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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:47 am
by vaishali 1D
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?

A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:48 am
by vaishali 1D
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:10 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:11 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Somebody threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, "That's a salt!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:12 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What's Iron Man's favorite amusement park ride?

A ferrous wheel!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:59 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:05 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:05 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:02 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Old chemists don’t die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:09 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
What's a chemist's favorite genre of music?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:55 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:56 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
good nitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:32 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What don't you understand about copper? It makes perfect CENTS!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:33 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What does Uranium, Nickel, Cobalt, and Radon spell? UNiCoRn!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:38 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
My dog died so I had to barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:58 pm
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:46 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:47 am
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
Q: Why did the attacking army use acid?

A: To neutralize the enemy’s base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:42 pm
by Millicent Navarro 1I
I don't trust atoms. I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 3:29 pm
by havishgattu
I made a chemistry joke and got no reaction. :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:24 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Two chemists walk into a bar. One says, "I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I'll have an H2O too." The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:25 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
I tried writing a joke about the periodic table, but I wasn't in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:25 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Did you hear about the joke about Cobalt, Radon, and Yttrium? It was so CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:40 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He couldn't put it down!

hehe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:41 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Can you take me to a place with no electrons?

Yep, I node way

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:09 pm
by 805169754
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they are cheaper than day rates

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:10 pm
by 805169754
What is the dullest element?
Bohrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:13 pm
by 805169754
What did the chemical agent say?
Name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:24 pm
by 805169754
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:27 pm
by 805169754
My friend stopped learning about electron after he got Bohr'd

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:41 pm
by 805169754
What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:42 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:56 am
by 505095972
What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:57 am
by 505095972
What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:20 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
did u hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:20 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
what is a cation afraid of?
a dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 5:08 pm
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?
A: I’ve got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 11:23 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date...
It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 11:25 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 11:36 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:24 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:24 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:25 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:25 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:26 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:27 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:28 am
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:00 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:00 am
by diana_calderon_4L
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:00 am
by diana_calderon_4L
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:04 pm
by 505095972
If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:06 pm
by 505095972
16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na... BATMAN

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:55 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
John: “Hey that ranger Argon guy, why is he wearing a crown?”

Me: “Because LOTR is a tale about Argon, his friend Boron and their adventures with Zinc, Iron, Aluminum and Mercury.”

(credit to moderngardening.tumblr.com; im sorry this is lame)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:24 am
by vaishali 1D
Q: What is CH2O?

A: Seawater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:22 pm
by Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D
Wanna hear a Potassium joke?
K :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:59 pm
by I am Sodium Funny
Chem_Mod wrote:We had a fun review session on Friday November 7 and I encourage all students to view it as there were many excellent Q&A.

I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:

Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!

Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.


lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:59 pm
by I am Sodium Funny
vaishali 1D wrote:Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?

A: A CaNiNe

lmao

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:00 pm
by I am Sodium Funny
vaishali 1D wrote:Q: What is CH2O?

A: Seawater

saltwater

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:12 pm
by Kriti Goyal 4K 19
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:21 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:22 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Why aren't chemists able to prank their friends?

Because they lack the element of surprise

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:23 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Chemistry jokes are funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:03 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
what do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms in place of carbon atoms?
a ferrous wheel (ugh

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:17 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
four people meet at a tattoo store.
im getting this one, the twenty year old points to a structural formula of dopamine. i wish to attain happiness.
and im getting this, the forty year old points to a structural formula of diazepam. i wish to be free from stress and live in tranquility.
the sixty year old says he wants to have testosterone tattooed.
the remaining man, an eighty year old, says silently
im getting palytoxin

the rest of the people stare at him. "why though?"
the eighty year old sighs: "it's part of my research thesis in total synthesis. i just wish to graduate sooner."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:41 am
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:42 am
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it’s in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:42 am
by davidbakalov_lec2_2L
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: ” Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:22 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:22 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:23 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H-two-O-CUBED

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:00 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:03 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:05 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:41 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
NaCl
NaOH

the base is under a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:45 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:46 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:47 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
(:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:48 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
hahah...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:49 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
it be like that lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:50 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
puns are great

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:54 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:54 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:55 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
:/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:00 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
okay last one...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:04 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Why was the mole of oxygen excited when he left the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:05 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Whats the molecular formula for coffee?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:06 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
What is CH2O?
Seawater.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:11 pm
by Brandon_Tran_2E
acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:10 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
nacl/naoh
the base is under assault.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:49 pm
by jonathanjchang2E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:52 pm
by jonathanjchang2E
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A: C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:48 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:49 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:49 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:50 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:50 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:51 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:51 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:52 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater