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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 12:14 am
by juchung7
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 12:50 am
by Akash_Kapoor_1L

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 1:56 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Water: Hey oil! Wanna hang out?

Oil: Sorry. I can't mix with you guys.

Water: Hydrophobe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:23 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
If you're serious about chemistry, the only frat you should be thinking about joining is Sig Fig. ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:25 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
I hate bad chemistry jokes. Hearing one really Hz my ears.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:35 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
Chemistry? More like cheMYSTERY because I have no idea what's going on...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:39 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
What did the scientist say when he/she found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:40 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
He/she threw sodium chloride at me! That's a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:43 am
by Kristin Ishaya 1A
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3's!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2018 7:16 pm
by Joshua Yang 1H
Image

Pre-2012 chemistry joke bruuh :/


Explanation: Uuh (ununhexium) was officially named as Lv (livermorium) in 2012. So sadly we can't make this joke anymore bruuh
https://www.nature.com/articles/nchem.2593

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 7:23 pm
by Steve H
What is an isotope?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:42 pm
by Nienjou Claire 1E
Q: what kind of dogs do scientists have?
A: laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:44 pm
by Shimran Kumar 1C
I try to tell chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction :'(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 10:02 pm
by nicknavejas1B
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:13 pm
by nikitasridhar_1b
what kind of dog do chemists have? laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2018 10:31 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 7:48 pm
by Nandhini_2K
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:27 pm
by Jack Dias
Two men walk into a chemistry-themed bar. The first man asks for a glass of H2O. The second man says, "I'll have a glass of H20, too". The second man has to go to the hospital.







(H202 aka dihydrogen dioxide aka not actually water the bartender got bamboozled)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:15 pm
by Jamie Reniva 1J
Q: What is the chem formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 8:14 pm
by melodyso1K
Argon and Neon walk into a bar during the French Revolution. The bartender said "We don't serve noble gasses here"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2018 7:45 pm
by Sollie1G
If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 10:44 am
by AlyssaRivera
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 12:14 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite. He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:32 pm
by Nandhini_2K
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:11 pm
by Nienjou Claire 1E
I don't trust atoms...
I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:20 pm
by Cindy Nguyen 1L
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:21 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
I make bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:23 pm
by Cindy Nguyen 1L
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:24 pm
by Cindy Nguyen 1L
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:25 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:26 pm
by Cindy Nguyen 1L
People always say all the good chemistry jokes Argon, but NO3-, they're not.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:37 pm
by Sophie W
What's a chemist's dream car?
A Mercedes Benz-ene!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:00 am
by Jocelyn1B
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones Argon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:24 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:25 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

I slapped my neon that one!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:29 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
A cation is an ion with a paw-sitive charge

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:41 pm
by Caroline Crotty 1D
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:06 pm
by Hope_Pham_1G
You must be a compound of beryllium and barium...because you’re a total BaBe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:08 pm
by Hope_Pham_1G
I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:17 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
How often do I tell Chemistry jokes?
Periodically!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:22 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 7:04 pm
by Sollie1G
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:45 pm
by Mohamad Farhat 1L
they say 70% of you is h2o, well the other 30% of me wants2die.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:47 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A 1 molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:10 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: What kind of dog does a chemist have?
A: A laboratory retriever

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:11 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What did one ion say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:11 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?

A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:12 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Why do chemists like nitrates? Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:18 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:22 pm
by arina_m 1A
What did C14 do for Valentine's Day?

He went carbon dating :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:24 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:27 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:06 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:18 pm
by Brayan Claros
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 11:23 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
it's CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:17 am
by melodyso1K
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 9:43 pm
by Jocelyn1B
I have many chemistry jokes.
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:11 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:12 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:13 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:55 pm
by Jasmine Emtage-1J
What do chemists use to make guacamole? Avogadros

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2018 2:33 pm
by octaviahuang1f
playground duty :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2018 8:06 pm
by Nandhini_2K
What was Avogadro’s favorite board game?
Moleoply

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 2:41 pm
by Sollie1G
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:24 pm
by Caitlyn Ponce 1L
Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Cause you're really CuTe wow

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:12 pm
by Angelica Garcia 1-H
hahahahah

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:09 pm
by Jocelyn1B
I don't trust atoms.
I hear they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:13 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:08 pm
by ElizabethP1L
What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

Answer: 2 NA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:24 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:29 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:31 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocados number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:40 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:45 pm
by arina_m 1A
I tried to make a good chemistry joke...

But there was no reaction :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:48 pm
by arina_m 1A
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium.

What do you do with a wounded chemist?

Helium.

A sick chemist?

Curium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:02 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:03 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They always have a solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:56 pm
by Mohamad 1J
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:57 pm
by Mohamad 1J
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2018 10:58 pm
by Mohamad 1J
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 6:53 am
by Cindy Nguyen 1L
How do you find a mole?

Eenie meenie minie mole.

-an original

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 5:30 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 5:31 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 5:32 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 6:42 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:11 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
You can freeze yourself at -273 degrees celsius and still be 0k.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:12 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
My favorite jokes are about Cobalt, Radon, and Yttrium because I love CoRnY chemistry jokes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:16 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:35 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant? A: A chemistree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:36 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 11:32 pm
by Caroline Crotty 1D
I try to make chemistry jokes, but generally there is no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 11:33 pm
by Caroline Crotty 1D
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones "argon".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 11:35 pm
by Caroline Crotty 1D
Atom: Oh my gosh I've lost a neutron!

Another atom: Don't worry, you can get a new one "free of charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 11:39 pm
by arina_m 1A
Chemistry Pickup Line:

Are you full of Beryllium, Gold and Titanium?

Because you're BeAuTi-ful

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 07, 2018 11:44 am
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 07, 2018 11:44 am
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image


This hurt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 07, 2018 11:45 am
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri May 11, 2018 2:07 pm
by Sollie1G
A photon checks into a hotel and they ask if he has any luggage.

"No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 2:05 am
by Nandhini_2K
Making chemistry puns instead of doing actual work, more like...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 8:54 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe