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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:28 pm
by Louis Zhao 4C
A covalent bond yells at an ionic bond, "Didn't anybody ever teach you how to share?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 6:54 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 7:00 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Julia Cheng 1B wrote:What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 8:29 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
Natalie Liu 4I wrote:A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke." The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies,
"For you? No charge."


haha! that took me a while to understand but eventually i got it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 9:15 pm
by Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B
saw this on facebook

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 9:32 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
the 119th element

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 10:48 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
Image

avogadro reax only

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 10:54 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
These jokes are all so funny, I slapped my neon a bunch of them

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:31 pm
by 404817859
what kind of fish is made out of two atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:37 pm
by Angela Cong 3C
If avagrado calls, tell him to leave his number ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:44 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:45 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:45 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:52 pm
by ElliotPourdavoud 1A
What show do Cesium and Iodine love watching with one another?



CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 12:59 pm
by 105085381
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 1:00 pm
by 105085381
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 1:01 pm
by 105085381
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:59 pm
by vaishali 1D
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:01 pm
by vaishali 1D
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?


A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:05 pm
by vaishali 1D
Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?

A: A mole of molasses.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:07 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
During midterm szn try to be like a proton and stay positive

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:12 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
I would post another chemistry joke, but all the funny ones argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:14 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:17 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q ... 6229157001

Great meme guys, please take the time to click the link

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:04 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
What is a cation scared of? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:05 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:07 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Whats the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry you never lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 2:48 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
I'm all out of chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 2:50 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 2:54 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, NO CHARGE."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 3:13 pm
by Selina Bellin 2B
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking lmao

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 3:19 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
Thanks

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 3:20 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
Thanks

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 3:20 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
that's hilarious

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 4:38 pm
by 505095972
OMG! Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a couple?!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 4:40 pm
by 505095972
OMG! Did you hear that Magnesium and Oxygen are a couple?!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:04 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
How did the political science major define free radical on his chemistry exam?

A wild protestor.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:06 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
What do you call a joke that has cobalt, radon, and yttrium in it?

CoRnY!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:08 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

h2o-cubed!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:45 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:46 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 3:46 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:31 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
What kind of dogs to chemists have?
- Laboratory retrievers!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:33 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Think like a proton and stay positive!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:35 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?

A: I've got my ion you!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:36 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:37 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:39 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:41 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:52 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
oof

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:10 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:10 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:11 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:43 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
2Na!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:27 pm
by vaishali 1D
I don't trust atoms...

I heard they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:29 pm
by vaishali 1D
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 6:30 pm
by vaishali 1D
Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 8:15 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 9:13 pm
by ElliotPourdavoud 1A
The human body is primarily composed of Carbon, Hydrogen, and Oxygen, and a little bit of Sodium, so that means we're 100% NaCHO ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:12 am
by Nawaphan Watanasirisuk 3B
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:07 am
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Whats the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:08 am
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, “AU, get out of here!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:14 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:14 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:15 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:41 pm
by Leslie Cheng 4B
"Did you lose an electron? I'm going to keep ion on it"

Cation: noun
an atom with a paw-sitive charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 2:04 pm
by marinhaluza_1
All I want for Christmas is... Yttirium, Oxygen, and Uranium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 2:06 pm
by marinhaluza_1
Polar bears are really good at working together in chemistry because they create polar bonds.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:40 am
by shaunajava2e
what is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:41 am
by shaunajava2e
!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:43 am
by shaunajava2e
all the good chemistry jokes Argon, i think we should take the bad ones and Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:37 pm
by Alyssa Wilson 2A
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:08 pm
by Celine Hoh 2L
Not quite chem related but..
Why do many pre-med students want to donate their bodies to research after they die?

Because that is the only way for them to get into med school.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:18 pm
by 805169754
Why cant you drink CH2O?
'cause its seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:22 pm
by 805169754
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
its a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:30 pm
by 805169754
I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:49 pm
by 505095972
I know my friends don't like chemistry jokes... but I tell them periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:06 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:12 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What's a cation?

An ion with a paws-itive charge!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2018 6:21 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:45 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:56 am
by Chris Freking 2G
IMG_3219.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 1:13 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 4:35 pm
by ChelseaMae3D
Have you heard of the new element on the periodic table?

Ah! the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 5:01 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 5:02 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 5:03 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 5:03 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:00 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:03 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What was Avogrado's favorite sport?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:35 pm
by ArielKim3C
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:36 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Why aren't chemists ever able to prank their friends?
Because they lack the element of surprise

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:37 pm
by ArielKim3C
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 9:06 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 10:51 pm
by Angela Cong 3C
Chemistry is Fluorine, Uranium, Nitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:00 pm
by Eruchi Okpara 2E
That was sodium funny.

I slapped my neon that one!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:02 pm
by Adriana_4H
What do you do to a dead chemist?

You barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:21 pm
by 404817859
What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:29 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:30 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.