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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:50 pm
by Seth So
The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:52 pm
by Seth So
13265862.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:12 am
by Clarisse Wikstrom 1H
Hey girl. Are you made out of salt? Because your SO-DIUM fine. ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
What show does Cesium and Iodine like watching?
CSI!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 am
by Daniel Vo 1B
Why do chemists like working with ammonia?
Cuz it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:45 am
by Annie Lieu-1H
Money Has Recently Been Discovered To Be A Not Yet Identified Super Heavy Element


The proposed name is: Unobtainium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:47 am
by Annie Lieu-1H
Did you know protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:58 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
I told a joke to a guy named Helium, he didn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:02 pm
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Question: What's a pirate's favorite element?

Answer: Gold (Bet you thought I was gonna say Arrrgon)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:14 pm
by KayleeMcCord1F
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Ar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:29 pm
by KayleeMcCord1F
Hey do you have any sodium bromide?
Na BrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:09 pm
by Sam Smoot 2L
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:18 pm
by Tim Foster 2A
What do you call the guest registry at the Annual Bovine Convention of Cows in Chemistry?

A Cattle-List!
moooo

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:51 pm
by Swetha Sundaram 1E
No, a catalyst isn't a record of the cows you own

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:00 pm
by Clement Ng
Is it me or did I stumble into 14C today?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:59 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
If only work were that simple (ft. 30sec MS paint)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 7:38 pm
by Andres Reynoso 1J
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:20 pm
by Juanalv326
What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:21 pm
by Juanalv326
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:22 pm
by Meghna2A
I am out of Chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:23 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
We have great chemistry, lets do some biology

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:25 pm
by Meghna2A
I've many chemistry jokes, I am just afraid they wouldn't get a very good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:26 pm
by Meghna2A
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
An A-mean-oh Acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:27 pm
by Meghna2A
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was Polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:28 pm
by Meghna2A
You talk funny when you inhale helium.. He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:30 pm
by Meghna2A
Call the police cause NaCl/NaOH.

(The base is under a salt)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:31 pm
by Meghna2A
Mole Problem?
Just call 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:32 pm
by Meghna2A
Opening your book for the first time for a test be like:
Oxygen
Hydrogen
Carbon
Radium
Phosphorus

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:34 pm
by Meghna2A
What's the difference between Chemistry and Cooking?
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:44 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
You be Flourine and I'll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:53 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
Want to be my substrate/enzyme?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:54 pm
by Carl Kim 1K
I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they are cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
Why do white bears like the water so much? Because they're polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:32 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:35 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:36 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
Girl you must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:39 pm
by Michelle Lu 1F
I wish I was adenine so I could get paired with U.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:11 am
by ssthirkannad
What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
An ether bunny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:12 am
by ssthirkannad
What is the chemical formula for seawater?
CH2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:13 am
by ssthirkannad
If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A mole of molasses

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:03 am
by Ryan Sydney Beyer 2B
If a King farts is it a Noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:04 pm
by Clement Ng
Practice Exam Problem:

How many views does Chemistry Community have? (10 pts)

a) 100,000

b) 1,000,000

c) 5,000,000

d) none of the above

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:57 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:58 pm
by Veronica Rasmusen 2B
What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:23 pm
by Shreya Ramineni 2L
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:30 pm
by cbercik
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocado's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:31 pm
by cbercik
Always have a positive attitude so you don't have an electron cloud hanging over your head

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:32 pm
by cbercik
What do dipoles say as they pass each other?
"Do you have a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:18 am
by Arjun Sharma 1D
Why did the chemist run slow in the relay race?

He wanted to be the rate determining step

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:20 am
by Arjun Sharma 1D
It's no fun cracking jokes in front of people who aren't spontaneous. Don't get much of a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:44 am
by Chem_Mod
Lots of good jokes here.
:-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:44 pm
by Juanalv326
I don't trust atoms....
They make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:45 pm
by Juanalv326
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Dogs

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:15 pm
by Juanalv326
What do you call an Acid with attitude?

A mean-oh Acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:35 pm
by Warda Sahib 2J
Have you heard about Agent 007 going to Antarctica? It was a polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm
by Warda Sahib 2J
Electron configuration? How BOHRing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm
by Warda Sahib 2J
How often does a chemist like to hear jokes? Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:38 pm
by Warda Sahib 2J
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:41 pm
by Warda Sahib 2J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:36 pm
by Bill Phawn 2C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:34 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:35 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:38 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
before_after_organicexam.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:41 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
Did you know you could cool yourself to -273 degrees celsius and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:43 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
Q. Is silicon spelled the same in Spanish?
A. Si!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:44 am
by Miguel Velasco 2J
tumblr_ovcycbDPv71ra7rzwo1_1280.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:54 am
by Pooja Nair 1C
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:56 am
by Pooja Nair 1C
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:22 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am
by Richard Braun 1I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am
by Richard Braun 1I
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:10 am
by 904940852
I slapped my neon that one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:42 am
by 904940852
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:28 am
by Shanmitha Arun 1L
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:36 pm
by Andrew Nguyen 2I
what was the name of the first electricity detective?

Sherlock Ohms

looooolllll

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:40 pm
by Pooja Nair 1C
What do you call iron particles blowing away in the wind?
Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:55 pm
by mitalisharma2B
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:56 pm
by mitalisharma2B
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:20 pm
by 704887365
Why should you never trust atoms?
Bc they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:23 pm
by 704887365
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm
by 704887365
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm
by 704887365
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm
by 704887365
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:25 pm
by 704887365
What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:26 pm
by 704887365
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm
by 704887365
What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm
by 704887365
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm
by 704887365
What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm
by 704887365
What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm
by 704887365
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."