 pm
by 905022356
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 6:11 pm
by 905022356
If you're not part of the solution,

.
.
.
.


You're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:01 am
by Richard Braun 1I
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:02 am
by Richard Braun 1I
A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing. "We've been observing water under the microscope. We're suppose to write up what we see." The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them. The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, "During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many H's as O's."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:03 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
A: Fear of utility bills.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:04 am
by Richard Braun 1I
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:05 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:05 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:06 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:23 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
Chemistry puts the cation in education

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:23 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
chemistry jokes are sodium funny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:24 pm
by Evelyn L 1H
how did avogadro write to his friends?
by e-mole

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:28 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:28 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:30 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:52 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
Chemistry doesn't just matter, it is matter.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:53 am
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
Why did the liquid smell good?

Because it didn't past gas.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:08 am
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
I told a chemistry joke once, but there was no reaction. :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:09 am
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:48 pm
by Jessica Jones 2B
Na: "That was sodium funny!"
Ne: "I slapped my neon that one!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:49 pm
by Jessica Jones 2B
I told a chemistry joke once, but there was no reaction...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:50 pm
by Jessica Jones 2B
Advice: Never trust an atom, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:34 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
What did the police molecule say to the suspect molecule? I got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:47 pm
by Seth So
Every dipole has its moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:48 pm
by Seth So
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:50 pm
by Seth So
Cole's Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:48 am
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
I don't trust atoms...

I heard they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:52 am
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 11:36 am
by Abdullah2I
What did C14 do for Valentine's Day?


He went carbon dating.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 5:58 pm
by Andres Reynoso 1J
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:03 pm
by Diane Bui 2J
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A: C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:05 pm
by Diane Bui 2J
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 7:08 pm
by Oscar Valdovinos 1I
The only chemistry jokes that haven't been poster yet are the BORON ones,
*Ba Dum tsss*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 7:10 pm
by Oscar Valdovinos 1I
Q: What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A:Salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 7:11 pm
by Oscar Valdovinos 1I
I make bad chemistry puns, but only periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 8:23 pm
by Connor Kelligrew 2D
What did C14 do for Valentine's Day?

He went carbon dating!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 2:27 pm
by Annalise Eder 2L
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:09 pm
by Christy Zhao 1H
Why can't chemists prank their friends?
They lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:55 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:55 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.
He was 0k.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:56 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:41 pm
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:45 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:50 pm
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:11 pm
by Julia Ward 2C
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:31 pm
by Grace Han 2K
I don't trust atoms......




I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:50 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:50 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:51 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:38 pm
by Katie Blann 1E
Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A: A-mean-oh-acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:13 pm
by juchung7
Why do chemistry teachers like to teach about ammonia? Because its basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:26 pm
by juchung7
How many atoms in guacamole? Avocado's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:52 pm
by Anna Li 2E
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:59 pm
by Minie 1G
Dang girl you are a 10.

On a pH scale.

Because you are basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:15 pm
by Katelyn B 2E
What do you do with a sick chemist?

Well, if you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:16 pm
by Katelyn B 2E
Do you remember what happens when metal and oxygen react? My memory is a little rusty.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:16 pm
by Karissa Newberry
Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:17 pm
by Katelyn B 2E
"I would tell another chemistry joke, but all of my good ones argon."

"That's sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:19 pm
by Karissa Newberry
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

Tell them to pronounce "unionized"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:21 pm
by Karissa Newberry
What do they do with a sick chemist?

Well if you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:36 pm
by veneziaramirez 3I
Would you like to hear a joke about sodium?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:40 pm
by veneziaramirez 3I
I'm having such a hard time staying up late to do homework.
It's sodium hard.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:56 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
Why did the sodium cross the road?

Because it could not wait N-A longer.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:56 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
There should be someone who regulates these chem jokes.

They're far too basic for my taste.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:58 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
I believe that Uraniam Argon Copper Tellurium.

U Ar CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:58 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
How many fish are salty?

TuNA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:59 pm
by Sarah Wax 1G
Stop making electrochem jokes.
They're too charged.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:01 am
by Sarah Wax 1G
What did one titration tell the other?
Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:09 am
by Liam Maxwell 2E
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:47 am
by Elizabeth Ignacio 1C
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if it needs any help with its luggage.

"No," it says. "I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:56 am
by Elizabeth Ignacio 1C
Why did the hipster get burnt?

Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 1:31 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
What does a good movie about chemistry need?
The element of surprise!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 1:32 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
what do u call a chemist who throws sodium chloride at students?
a-salt