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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:30 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:31 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:08 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
What do you call a pawsitive kitten? A cation

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:10 pm
by Tyler Vu 4I
The formula for ice is H2O^cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:55 pm
by Searra Harding 4I
The name's bond...sigma bond. (hope you all get the reference)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:19 pm
by Aiden Atoori 1C
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:50 pm
by 904837647
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:50 pm
by 904837647
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:51 pm
by 904837647
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:45 pm
by Anne Kim 3F
Not a chem joke, but Lavelle looks like Larry David

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 10:51 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Do you know any sodium jokes?

Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 10:52 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What did cobalt and aluminum get for Christmas?

CoAl! :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 10:57 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 4:35 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Are made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon?
Because you are F-I-Ne.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 6:54 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 2:44 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
take all ur lame chem jokes and... barium!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:18 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Every dipole has its moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:21 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
I hate learning about electrons. I get so Bohr'd!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 9:11 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
good luck on finals everyone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 9:12 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
and happy holidays :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:09 pm
by 404817859
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:59 pm
by ElliotPourdavoud 1A
I don't trust atoms.... I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:14 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
What type of tree did the scientist get for Christmas?

A chemisTREE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:15 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Jokes about Na are sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:19 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Don’t worry. Oxidents happen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:42 am
by Jonas Talandis
What is the chemical formula for a Banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 5:40 pm
by vaishali 1D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 5:49 pm
by vaishali 1D
Organic chemistry is difficult.


Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:44 pm
by Millicent Navarro 1I
I try to tell Chemistry jokes but there are no reactions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:38 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:39 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:39 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:40 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:41 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:42 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 1:45 pm
by Pooja Sheladiya 1L
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:38 pm
by Rachel Dang 1H
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:39 pm
by Rachel Dang 1H
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:40 pm
by Rachel Dang 1H
What’s Iron Man’s favorite amusement park ride?
The ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:40 pm
by Rachel Dang 1H
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:43 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:45 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A (fe)rrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:46 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:47 pm
by Jason Madeloso 4H
Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:06 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
There was a chemist reading a book about helium.


….He just couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:07 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:07 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:07 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:08 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:08 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:09 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:11 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
A person asked a chemist "What's new?"
The chemist replied: "C over Lambda"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:12 pm
by Kunseo Yook 2E
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:20 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a beer?
The barman says "For you, no charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:22 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?

OMg!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:26 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Chemistry jokes are boron, but physics jokes have potential!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 1:54 am
by RandallNeeDis3K
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:00 am
by shaunajava2e
Don't tell jokes to noble gases you'll get no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:00 am
by shaunajava2e
The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 4:08 pm
by chrisdinkel_4E
VSPER? I hardly know her!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:26 am
by Tyler Vu 4I
What is Garfield's favorite part of chemistry? Lanthanum-Sulfur-Silver-Sodium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:46 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:46 am
by diana_calderon_4L
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:46 am
by diana_calderon_4L
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:47 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:47 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:47 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:11 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:12 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:12 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:13 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:14 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:05 am
by rachana_korapati3C
Q: What did the pregnant scientist say at the end of her electrolysis experiment?
A: "My water broke."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:06 am
by rachana_korapati3C
Q: Why shouldn't you believe anything alcohol says?
A: 'Cause alkyl ha-lide

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:54 pm
by Angela Cordova 3F
After a whole day of getting to know each other, the cation finally finds the courage to ask the anion to swap numbers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:49 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
HOH, HOH, HOH!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:50 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What is the dullest element?
Bohrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:14 pm
by 805169754
What do you do with a sick chemist?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:18 pm
by 805169754
When I learned how many electrons an oxygen atom needs to fill its first orbital, I was like :O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:19 pm
by 805169754
What's the fastest Noble gas?
Neeeeeon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:20 pm
by 805169754
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:30 pm
by 805169754
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:36 pm
by 805169754
If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:37 pm
by 805169754
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:53 pm
by Nathan Tran 4K
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?

How did it go?

It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:09 pm
by Jackie Ngo 1C
"What kind of bear is soluble in water?"
"A polar bear!!!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:20 pm
by Jackie Ngo 1C
"Anyone know any jokes about sodium?"
"Na"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:22 pm
by Jackie Ngo 1C
"What's the chemical formula for banana?"
"BaNa2"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:25 pm
by Jackie Ngo 1C
"Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?"
"Because it's some pretty basic stuff"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:32 pm
by Jackie Ngo 1C
"you must be made of copper and tellurium! because you're so CuTe" ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:35 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
Jackie Ngo 1C wrote:"you must be made of copper and tellurium! because you're so CuTe" ;)

im laughing ur jokes are so funny!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 10:52 pm
by Claire Aseremo 1D
I lost another electron. You really have to keep an ion them.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:15 am
by shaunajava2e
You must be full of copper and tellurium because you're CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:23 pm
by havishgattu
A neutron walks into a bar and asks “how much for a beer?” The bartender smiles and responds “ for you, no charge” :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:28 pm
by vaishali 1D
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

A: They are cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:29 pm
by vaishali 1D
Q: How can you tell the chemist in the restroom?

A: He washes his hands BEFORE he goes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:29 pm
by vaishali 1D
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?

A: He got Avogadro’s number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:32 pm
by Ashe Chen 2C
Two scientists sit down at a restaurant

The first scientist: I'll have H2O
The second scientist: I'll have H20, also.
The second scientist’s arch nemesis disguised as a waiter: [under breath] so close....

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:05 pm
by 505095972
I tried to write a joke about the periodic table... but I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:56 pm
by I am Sodium Funny
Who wants to date, we already have good chemistry... maybe we can find a bond ;)