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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:28 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: Do you have mole problems?
A: If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:55 pm
by Yiting_Gong_4L
I try to tell chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:24 pm
by Shuyi Yu 1B
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium then you might as well barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:25 pm
by Shuyi Yu 1B
Do you know any jokes about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:26 pm
by Shuyi Yu 1B
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes

because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:13 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
What would you call a clown in jail? A Silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:16 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Why did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He touched the glass before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:34 pm
by ElliotPourdavoud 1A
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?


.....it went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:52 pm
by 804994652
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:52 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?


Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 11:21 am
by vaishali 1D
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 2:50 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why are chemists great at solving problems?

They have all the solutions!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 2:53 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
I heard organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:44 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:45 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:48 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 5:59 pm
by Angela Cong 3C
Take all your lame chemistry jokes, and Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 6:31 pm
by MichaelMoreno2G
Q: Do you know any organic chemistry jokes?
A: I know Alkynes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 8:57 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
i try to tell chemistry jokes, but there is no reaction :/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:05 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:09 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?






2NA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:15 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?









guaca-mole

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:17 pm
by RandallNeeDis3K
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium ions?


2 Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 10:35 am
by Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B
You're a 10? On the pH scale maybe, cuz you're basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 10:41 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: What type of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 12:34 am
by Sydney Tay 2B
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:16 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:16 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:18 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Why couldn't the photon go to sleep? Because it was full of energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:06 pm
by michellebui_3L
Q: When a king farts, what type of gas is it?

A: A noble gas.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:17 pm
by michellebui_3L
Q: What did the scientist say when he discovered 2 Helium atoms?

A: He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:19 pm
by michellebui_3L
Q: Why can't we trust atoms?

A: Because they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:36 pm
by Becky Belisle 1A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:31 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
- It was CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:33 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Did you hear about oxygen's date with potassium?
- It went OK!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:34 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
-Because it's pretty basic stuff!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:57 pm
by michellebui_3L
Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A: A mean-oh-acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:28 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
One guacamole is 6.022x10^23 guaca; also known as Avacado's constant.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:30 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
What did the scientist say when she found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:33 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
"OH SNaP!" said the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:21 pm
by Ethan Nishikawa 4D
Q: What should you do if nobody laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:22 pm
by Ethan Nishikawa 4D
Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
A: NaBrO!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:24 pm
by Ethan Nishikawa 4D
Q: Did you hear about Potassium's date with Oxygen?
A: Yeah, I heard it went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:42 pm
by Liza Hayrapetyan-3K
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:31 pm
by abbydouglas1K
Don't trust atoms they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:00 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:09 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
A: He touched the beaker for it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:16 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:39 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
You must be made of copper and tellurium because you're CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:50 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you're sodium fine!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:51 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why aren't chemists ever able to prank their friends?

Because they lack the element of surprise!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:32 pm
by vaishali 1D
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?


Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:34 pm
by vaishali 1D
What is "HIJKLMNO"?


H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:58 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 12:59 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, a lot of things actually.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:01 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:32 pm
by ElliotPourdavoud 1A
What is a cation afraid of? A Dogion!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 6:10 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 6:13 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 8:49 pm
by LedaKnowles2E
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?


...because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 8:55 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 9:49 pm
by Angela Cong 3C
Chemistry? More like Chemystery

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 9:52 pm
by 404817859
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones are Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:40 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
Why can't you trust atoms?







They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:46 pm
by Luis_Yepez_1F
Q. What do you do with a dead chemist?
A. You Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:49 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
If H20 is the chemical formula for water, what is the formula for ice?







H20 cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:51 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
What did the two scientists that fell in love say to each other?




We have a lot of chemistry.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:21 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:22 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:23 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 6:41 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
courtesy of the wonderful world of Twitter

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:31 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
How about the chemical workers are they unIONized ?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:32 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:47 pm
by Jim Brown 14B Lec1
salttime.jpg
salttime

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:16 am
by vaishali 1D
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table


...but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:16 am
by vaishali 1D
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?


It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 11:13 am
by vaishali 1D
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:45 am
by marinhaluza_1
What is a chemist's favorite kind of dog?

A lab!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:48 am
by marinhaluza_1
A photon walks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 10:57 am
by Kevin ODonnell 2B
Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next? Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - Na - BATMAN

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 2:21 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 2:22 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 2:23 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 4:25 pm
by MaiaRodriguezChoi3E
A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop says "Can we help you with your luggage?". The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm traveling light"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 6:33 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be okay?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 6:35 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 6:37 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

A: He got Avogadro’s number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 1:12 pm
by Rachel-Weisz3C
Did you know protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 3:52 pm
by almaochoa2D
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 4:00 pm
by ArielKim3C
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 4:36 pm
by RandallNeeDis3K
I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:08 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
A mole of moles would collapse under its own weight and become a black mole.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:09 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:09 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
What element derives from a Norse go.d? Thorium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:10 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:12 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:13 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why did carbon marry hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:18 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:19 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:20 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke." The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies,
"For you? No charge."