Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

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704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:29 pm

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:30 pm

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:30 pm

What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:31 pm

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:31 pm

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:32 pm

Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:32 pm

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:33 pm

Two atoms are walking down the street
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:34 pm

Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level

704887365
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 704887365 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:34 pm

Dubstep titration: drop the bass

Abdullah2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Abdullah2I » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:30 pm

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Abdullah2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Abdullah2I » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:31 pm

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Abdullah2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Abdullah2I » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:33 pm

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Seth So
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Seth So » Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:32 pm

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon. gg amirite

Seth So
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Seth So » Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:32 pm

What do dipoles say when passing?

"Do you got a moment?"

Seth So
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Seth So » Fri Mar 16, 2018 11:39 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

"One molar solution"

904940852
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby 904940852 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 5:00 am

what is the atomic symbol of confusion?

Um

Jesus Rodriguez 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jesus Rodriguez 1J » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:14 am

-What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Jesus Rodriguez 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jesus Rodriguez 1J » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:18 am

Little Johnny had a drink
But now he'll drink no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

Juanalv326
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Juanalv326 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:30 am

Dubstep Titration: Drop the Base

Juanalv326
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Juanalv326 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:32 am

Lost an Electron,
You really have to keep an ion them

Juanalv326
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Juanalv326 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:33 am

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar

Zane Mills 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Zane Mills 1E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:07 pm

What is a cation afraid of ? A dogion.

Zane Mills 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Zane Mills 1E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:08 pm

How do you make a 32 Molar Soln? Put your grandma's dentures in water.

Isa Samad 1L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Isa Samad 1L » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:28 pm

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Liam Maxwell 2E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Liam Maxwell 2E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:33 pm

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

Liam Maxwell 2E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Liam Maxwell 2E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:34 pm

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Liam Maxwell 2E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Liam Maxwell 2E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:35 pm

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Krupa Prajapati
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Krupa Prajapati » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:54 pm

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We do not serve noble gases here." He does not react.

Krupa Prajapati
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Krupa Prajapati » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:57 pm

Avogadro says, "Hey ladies, take my number: 6.02 X 10^23"

Krupa Prajapati
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Krupa Prajapati » Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:02 pm

Are you made of copper? Cause I Cu in a relationship with me.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:32 pm

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:34 pm

Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:35 pm

yo momma so ugly not even fluorine would bond w her.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:36 pm

I must be an exothermic reaction because I'm running out of energy.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:38 pm

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:41 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:44 pm

You don’t want to mess with Helium, take away his electrons and he’ll threaten to cause cancer, and he isn’t bluffing.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:45 pm

Hey Chemistry Cat! Tell us a potassium joke! Chemistry Cat: “K”

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:47 pm

why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:48 pm

Heisenberg is rushing home in his car. He gets pulled over and the officer approaches his car. “Sir,” he says, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies “No, I do not, but I know exactly where I am.”

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:50 pm

Hey are you nervous for your basketball game Diamond? -No, I do good under pressure, and when the situation gets hot, it doesn’t phase me.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:52 pm

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:53 pm

How did the chemist survive the famine?

He subsisted on titrations.

Kyle Alves 3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyle Alves 3K » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:55 pm

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

Renee Delamater 2H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Renee Delamater 2H » Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:21 pm

Why can't you trust atoms? They make everything up!!!!!!!

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sat Mar 17, 2018 6:32 pm

You must be a compound of Beryllium and Barium,
because you’re a total BaBe

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sat Mar 17, 2018 6:33 pm

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.
That’s a salt!

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sat Mar 17, 2018 6:34 pm

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:23 pm

Why do chemists always choose to turn into cats when given the ability to become an animal?

So they can say with finality: I mCAT
(I'm awful at these but they're so fun to make)

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:36 pm

A chemistry student walks into a bar (err that serves non alcoholic drinks of course) and sees an attractive server. The student goes up to the server in an attempt to get the mixer to leave their shift. The student says:,

If 'U minus work', we could make some heat.

(ayyyy get it cause deltaU=q+w)
(please don't hate me making these terrible jokes give me life)

Katie Blann 1E
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Katie Blann 1E » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:38 pm

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
I slapped my neon on that one!
Attachments
chemistry-jokes-are-sodium-funny.jpg

Bansi Amin 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bansi Amin 1D » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:49 pm

I hope this posts properly lol
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26m580.jpg

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:53 pm

As a specialist in alchemy, Dumbledore decided to name his resistance movement against Voldemort inspired by his chemistry roots. As a result...

The Order of the Phoenix Reaction, featuring characters like Sirius Black the intermediate who comes up but shortly dies, Ron Weasley the rate determining step.

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H » Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:12 pm

I told my friends my chemistry jokes. There was no reaction other than the room growing cold.

Guess it wasn't spontaneous enough. Or maybe there was an exothermic one...

Masih Tazhibi 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Masih Tazhibi 2I » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:05 pm

This quarter is moving so fast! I really need to get it in........Kinetic control

Masih Tazhibi 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Masih Tazhibi 2I » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:15 pm

What's an Organic Chemist's greatest fear?

A BACKSIDE ATTACK!

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:22 am

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:23 am

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:25 am

Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15 ºC and be 0K?

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:26 am

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:26 am

What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe.

Michelle Lu 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Michelle Lu 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:37 am

I told my friends a chemistry joke today.
There was no reaction.

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:50 am

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:51 am

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:51 am

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:51 am

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers.

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:52 am

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Alexander Peter 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Alexander Peter 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:28 am

What do you call a tooth in water?

A molar solution.

Danah Albaaj 1I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Danah Albaaj 1I » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:38 am

This is what I picture the dilute saying whenever a precipitate forms in a concentration cell.
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Emily Warda 2L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Emily Warda 2L » Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:19 am

What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

Justin Lai 1C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Justin Lai 1C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:31 pm

What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

Justin Lai 1C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Justin Lai 1C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:32 pm

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Garret G 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Garret G 2F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:56 pm

vqDcC3gPVAVrwYheWLjls4rvbYjP648fa3tHEcb51o8.jpg

Justin Lai 1C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Justin Lai 1C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:59 pm

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Garret G 2F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Garret G 2F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:01 pm

When I ask Lavelle if we have to derive equations
iUkGTJ7.jpg

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:14 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

miznaakbar
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby miznaakbar » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:20 pm

Hey, do you have 11 protons?

Because you're sodium fine

Thompson W 2C
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Re: Post All Chemistry JokesDid you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k? Here

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:24 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

rkusampudi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby rkusampudi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:25 pm

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

rkusampudi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby rkusampudi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:26 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

rkusampudi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby rkusampudi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:27 pm

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

rkusampudi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby rkusampudi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:31 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

rkusampudi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby rkusampudi » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:32 pm

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Nishma Chakraborty 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nishma Chakraborty 1J » Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:22 pm

What's the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Nishma Chakraborty 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Nishma Chakraborty 1J » Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:29 pm

What's a way to tell a chemist and a coal miner apart?

ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Niyanta Joshi 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Niyanta Joshi 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:41 pm

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Niyanta Joshi 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Niyanta Joshi 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:48 pm

I don't like atoms, I heard they make up everything...

Niyanta Joshi 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Niyanta Joshi 1F » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:54 pm

what kind of fish has only 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:56 pm

When they ask me if I recognized the two problems on the exam that were from the homework:
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Kyra Dingle 1B
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Kyra Dingle 1B » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:06 pm

What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?

Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium

or CHoCoLaTe

Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:12 pm

When they ask me if I was mentally stable during the final:
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Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:13 pm

Me: "The Hess's Law problem on the final should be easy, right?"
Lavelle:
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Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:16 pm

Everyone's favorite functional group:
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Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:19 pm

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:24 pm

I thought if we missed doing 3 posts per week, we lost those points weekly, rather than the fact that we just needed to do thirty post total; so apparently, my life is a joke.

Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Jul 22, 2017 2:00 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:25 pm

You can't spell joke without Potassium!

Jason Muljadi 2C
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2017 2:01 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jason Muljadi 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:00 pm

17861795_401376843562416_715381546470117774_n.jpg

Jason Muljadi 2C
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2017 2:01 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jason Muljadi 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:00 pm

15823288_354336218266479_9103518403382787580_n.png

Jason Muljadi 2C
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2017 2:01 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jason Muljadi 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:01 pm

22007483_477404885959611_7116176683945464162_n.png


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