Page 59 of 80

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 1:34 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
Whenever I tell chemistry jokes, there is no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:58 pm
by Adam Enomoto 1L
I had a sodium joke but NA(h)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 1:00 pm
by Adam Enomoto 1L
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 3:00 pm
by Emily Warda 2L
My friend who attends Santa Clara Univerity sent me this photo from her chemistry lecture the other day, enjoy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 6:33 pm
by Qining Jin 1F
Your dad's been under a lot of pressure lately

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:40 pm
by Marina Georgies 1C
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:40 pm
by Marina Georgies 1C
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:47 pm
by Marina Georgies 1C
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:48 pm
by Marina Georgies 1C
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:50 pm
by Marina Georgies 1C
Q; How does sulfer communicate with other elements?
A: A sulfone.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:58 pm
by cbercik
what's the chemical formula for a banana?
Barium bonded to 2 sodiums

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:59 pm
by cbercik
What happens to electrons when they lose their energy?
They get Bohr'd

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:00 pm
by cbercik
How would a doctor help a broken balloon?
Helium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:02 pm
by cbercik
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because he was polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:03 pm
by cbercik
What do you call an educated cylinder?
A graduated cylinder

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:04 pm
by cbercik
What weapon can you make from potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:44 pm
by Janet Nguyen 2H
What did atom A say to the atom B who was telling this joke?
You're such a Boron

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 10:32 am
by Hammad Khan 2B
What is a physical chemists favorite show?
Law and Order

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:05 pm
by Natalie LeRaybaud 1G
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite...
He said Na BrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:11 pm
by Natalie LeRaybaud 1G
Q: What do dipoles say in passing?

A: Have you got a moment?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:30 pm
by Hyein Cha 2I
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:26 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
How often do I tell chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:27 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Why do chemists learn ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:27 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
I think I've lost an electron... in fact, I'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:28 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:28 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
Three nobles gases walk into a bar.
No one reacts.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:29 pm
by ChristineJimenez1J
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:28 pm
by Gevork 2E
Chemistry??...more like cheMYSTERY because I don't know what's going on.

(JK... maybe)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:29 pm
by 404995677
What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:52 pm
by 404995677
What show do Caesium and Iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:05 am
by Clement Ng
me: that midterm was so easy

me: *gets back grade

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 12:45 am
by Wayland Leung
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 10:16 am
by Adrienne Dang 1B
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:05 pm
by 504754253
here's a joke: I NEED CHEM NOTES for days i missed due to doctors appointments, but no STEM majors want to give them to me because its such a competitive field...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:08 pm
by 504754253
I slapped my neon that one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:07 pm
by David Zhou 1L
If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:09 pm
by David Zhou 1L
What do you do when you find a questionable amount of sulfur, tungsten, and silver in your backpack?

Keep calm and SWAg on!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!!!

-- Andrew Nguyen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:12 pm
by Andrew Nguyen 2I
I've seen the precipitate and solution one like 20 times on facebook - it's not even funny anymore

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:37 pm
by ssthirkannad
What is the chemical formula for coffee?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:38 pm
by ssthirkannad
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:39 pm
by ssthirkannad
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:40 pm
by ssthirkannad
How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?
They use a sulfone

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:42 pm
by ssthirkannad
What do you say to a periodic table that is missing gold?
Au revoir

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:46 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:47 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
NaCl NaOH
RED ALERT! THE BASE IS UNDER A SALT!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:48 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
I think I lost an electron. In fact, I'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:48 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
Two chemists walk into a bar, First says "hello, I'll have H2O" Second says "I'll also have some water, and stop ordering like that, you sound like an idiot"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:49 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
Today I told a chemistry joke, no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:51 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
Technically, alcohol is a solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:51 pm
by ssthirkannad
What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
It's CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:52 pm
by Merzia Subhan 1L
If a chemist is sick, and you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:08 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: What do you call an acid with attitude?
A: a-mean-o-acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:09 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
I lost an electron
You should really keep an ion them

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:12 pm
by hojae_lee_1C
Q: How often do you joke about elements?
A: Only periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:42 pm
by Andy Nguyen 1A
Heisenberg is driving when he gets pulled over. When the police officer asks how fast he was driving, Heisenberg replies "No, but I know exactly where I am!".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:30 pm
by Cooper1C
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:31 pm
by Cooper1C
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:31 pm
by Cooper1C
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:43 pm
by Abdullah2I
Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?


Because y'all are BeAuTi-ful.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:46 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:48 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 9:50 pm
by Abdullah2I
What happens to Nitrogen when the Sun comes up?


It becomes Daytrogen.

(you're welcome)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:37 pm
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:37 pm
by Mariane Sanchez 1E
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 5:55 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
How many moles are in guacamole?
Avocado's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 5:59 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
A small furry animal walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is 6.02 x 10^23. We can't a serve a mole."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:05 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
Why do white bears dissolve in water?
Because they're polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 7:25 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 7:26 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
Someone told me I have chemistry with a cute girl
But I don't take chemistry until next quarter

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 7:27 pm
by Richard Braun 1I
I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out
And I was like OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 11:28 pm
by Michelle Lee 2E
All these chemistry jokes are so funny.
Helium, Helium, Helium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 11:30 pm
by Michelle Lee 2E
I tell bad chemistry jokes because the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:14 pm
by Jacquelyn Hill 1
I tried to come up with another corny chemistry joke, but all of the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:21 pm
by Annalise Eder 2L
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:24 pm
by Jacquelyn Hill 1
Ar : Don't tell a joke to a noble gas because you'll get no reaction.

Na : Haha, That was sodium funny.

Ne : I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:28 pm
by Jacquelyn Hill 1
"OMG! I think I lost one of my neutrons"
"It'll be fine, you can get a new one free of charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:53 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.
The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:55 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:59 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Physical chemistry: the pitiful attempt to apply y=mx+b to everything in the universe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:03 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
I found the worst Chemistry joke of all time from Dr. Rachuru Sanjeev, Department of Chemistry, Mizan-Tepi University, Tepi Campus, Tepi, Ethiopia:

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:09 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
Erwin Schrodinger brings his sick cat to the doctor. After waiting several hours in the waiting room, the doctor finally comes out. So Erwin says, "Well, doc?" And the doctor says, "I have good news and I have bad news."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:06 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:07 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:01 pm
by Nhan Nguyen 2F
What do you call a tooth in a liter of water?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:09 pm
by Diane Bui 2J
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:11 pm
by Diane Bui 2J
Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:12 pm
by Diane Bui 2J
Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:14 pm
by torialmquist1F
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:15 pm
by torialmquist1F
Clever_Chemistry_Joke_funny_meme.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:17 pm
by torialmquist1F
DRpjHKOXkAEk2z1.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:19 pm
by Bansi Amin 1D
Are you a nucleophile?
Because all you seem to do is bring negativity into my life.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:21 pm
by Hammad Khan 2B
Chemistry Joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:23 pm
by Bansi Amin 1D
Q: What's a cation?
A: An ion with paws-itive charge :)
-3He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:33 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:35 pm
by mitalisharma2B
You must be the acid to my litmus paper because every time I meet you I turn bright red.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:36 pm
by torialmquist1F
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:36 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:49 pm
by Julia Ward 2C
Once I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction ...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:35 pm
by Katie Blann 1E
Um ... the universal symbol for confusion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:49 pm
by Seth So
I initially wanted to write jokes about the periodic table but I never felt I was in my element.