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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2018 1:45 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2018 1:46 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 4:01 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 4:01 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 4:02 pm
by Zack Barta 3I
haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:48 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:10 pm
by 505095972
Do you want to hear a post about Nitric Oxide?

NO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:10 pm
by 505095972
When I tell chemistry jokes, I normally get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:13 pm
by 705022748
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 12:36 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 12:37 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 12:37 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:18 am
by Natalie Liu 4I
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:27 am
by Natalie Liu 4I
What did one charged atom say to the other?
I’ve got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:36 am
by Natalie Liu 4I
Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 3:56 pm
by vaishali 1D
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 3:56 pm
by vaishali 1D
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 3:57 pm
by vaishali 1D
Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:44 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Every dipole has its moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:46 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:47 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:48 pm
by Liza Hayrapetyan-3K
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:49 pm
by Liza Hayrapetyan-3K
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 5:36 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What show does cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 5:42 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar?

OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 5:55 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 6:12 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 6:59 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:02 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
What does Mariah Carey want for Christmas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:16 pm
by sonalivij
I post bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Ar(gone) :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:43 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:44 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Organic chemists talking about d-orbitals is cultural appropriation at its worst.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:44 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:46 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:50 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:53 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:28 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:39 pm
by 404817859
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:00 pm
by 805169754
How was Oxygen's date with Potassium?
It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:22 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:24 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:27 pm
by 405169322
Q: What did one angry water molecule say to the other water molecule?
A: Get bent!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:46 pm
by 405098546
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:50 pm
by 805169754
Did you hear about the dude who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 12:31 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? A: “You May have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 12:31 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 12:32 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 1:48 pm
by Brian Cook
How do you post on Chemistry Community?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:32 pm
by vaishali 1D
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:33 pm
by vaishali 1D
I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:34 pm
by vaishali 1D
What's a pirate's favorite element? (your victim may assume "arrrrgon".)


Gold.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 4:34 pm
by vaishali 1D
Why did the bear dissolve in water?



Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:42 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:44 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 6:44 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:19 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:20 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
What kind of fish is made up of sodium?
2 Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:38 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:39 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:40 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:37 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:38 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:44 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What would you call a remake of the film Tron?

neutron!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:13 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:14 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:15 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:36 am
by rachana_korapati3C
I would tell another chemistry joke...
... but all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:39 am
by rachana_korapati3C
Q: did you know proton's have mass?
A: i didn't even know they were catholic...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 12:36 pm
by Jim Brown 14B Lec1
unnamed.jpg
sodium chloride

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:06 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:10 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
How did the political science major define free radical on his chemistry exam?
A wild protestor

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:11 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
Avocados number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:17 pm
by Esther Lee 4H
did y'all hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero? he's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:40 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
a chem roast:

you a 10? maybe on a pH scale, cuz you're basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:56 pm
by Vana Mirzakhani 3I
A: What's the formula for water?
B: H I J K L M N O
A: That's wrong!
B: Nope, the formula is H to O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:14 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
What's a chemist's favorite pet?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:16 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
me, coming back from break

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:21 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
14/14

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:13 pm
by 804994652
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:14 pm
by 404817859
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:17 pm
by 804994652
once i told a chemistry joke...there was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:18 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:20 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:21 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:26 pm
by 805169754
I tried to tell a joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium
it was CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:29 pm
by 805169754
Do you know what went down between Sodium and Hydrogen?
NaH

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:30 pm
by 804994652
What is the gender of Iron Man?
Fe Male

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:55 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:56 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Did you read the book about Helium? I heard you can't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:57 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:44 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:45 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:46 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:13 am
by Angela Cordova 3F
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:13 am
by Angela Cordova 3F
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:14 am
by Angela Cordova 3F
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table, but I realized that it wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 2:33 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 2:36 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 2:38 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. They really bonded.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:28 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium