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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:29 pm
by 704887365
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:30 pm
by 704887365
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:30 pm
by 704887365
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:31 pm
by 704887365
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:31 pm
by 704887365
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:32 pm
by 704887365
Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:32 pm
by 704887365
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:33 pm
by 704887365
Two atoms are walking down the street
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:34 pm
by 704887365
Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:34 pm
by 704887365
Dubstep titration: drop the bass

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:30 pm
by Abdullah2I
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:31 pm
by Abdullah2I
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:33 pm
by Abdullah2I
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:32 am
by Seth So
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon. gg amirite

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:32 am
by Seth So
What do dipoles say when passing?

"Do you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:39 am
by Seth So
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

"One molar solution"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 6:00 am
by 904940852
what is the atomic symbol of confusion?

Um

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:14 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
-What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:18 am
by Jesus Rodriguez 1J
Little Johnny had a drink
But now he'll drink no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:30 pm
by Juanalv326
Dubstep Titration: Drop the Base

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:32 pm
by Juanalv326
Lost an Electron,
You really have to keep an ion them

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:33 pm
by Juanalv326
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:07 pm
by Zane Mills 1E
What is a cation afraid of ? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:08 pm
by Zane Mills 1E
How do you make a 32 Molar Soln? Put your grandma's dentures in water.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:28 pm
by Isa Samad 1L
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:33 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:34 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:35 pm
by Liam Maxwell 2E
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:54 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We do not serve noble gases here." He does not react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:57 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Avogadro says, "Hey ladies, take my number: 6.02 X 10^23"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:02 pm
by Krupa Prajapati
Are you made of copper? Cause I Cu in a relationship with me.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:32 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:34 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:35 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
yo momma so ugly not even fluorine would bond w her.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:36 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
I must be an exothermic reaction because I'm running out of energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:38 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:41 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:44 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
You don’t want to mess with Helium, take away his electrons and he’ll threaten to cause cancer, and he isn’t bluffing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:45 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Hey Chemistry Cat! Tell us a potassium joke! Chemistry Cat: “K”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:47 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:48 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Heisenberg is rushing home in his car. He gets pulled over and the officer approaches his car. “Sir,” he says, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies “No, I do not, but I know exactly where I am.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:50 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Hey are you nervous for your basketball game Diamond? -No, I do good under pressure, and when the situation gets hot, it doesn’t phase me.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:52 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:53 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
How did the chemist survive the famine?

He subsisted on titrations.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:55 pm
by Kyle Alves 3K
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 5:21 pm
by Renee Delamater 2H
Why can't you trust atoms? They make everything up!!!!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:32 pm
by Thompson W 2C
You must be a compound of Beryllium and Barium,
because you’re a total BaBe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:33 pm
by Thompson W 2C
My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.
That’s a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:34 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:23 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
Why do chemists always choose to turn into cats when given the ability to become an animal?

So they can say with finality: I mCAT
(I'm awful at these but they're so fun to make)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:36 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
A chemistry student walks into a bar (err that serves non alcoholic drinks of course) and sees an attractive server. The student goes up to the server in an attempt to get the mixer to leave their shift. The student says:,

If 'U minus work', we could make some heat.

(ayyyy get it cause deltaU=q+w)
(please don't hate me making these terrible jokes give me life)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:38 pm
by Katie Blann 1E
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
I slapped my neon on that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:49 pm
by Bansi Amin 1D
I hope this posts properly lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 8:53 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
As a specialist in alchemy, Dumbledore decided to name his resistance movement against Voldemort inspired by his chemistry roots. As a result...

The Order of the Phoenix Reaction, featuring characters like Sirius Black the intermediate who comes up but shortly dies, Ron Weasley the rate determining step.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:12 pm
by Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
I told my friends my chemistry jokes. There was no reaction other than the room growing cold.

Guess it wasn't spontaneous enough. Or maybe there was an exothermic one...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:05 pm
by Masih Tazhibi 2I
This quarter is moving so fast! I really need to get it in........Kinetic control

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:15 pm
by Masih Tazhibi 2I
What's an Organic Chemist's greatest fear?

A BACKSIDE ATTACK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:22 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:23 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:25 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15 ºC and be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:26 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:26 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:37 am
by Michelle Lu 1F
I told my friends a chemistry joke today.
There was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:50 am
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:51 am
by Thompson W 2C
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:51 am
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:51 am
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:52 am
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:28 am
by Alexander Peter 1F
What do you call a tooth in water?

A molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:38 am
by Danah Albaaj 1I
This is what I picture the dilute saying whenever a precipitate forms in a concentration cell.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:19 am
by Emily Warda 2L
What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:31 pm
by Justin Lai 1C
What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:32 pm
by Justin Lai 1C
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:56 pm
by Garret G 2F
vqDcC3gPVAVrwYheWLjls4rvbYjP648fa3tHEcb51o8.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:59 pm
by Justin Lai 1C
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:01 pm
by Garret G 2F
When I ask Lavelle if we have to derive equations
iUkGTJ7.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:14 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:20 pm
by miznaakbar
Hey, do you have 11 protons?

Because you're sodium fine

Re: Post All Chemistry JokesDid you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k? Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:24 pm
by Thompson W 2C
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:25 pm
by rkusampudi
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:26 pm
by rkusampudi
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:27 pm
by rkusampudi
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:31 pm
by rkusampudi
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:32 pm
by rkusampudi
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:22 pm
by Nishma Chakraborty 1J
What's the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:29 pm
by Nishma Chakraborty 1J
What's a way to tell a chemist and a coal miner apart?

ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:41 pm
by Niyanta Joshi 1F
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:48 pm
by Niyanta Joshi 1F
I don't like atoms, I heard they make up everything...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:54 pm
by Niyanta Joshi 1F
what kind of fish has only 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:56 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
When they ask me if I recognized the two problems on the exam that were from the homework:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:06 pm
by Kyra Dingle 1B
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?

Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium

or CHoCoLaTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:12 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
When they ask me if I was mentally stable during the final:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:13 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
Me: "The Hess's Law problem on the final should be easy, right?"
Lavelle:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:16 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
Everyone's favorite functional group:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:19 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:24 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
I thought if we missed doing 3 posts per week, we lost those points weekly, rather than the fact that we just needed to do thirty post total; so apparently, my life is a joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:25 pm
by Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D
You can't spell joke without Potassium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:00 pm
by Jason Muljadi 2C
17861795_401376843562416_715381546470117774_n.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:00 pm
by Jason Muljadi 2C
15823288_354336218266479_9103518403382787580_n.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:01 pm
by Jason Muljadi 2C
22007483_477404885959611_7116176683945464162_n.png