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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 2:47 pm
by sboutros2B
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:02 pm
by Alex Dib 4H
I had my ion a great joke, but fluorine stole it :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:03 pm
by Mikaela Gareeb 3G
Whats the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:26 pm
by Melanie_Wong_1K
I'm so tired when I'm chemistry-ing because chem is trying.

Chemistry Joke

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:52 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:33 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:47 pm
by Catherine Trinh 3K
How does frequency feel when it is injured?
It Hertz!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:48 pm
by Alex Uy 2D
I hated learning about electrons...I got so bohr'd

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:55 pm
by Scott_Anderson_3J
Why was Clark's journal better than Lewis' journal?


Lewis just drew dots instead of writing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 7:18 pm
by JennaMinami1I
From ASAPScience.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 9:05 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
Q:If H20 is water what is H204?
A:Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:09 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q: What's "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:23 pm
by JulieLy_3C
You must have 11 protons because you're sodium cute

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:06 am
by Megan Yabumoto 3K
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because its in the ground state!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:00 am
by Alexander Chen 3N
I hate it when I make a chemistry joke, but there's no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:50 am
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Joke of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:01 am
by Zara_Joshi_3L
Me @ quiz 2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:00 am
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
The name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:14 am
by JAC_2016
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:29 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
He died for our sins...
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 12:38 pm
by Sophia Eliopulos 2I
cackled out loud when I saw this

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:05 pm
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
Why do chemist like nitrates so much?


Cause they're cheaper than day rates :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:21 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:24 pm
by Christopher_Mathe_3B
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?   Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:14 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?

A: Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:17 pm
by Lucy Nakashima 1E
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:25 pm
by em_farag
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:50 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:07 pm
by Jasmine Alcantara 3G
A seal is just a neutral sea lion.

like....
without an ion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:16 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
A chemistry lab is like a big party--some drop acid, others drop the base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:32 pm
by AsthaPatel4B
The name's Bond.
Ionic Bond.
Taken not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:25 pm
by Aashi_Patel_3B
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!


What do you do with a sick chemist?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:31 pm
by Mahta Marefat 1I
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 6:40 pm
by Christian Gequillo 1D
Q: What did the student say when he heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date?

A: OMg!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:26 pm
by Antonio_Zenteno_4E
Person #1: Did the doctor tell you about Um?
Person #2: Yes, sadly. He said they couldn't Helium so now they gotta Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 7:49 pm
by giareyes_2B
How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 8:59 pm
by Melissa Ledesma 2B
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:15 pm
by 404821045
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-He couldn't put it down

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:58 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:13 pm
by Jonathan Marin Dis3A
I heard that oxygen and magnesium were dating, I was like OMg.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:50 pm
by Jand474
dont trust atoms, they makeup everything...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:00 am
by 904605949
To those who like the Big Bang Theory:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:01 am
by Alex Phu 2c
Q:What would you call a clown in jail?

A: Silicon (Silly Con)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:03 pm
by KimberlySalinas_2A
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:10 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass contains 50% H2O (l), 39% N2 (g), 10.5% O2 (g), .44% Ar (g), .06% CO2 (g)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:12 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:16 pm
by Ann Zhang_1M
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 3:07 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:19 pm
by Tyler_Ash_3C
What did the chemist say when he wrote down nitrogen dioxide incorrectly? ONO!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:26 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
Oxygen wanted to be knighted but couldn't.
It wasn't noble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:35 pm
by BlakeMillar4J
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because he was polar. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 5:34 pm
by JudyPham_4J
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:44 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:17 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron man teamed up, they would be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:36 pm
by F Rios 3E
Although I'm not that great with jokes, when it comes to chemistry, I'm in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:47 pm
by Madeline Fox 2B
Don't trust atoms... They make up everything... :/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:19 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Ba

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:39 pm
by David Julfayan 1F
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date... It was OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:32 am
by Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL
Hahahahahaha
Na: That was sodium funny!
Ne: I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:35 am
by Taylor_Yamane_2L
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:54 am
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
A Chem 14A student asks, "Anyone know any jokes about Sodium to post on Chemistry Community?"

Dr. Lavelle answers, "Na."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:11 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
Hey Girl..
Are you made of copper and tellurium because you are CuTe !

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:08 pm
by Abbas_Hakim_1B
hydrogen bonds lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:29 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:45 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:53 pm
by Hung_Sabrina_3N
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:30 pm
by Mason Henrich 3J
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:45 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:56 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: Why should you never trust an atom?
A: They makeup everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 5:20 pm
by Wesley_Rugen_1E
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:26 pm
by Diana_Anum1G
Dr. Lavelle: Know any jokes about sodium?

Me: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:15 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:25 pm
by Paul Ndawula 1D
How did the chemist get in prison?...

He was charged with a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:20 pm
by 004599434
what is a pirate's favorite element?

Arggggggggon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:30 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Organic chemistry is so difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:41 pm
by Daniel La Cava 4B
I was gonna post a chem joke here, but all the good ones argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:52 pm
by Raymond_Guan_1H
What's the charge of cations?

They are "paw"sitive

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:53 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:22 pm
by ginnyyao1L
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:12 am
by Novelpreet_Boparai1N
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:15 am
by Kathrin Magdalani 3J
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:27 am
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says "Au get out of here"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:51 am
by Diondraya_Taylor_1C
It's midterm season, so think like a proton and be positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:32 am
by Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:40 am
by 804748473
Think like a proton - always positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:29 pm
by Jessica Huang 1M
If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 3:21 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Q:what is a chemist's favorite plant?
A:stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:39 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:42 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Chem Jokes!!

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:50 pm
by Alexandria_Leaf_2F
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:23 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:11 pm
by Miya McLaughlin 2B
Heisenberg is driving down the road when a cop pulls him over and asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?"
To which Heisenberg responds, "No, but I know where I was."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:40 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:47 pm
by sboutros2B
Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:54 pm
by Jason Slater 3I
I hate telling noble gas jokes. There's never a reacton.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:22 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
What is a chemist's favorite Power Rangers TV series?
-Power Rangers SP3D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:03 pm
by Shadi_Keyvani_1D
Hallow=Hallow : Halloween!







(Double bond means "ene")

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:13 am
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:38 am
by Ashley T 2H
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:26 am
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What did the angry electron say when it was repelled?
A: Let me atom!