CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:50 pm**

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Posted: **Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:52 pm**

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:12 am**

Hey girl. Are you made out of salt? Because your SO-DIUM fine. ;)

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am**

What show does Cesium and Iodine like watching?
CSI!

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 am**

Why do chemists like working with ammonia?
Cuz it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:45 am**

Money Has Recently Been Discovered To Be A Not Yet Identified Super Heavy Element

The proposed name is: Unobtainium.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:47 am**

Did you know protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:58 am**

I told a joke to a guy named Helium, he didn't react.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:02 pm**

Question: What's a pirate's favorite element?

Answer: Gold (Bet you thought I was gonna say Arrrgon)

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:14 pm**

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Ar.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:29 pm**

Hey do you have any sodium bromide?
Na BrO

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm**

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:09 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:18 pm**

What do you call the guest registry at the Annual Bovine Convention of Cows in Chemistry?

A Cattle-List!
moooo

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:51 pm**

No, a catalyst isn't a record of the cows you own

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:00 pm**

Is it me or did I stumble into 14C today?

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:59 pm**

If only work were that simple (ft. 30sec MS paint)

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 7:38 pm**

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:20 pm**

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:21 pm**

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:22 pm**

I am out of Chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:23 pm**

We have great chemistry, lets do some biology

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:25 pm**

I've many chemistry jokes, I am just afraid they wouldn't get a very good reaction.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:26 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
An A-mean-oh Acid

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:27 pm**

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was Polar

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:28 pm**

You talk funny when you inhale helium.. He He He

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:30 pm**

Call the police cause NaCl/NaOH.

(The base is under a salt)

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:31 pm**

Mole Problem?
Just call 602-1023

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:32 pm**

Opening your book for the first time for a test be like:
Oxygen
Hydrogen
Carbon
Radium
Phosphorus

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:34 pm**

What's the difference between Chemistry and Cooking?
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:44 pm**

You be Flourine and I'll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:53 pm**

Want to be my substrate/enzyme?

Posted: **Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:54 pm**

I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they are cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm**

Why do white bears like the water so much? Because they're polar.

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:32 pm**

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:35 pm**

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:36 pm**

Girl you must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe

Posted: **Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:39 pm**

I wish I was adenine so I could get paired with U.

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:11 am**

What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
An ether bunny

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:12 am**

What is the chemical formula for seawater?
CH2O

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:13 am**

If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A mole of molasses

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:03 am**

If a King farts is it a Noble gas?

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:04 pm**

Practice Exam Problem:

How many views does Chemistry Community have? (10 pts)

a) 100,000

b) 1,000,000

c) 5,000,000

d) none of the above

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:57 pm**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:58 pm**

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:23 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:30 pm**

How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocado's number

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:31 pm**

Always have a positive attitude so you don't have an electron cloud hanging over your head

Posted: **Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:32 pm**

What do dipoles say as they pass each other?
"Do you have a moment?"

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:18 am**

Why did the chemist run slow in the relay race?

He wanted to be the rate determining step

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:20 am**

It's no fun cracking jokes in front of people who aren't spontaneous. Don't get much of a reaction.

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:44 am**

Lots of good jokes here.
:-)

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:44 pm**

I don't trust atoms....
They make up everything

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:45 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Dogs

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:15 pm**

What do you call an Acid with attitude?

A mean-oh Acid

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:35 pm**

Have you heard about Agent 007 going to Antarctica? It was a polar Bond.

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm**

Electron configuration? How BOHRing.

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm**

How often does a chemist like to hear jokes? Periodically.

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:38 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:41 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:36 pm**

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:34 am**

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:35 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:38 am**

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:41 am**

Did you know you could cool yourself to -273 degrees celsius and still be 0k?

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:43 am**

Q. Is silicon spelled the same in Spanish?
A. Si!

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:44 am**

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:54 am**

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:56 am**

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:22 am**

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:10 am**

I slapped my neon that one

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:42 am**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:28 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:36 pm**

what was the name of the first electricity detective?

Sherlock Ohms

looooolllll

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:40 pm**

What do you call iron particles blowing away in the wind?
Febreeze

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:55 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:56 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:20 pm**

Why should you never trust atoms?
Bc they make up everything

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:23 pm**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:25 pm**

What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:26 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm**

What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm**

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm**

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm**

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

Posted: **Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm**

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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