CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:56 pm**

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:59 pm**

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O³

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:00 pm**

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:01 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:35 pm**

What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:36 pm**

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:36 pm**

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:37 pm**

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:38 pm**

What did the cashier say to Gibbs when he bought an energy drink?

"Don't worry about it. It's free.”

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:02 pm**

A HUG without "U" would be toxic

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:04 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:05 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:06 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:07 pm**

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:39 pm**

Why do chemistry teachers like to teach about ammonia?
It’s pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:41 pm**

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:42 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:15 pm**

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ION them."

hahahhahahhaa

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:16 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:16 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:10 am**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:10 am**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:11 am**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:28 pm**

Did you hear Magnesium and Oxygen are a couple now?? OMg!!

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:09 am**

@ the midterm thissss yearrrrrr

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:15 am**

Hello, while I was procrastinating my studies, I drew Lavelle! Thought I would share this with all of you!! Thanks for being a great professor !

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:39 am**

Which element is a girl's best friend?
Carbon (diamond).

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:40 am**

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because it's in ground state.

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:41 am**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:59 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 1:00 pm**

If I steal your electrons would I be legally charged?

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:11 pm**

Wow, chemistry jokes are Sodium funny

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:11 pm**

^ I slapped my Neon that one

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:12 pm**

Chemistry Community is such a great resource so I only try to post jokes periodically

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:20 pm**

Physical chemists must be rich because they have so many joules!! Hehe

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:45 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:46 pm**

haha...

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:48 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:54 pm**

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 8:54 pm**

lol ...

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:21 pm**

Spongebob memes never get old...

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:22 pm**

yikes..

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:23 pm**

ouch..

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:23 pm**

haha...

Posted: **Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:24 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:48 am**

What does it mean when electrons lose energy?

They're Bohr-ed!

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:48 am**

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:49 am**

Why is it best to teach thermodynamics on a cliff?

Because there's more potential there!

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:16 pm**

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:18 pm**

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium... Batman

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:19 pm**

None of these jokes are catalyzing a reaction from

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:21 pm**

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:22 pm**

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:22 pm**

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:41 pm**

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:57 pm**

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:59 pm**

Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you're Be-Au-Ti-ful!

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:01 pm**

Posted: **Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:50 pm**

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 12:00 am**

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:03 pm**

I’ll tell you a joke about a tiny amount of iron for a small Fe

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:08 pm**

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0k.

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm**

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Posted: **Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:10 pm**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:31 am**

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base!

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:31 am**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:32 am**

Old chemists never die…
They just stop reacting!

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:43 pm**

Two men walk into a bar. the first man orders H2O, the second man asks for "H2O too". the second man dies.

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:44 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? a one molar solution

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:45 pm**

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bar tender how much for a soft drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge!"

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:44 pm**

What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:44 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:58 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:01 pm**

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:50 pm**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:51 pm**

Why are chemists good at solving problems? They have all the solutions.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:52 pm**

Why do chemists like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:34 pm**

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?
A: H2O.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm**

Q: What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm**

Q: What is CH2O?
A: Seawater

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:35 pm**

I’d tell more chemistry jokes, but the best ones argon.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:36 pm**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: (H2O)3.

Posted: **Sat Mar 02, 2019 10:36 pm**

Q: What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados?
A: Guacamole

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 4:20 pm**

take all ur lame chem jokes and barium

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 5:06 pm**

some jokes for you

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 6:25 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:43 pm**

What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
Water.

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:48 pm**

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A KNiFe.

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:52 pm**

I hated learning about electrons. I got so Bohr'd.

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:04 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:10 pm**

Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:12 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Posted: **Sun Mar 03, 2019 8:24 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:06 am**

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium because you're a real BaBe

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:07 am**

I'm out of good chemistry jokes...
I should zinc of some new ones

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:09 am**

What is CH2O called?

Seawater!

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:42 am**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:42 am**

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

Posted: **Mon Mar 04, 2019 3:43 am**

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon

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