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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:07 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:08 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:13 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
large.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:49 pm
by Jocelyn1B
Once I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:57 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:08 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:10 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Q: What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)
A: Gold.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:10 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Q: Why didn't the chemist enjoy doing chromatography?
A: He got separation anxiety.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:11 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
A: He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:32 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Are chemical workers un-ionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:32 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:33 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
I make bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:55 pm
by arina_m 1A
Did you know you could cool yourself to -237.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:56 pm
by arina_m 1A
-Did you hear that joke about sodium?
-Naaaa

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:58 pm
by arina_m 1A
Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because its in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 13, 2018 11:07 pm
by 204750609
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?


At least I have a degree!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:34 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:35 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:36 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 4:12 pm
by Caroline Crotty 1D
Two men walk into a bar. One says "I'll have some H2O." The other man says "I'll have some H20, too." The second man died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri May 18, 2018 2:43 am
by Endri Dis 1J
What did the three hydrogens say to the nitrogen?
AM-MON-IA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri May 18, 2018 5:57 pm
by Sollie1G
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri May 18, 2018 9:42 pm
by DomMaiorca_1I
Helium walks into a bar.

The bar tender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat May 19, 2018 9:35 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What show do cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 3:32 pm
by Hope_Pham_1G
A Hug without u
Hg
is just mercury

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 4:10 pm
by Hope_Pham_1G
My chem puns rarely get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 6:19 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 6:34 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 7:55 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. The proposed element name is Un-obtainium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 9:53 pm
by Jocelyn1B
If a king farts is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 10:00 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6 x 10^23 pieces? A Guacamole.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 10:01 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 10:03 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What is a chemist's favorite plant? Stoichiome - tree.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 10:05 pm
by Caitlyn Ponce 1L
Are you made of Oxygen and Neon? Cause I think you're the ONe
:/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 11:50 pm
by arina_m 1A
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates. :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 11:51 pm
by arina_m 1A
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H20 cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 11:55 pm
by 105012653 1F
What was that joke about sodium again?

Na, nevermind I forgot it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:35 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:35 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 21, 2018 8:36 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 1:05 am
by Nandhini_2K
What do you call a clown who's in jail? A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 12:03 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What do dipoles say in passing?
"Do you have a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 12:17 pm
by nicolesalcedo
*texting a chemistry major*

"Hey you wanna go to the movies rn?"

"Sure, when?"

"Rn"

"What do you mean by Radon?"

"..."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 1:12 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
Carbon and a hydrogen went on a date. They really bonded.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 3:04 pm
by Sollie1G
That was sodium funny

I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 5:52 pm
by JoeyAnn Mateo 1D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 8:57 pm
by arina_m 1A
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 8:58 pm
by arina_m 1A
What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 9:02 pm
by arina_m 1A
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 9:11 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have an ‎H2O." The other says, "I'll have an ‎H2O, too." The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 9:34 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 10:04 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun May 27, 2018 11:47 pm
by 204750609
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:23 am
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:23 am
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:24 am
by Aryana Nazem 1A
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

wait for it..

A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:24 am
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)
A: Gold.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:25 am
by Aryana Nazem 1A
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 12:25 am
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 2:32 am
by Caitlyn Ponce 1L
You're the photon to my valence electron. You excite me to another level ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 10:40 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 10:40 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon May 28, 2018 10:41 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue May 29, 2018 3:32 pm
by Solene Poulhazan
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed May 30, 2018 1:34 pm
by Jocelyn1B
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed May 30, 2018 3:33 pm
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Q: How often does this group tell chemistry jokes?
A: Periodically!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:01 pm
by Nienjou Claire 1E
I have many chemistry jokes, but I'm afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:01 pm
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Initially I decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2018 5:51 pm
by Sollie1G
Once, I told a chemistry joke...

there was no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:09 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
I must be an exothermic reaction, because I'm running out of energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:35 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 4:36 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
It becomes day-trogen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 5:05 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 5:05 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Every dipole has its moment!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 5:06 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Did you hear that Anion broke up with Cation? Always makes me cry.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:42 pm
by arina_m 1A
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:44 pm
by Caitlyn Ponce 1L
I hate learning about electrons. I always get so Bohr'd :))))

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:44 pm
by arina_m 1A
Helium walks into a bar,
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:48 pm
by arina_m 1A
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 10:48 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 10:49 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 10:53 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:28 pm
by CarinaVargas1J
If a king farts

IS that a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:30 pm
by Jocelyn1B
What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:31 pm
by Jocelyn1B
I try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 11:36 pm
by CarinaVargas1J
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBro

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:02 am
by Jocelyn1B
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:50 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:50 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:51 pm
by Nancy Nguyen 1K
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2018 11:17 pm
by 204750609
A classified add read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:57 pm
by kellyz_1C
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:57 pm
by kellyz_1C
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:58 pm
by kellyz_1C
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 9:06 pm
by Salena Chowdri 1I
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.

How ionic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 9:10 pm
by Salena Chowdri 1I
What do dipoles say in passing?

Have you got a moment?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:24 pm
by 204750609
As finals week approaches:
What is the chemical formula of coffee?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:37 am
by Sollie1G
A proton and neuron are walking down the street.

Proton: Wait, I lost an electron. Will you help me find it?
Neuron: Are you sure?
Proton: Yeah, I'm positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:49 pm
by MariaJohn1D
I like chemistry jokes bc they are funny
He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:50 pm
by MariaJohn1D
I tell bad chemistry jokes bc all the good ones Argon...