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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:50 pm
by MariaJohn1D
Don't tell jokes to noble gases you'll get no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:51 pm
by MariaJohn1D
A covalent bond joke? Thanks for sharing...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:52 pm
by MariaJohn1D
Do I know any jokes about sodium? Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:53 pm
by MariaJohn1D
If avogadro calls tell him to leave his number...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:05 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:06 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
My name is Bond
.
.
Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:06 pm
by Nabeeha Khan 1D
Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:12 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:12 pm
by Aryana Nazem 1A
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:29 pm
by DomMaiorca_1I
Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?

It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:32 pm
by DomMaiorca_1I
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:34 pm
by DomMaiorca_1I
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 12:36 am
by MeghetyManoyan1A
What is it called when the Queen of England farts?
A noble gas

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 10:32 am
by Hongtao Yao
Me after taking Chem 14A
alchemy.jpeg
alchemy.jpeg (7.86 KiB) Viewed 8855 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 2:45 pm
by MeghetyManoyan1A
Which element is the coldest?
Brrryllium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 5:30 pm
by MinyoungHong_1L
What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:25 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A-mean-oh-acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:55 pm
by 204917020
My favorite meme

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:22 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
OMG I've lost a neutron!
It's ok you can get a new one free of charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:35 pm
by Ani Boyadjian 1A
Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?
I AM

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:53 pm
by arina_m 1A
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

A: two-Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 10:01 pm
by arina_m 1A
Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

A: Ask how to pronounce the word “unionized”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 10:19 pm
by Ashley Martinez 1G
What did the proton say to the electron?

Forget you, why do you always have something negative to say?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 11:20 pm
by salvadoralvizo1J
A proton walks into a bar. He's visibly depressed and disheveled.

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks.

The proton sighs. "I found out my wife has been unfaithful," he replies.

"How do know?" asks the bartender.

"Well, you see, I've always been faithful to my wife. But just today I got some bad news. I'm HIV positive."

"Oh my [censored], are you sure the prognosis is correct?" he replies.

The lonely man took a swig of his drink. "I'm positive," replied the proton.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:22 am
by melodyso1K
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:11 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:11 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:12 pm
by Caitlyn Ponce 1L
Why did the noble gas cry?
Cause all its friends Argon. i can relate tbh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:06 pm
by Mariah Guerrero 1J
"The name's bond. Sigma bond."
-007

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:47 am
by Nandhini_2K
Caution don't trip!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:16 am
by Erin Li 1K
I don't trust atoms...I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:52 pm
by nicolesalcedo
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:29 pm
by JoeyAnn Mateo 1D
All the good chemistry jokes...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:27 am
by JooHyun Koh 1H
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with NaOH?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:38 pm
by JooHyun Koh 1H
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:37 pm
by Jocelyn1B
What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:49 pm
by Jared Pagal 1J
Remember, all CATions are PAWsitive! XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:01 pm
by Rosamari Orduna 1D
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

...because it's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:03 pm
by Rosamari Orduna 1D
Chemistry jokes are Sodiummm funny,
I slapped my Neon that one!

(a realll knee slapper amirite?)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:09 pm
by Rosamari Orduna 1D
a s s a u l t e d b y l o v e <3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:14 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:15 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:15 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:16 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What is the name of the molecule CH2O? Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:17 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:18 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole? Avocados number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:18 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:19 pm
by Ashwin Deena 1L
What did the chemical agent say? My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:47 pm
by Megan Phan 1K
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:26 pm
by Sollie1G
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:27 pm
by Sollie1G
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:32 pm
by Sollie1G
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 4:19 pm
by Sollie1G
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 5:39 pm
by Arlene Linares 3A
mitalisharma2B wrote:Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!



This one is really funny and creative.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 5:41 pm
by Arlene Linares 3A
Sollie1G wrote:What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers


Lol, this one is really good too.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 5:42 pm
by Arlene Linares 3A
Sollie1G wrote:Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.


AHAH this one is funny as well.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:17 am
by Hadji Yono-Cruz 2L
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 2:16 pm
by DavidEcheverri3J
Explaining how one side of an equation must equal the other.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:11 pm
by Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B
How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:40 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:41 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Stop being an anion and start being a cation.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:42 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:27 pm
by DavidEcheverri3J
Kevin Nguyen 4G wrote:Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

That joke made ABSOLUTE ZERO sense.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:38 pm
by marinhaluza_1
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep going until you have a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:19 pm
by Ian Marquez 2K
What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na (Tuna)!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 12:32 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:22 pm
by Katie_Duong_1D
You: Laurence Lavelle
Me, an intellectual: Lawrencium (Lr) LaVelveetaCheese

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:24 pm
by mahika_nayak_3L
I would post something original, but all of the good chemistry jokes Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:59 pm
by Karla_Ocampo 4E
What do you do with a dead chemist?
"Barium" (Ba)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:06 pm
by Nicolle Fernandez 1E
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:46 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: Have you heard about the one a chemist that was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:50 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
I try to tell good chemistry jokes but there's not reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:55 pm
by Sarah Zhao 4C
What do you get when you put Avogadro's number in the blender?

GuacaMOLE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:45 pm
by michellebui_3L
I can't think of any more chemistry jokes. Because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:50 pm
by michellebui_3L
What did one ion say to the other ion? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2018 10:55 pm
by michellebui_3L
All of these chemistry jokes are sodium funny. I slapped my neon all of them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 12:28 pm
by Ronak Singh
Don't trust atoms...they make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 4:47 pm
by aaronharouni
Why aren't there any good chemistry jokes?

Because they all Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:10 pm
by Ronak Singh
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite.
He said NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:22 pm
by Lydia Luong 4L
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 11:40 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:26 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Always bring your problems to a chemist, they have all kinds of solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:55 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Take all the bad chemistry puns and barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:39 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
A chemist and his friend go into a bar. The chemist says "I'll have some h2o, please." His friend says, "I'll have some h2o, too." His friend is now dead.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:34 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:38 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:42 pm
by Angela Cong 3C
I tried to tell a chemistry joke but it got no reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:11 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Where do atoms gather to eat dinner?

The periodic table!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:16 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Julia Cheng 1B wrote:Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.


He He ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:02 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and. yttrium?
it was CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:06 pm
by 404817859
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:13 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What is an Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A chemistree!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:39 pm
by Isabelle_Maletz_3E
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 11:53 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:00 am
by Sydney Takeda 2I
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

LABORATORY RETRIEVERS :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:25 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
I saw this joke on Twitter and though I'd share it...

Q: Why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it is made up of alkynes of people.

haha, knee slapper!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:43 pm
by Pipiena Malafu 3J
Are you the eleventh element of the periodic table because you're sodium fine B-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 5:19 pm
by Kaylee Kang 1G
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:08 pm
by marinhaluza_1
I don't trust atoms.... I hear they're into everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:11 pm
by marinhaluza_1
Afraid of losing an electron? It's okay, I'll keep an ion it.