CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 2:47 pm**

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:02 pm**

I had my ion a great joke, but fluorine stole it :(

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:03 pm**

Whats the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:26 pm**

I'm so tired when I'm chemistry-ing because chem is trying.

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:52 pm**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:33 pm**

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:47 pm**

How does frequency feel when it is injured?
It Hertz!

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:48 pm**

I hated learning about electrons...I got so bohr'd

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:55 pm**

Why was Clark's journal better than Lewis' journal?

Lewis just drew dots instead of writing.

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 7:18 pm**

From ASAPScience.

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:05 pm**

Q:If H20 is water what is H204?
A:Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc...

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:09 pm**

Q: What's "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O

Posted: **Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:23 pm**

You must have 11 protons because you're sodium cute

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:06 am**

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because its in the ground state!

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:00 am**

I hate it when I make a chemistry joke, but there's no reaction.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:50 am**

Chemistry Joke of the Day

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:01 am**

Me @ quiz 2

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:00 am**

The name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared ;)

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:14 am**

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:29 pm**

He died for our sins...

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:38 pm**

cackled out loud when I saw this

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:05 pm**

Why do chemist like nitrates so much?

Cause they're cheaper than day rates :)

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:21 pm**

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:24 pm**

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:14 pm**

Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?

A: Avocado's number.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:17 pm**

Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:25 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:50 pm**

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:07 pm**

A seal is just a neutral sea lion.

like....
without an ion.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:16 pm**

A chemistry lab is like a big party--some drop acid, others drop the base.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:32 pm**

The name's Bond.
Ionic Bond.
Taken not shared.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:25 pm**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!

What do you do with a sick chemist?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:31 pm**

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:40 pm**

Q: What did the student say when he heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date?

A: OMg!!

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:26 pm**

Person #1: Did the doctor tell you about Um?
Person #2: Yes, sadly. He said they couldn't Helium so now they gotta Barium.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:49 pm**

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 8:59 pm**

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:15 pm**

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
－He couldn't put it down

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:58 pm**

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:13 pm**

I heard that oxygen and magnesium were dating, I was like OMg.

Posted: **Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:50 pm**

dont trust atoms, they makeup everything...

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:00 am**

To those who like the Big Bang Theory:)

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:01 am**

Q:What would you call a clown in jail?

A: Silicon (Silly Con)

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:03 pm**

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:10 pm**

Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass contains 50% H2O (l), 39% N2 (g), 10.5% O2 (g), .44% Ar (g), .06% CO2 (g)

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:12 pm**

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:16 pm**

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 3:07 pm**

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:19 pm**

What did the chemist say when he wrote down nitrogen dioxide incorrectly? ONO!!!

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:26 pm**

Oxygen wanted to be knighted but couldn't.
It wasn't noble.

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:35 pm**

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because he was polar. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 5:34 pm**

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:44 pm**

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:17 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron man teamed up, they would be alloys.

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:36 pm**

Although I'm not that great with jokes, when it comes to chemistry, I'm in my element.

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:47 pm**

Don't trust atoms... They make up everything... :/

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:19 pm**

Posted: **Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:39 pm**

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date... It was OK.

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:32 am**

Hahahahahaha
Na: That was sodium funny!
Ne: I slapped my neon that one!

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:35 am**

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:54 am**

A Chem 14A student asks, "Anyone know any jokes about Sodium to post on Chemistry Community?"

Dr. Lavelle answers, "Na."

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:11 pm**

Hey Girl..
Are you made of copper and tellurium because you are CuTe !

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:08 pm**

hydrogen bonds lol

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:29 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:45 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:53 pm**

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:30 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:45 pm**

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:56 pm**

Q: Why should you never trust an atom?
A: They makeup everything!

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 5:20 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:26 pm**

Dr. Lavelle: Know any jokes about sodium?

Me: Na

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:15 pm**

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:25 pm**

How did the chemist get in prison?...

He was charged with a salt and battery.

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:20 pm**

what is a pirate's favorite element?

Arggggggggon

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:30 pm**

Organic chemistry is so difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:41 pm**

I was gonna post a chem joke here, but all the good ones argon

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:52 pm**

What's the charge of cations?

They are "paw"sitive

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:53 pm**

Posted: **Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:22 pm**

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:12 am**

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution!

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:15 am**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:27 am**

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says "Au get out of here"

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:51 am**

It's midterm season, so think like a proton and be positive!

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:32 am**

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:40 am**

Think like a proton - always positive!

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:29 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 3:21 pm**

Q:what is a chemist's favorite plant?
A:stoichiome-tree

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:39 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:42 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:50 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:23 pm**

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater!

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:11 pm**

Heisenberg is driving down the road when a cop pulls him over and asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?"
To which Heisenberg responds, "No, but I know where I was."

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:40 pm**

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:47 pm**

Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:54 pm**

I hate telling noble gas jokes. There's never a reacton.

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:22 pm**

What is a chemist's favorite Power Rangers TV series?
-Power Rangers SP3D

Posted: **Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:03 pm**

Hallow=Hallow : Halloween!

(Double bond means "ene")

Posted: **Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:13 am**

Posted: **Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:38 am**

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Posted: **Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:26 am**

Q: What did the angry electron say when it was repelled?
A: Let me atom!

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