CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:52 pm**

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

Posted: **Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:10 pm**

Don't be So Salt - y. I don't know why the Y isn't included at the end lol!

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:01 pm**

I’d tell more chemistry jokes, but the best ones argon.

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:01 pm**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: (H2O)^3.

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:08 pm**

Jonathan Shih 3H wrote:If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.

Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.

Have been trying to figure out the first joke for almost a year and I can't figure out lmao

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:28 pm**

Anna Nordstrom 1A wrote:Enjoy the joke!

hehe moles lol

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:15 pm**

What did the pregnant scientist say at the end of her electrolysis experiment?
"My water broke"

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:16 pm**

Why did chlorine get in trouble for the acid attack?
It was guilt by dissociation.

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:18 pm**

What is Iron Man's gender?
Fe Male

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:22 pm**

I told a chemistry joke on here once, but I didn't get a reaction :C

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:23 pm**

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:23 pm**

I would write a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:24 pm**

An acid with an attitude is jut an a-mean-o-acid

Posted: **Sat Feb 02, 2019 9:25 pm**

What is Cesium and Iodine's favorite drama?

CSI C:

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:13 pm**

y'all should zinc of new chemistry jokes

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:22 pm**

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:23 pm**

Every dipole has its moment

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:34 pm**

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:39 pm**

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Fe-breeze

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:40 pm**

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A chemistree

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:34 pm**

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

*H202 is hydrogen peroxide

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:35 pm**

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:38 pm**

Did you hear the joke about the chemist?
Me neither.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:31 pm**

Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:31 pm**

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:32 pm**

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:33 pm**

All of my good chemistry jokes argon, so I had to resort to this basic one.

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:34 pm**

Beware of enthalpy pirates!
They’ll steal all your joules

Posted: **Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:34 pm**

Entropy: it’s not what it used to be.

Posted: **Mon Feb 04, 2019 1:52 am**

Photons don't ever need help with their luggage, they're traveling light. LOL

Posted: **Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:19 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:20 pm**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Posted: **Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:21 pm**

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Posted: **Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:07 am**

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion

Posted: **Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:07 am**

Every dipole has its moment

Posted: **Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:11 am**

Why do white bears dissolve in water? they're polar

Posted: **Tue Feb 05, 2019 2:28 pm**

a teacher asks three students if they can fill up an entire classroom with something.
half an hour later, student A returns with a sack of flour, shuts the windows, and pours the flour all over the room.
student B lights a candle and brings it into the room.
student C sees this and runs.
student C survives.

Posted: **Tue Feb 05, 2019 2:38 pm**

a photon arrives at a hotel. "do you need to check in your luggage?", the receptionist asks.
"no," the photon replies, "i'm traveling light".
(not exactly chemistry but

Posted: **Thu Feb 07, 2019 5:03 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:32 pm**

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:33 pm**

What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?
Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 3:53 pm**

I don't trust atoms because they make up everything

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:04 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:10 pm**

I started using tinder to ignite up my love life bt it had a negative reaction

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:10 am**

I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.

I promise you’ll be 0K!

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:11 am**

Are you made of fluorine, iodine, and neon?

Becauze you’re FINe!

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:12 am**

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it’s in the ground state!

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:29 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:30 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:30 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:35 pm**

Honestly, it's kinda hard to come up with clever jokes for this thread. All the good ones argon.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:59 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: Silicon

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:25 pm**

i try to post chemistry jokes but theres no reaction

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:25 pm**

how often do i tell chemistry jokes?

periodically

jk weekly

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:27 pm**

the name's bond, ionic bond.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:29 pm**

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:31 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:33 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:49 am**

What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados? Guacamole

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:49 am**

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: ” Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am”.

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:50 am**

Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:00 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

hehehehehe

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:01 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:01 pm**

hehe this ones a goood one

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

hehe get it?

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 8:45 pm**

iphone 6 has four friends.
iphone 6s, iphone 6p, iphone 6d, iphone 6f.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:46 pm**

I can't trust atoms anymore, I heard they make up everything.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:19 pm**

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:20 pm**

Every dipole has their moment.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:20 pm**

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:21 pm**

I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:21 pm**

yo momma so ugly not even fluorine would bond w her.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:22 pm**

Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:24 pm**

Q: What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados?
A: Guacamole

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:24 pm**

Q: Why should you go drinking with neutrons?
A: Wherever they go, there’s no charge.

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:25 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: Silicon

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:40 am**

You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I together

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:42 am**

Are you a carbon sample? Because I'd like to date you.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:46 am**

I told my friend a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction...

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 1:38 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 1:40 pm**

What was the chemists favorite drink?
ChemisTEA

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:45 pm**

Q: What is Josaiah Willard Gibbs' favorite holiday?
A: ThanksGibbing

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:47 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:10 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:11 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 6:01 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 9:02 pm**

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 10:49 pm**

what do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 10:49 pm**

if a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2019 11:48 pm**

OMG

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a couple?

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:03 am**

If a king farts is it a Nobel gas?

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:03 am**

Once i told a chemistry joke... but there was no reaction

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:04 am**

I try to only tell chemistry jokes periodically

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:30 am**

What did one charged atom say to the other? I’ve got my ion you.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 6:38 pm**

I tell biology jokes because all of the chemistry ones argon!

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:24 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

An A-mean-o-acid.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:46 pm**

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:46 pm**

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:51 pm**

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:51 pm**

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:52 pm**

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

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