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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:04 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic, really.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:05 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
Chemistry is a lot like cooking, only you really shouldn't lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:07 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:19 pm
by Emilia z
I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.
He was 0k.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:20 pm
by Emilia z
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:21 pm
by Emilia z
Do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2019 9:51 pm
by Julia Lung 1I
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?


2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:20 pm
by 805169754
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:21 pm
by 805169754
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:21 pm
by 805169754
What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:22 pm
by 805169754
I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.
I promise you'll be 0K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:23 pm
by 805169754
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, "That's a salt!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:24 pm
by 805169754
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:25 pm
by 805169754
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have an ‎H2O." The other says, "I'll have an ‎H2O, too." The second chemist died

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:26 pm
by 805169754
I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 4:06 pm
by 805169754
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 4:31 pm
by 805169754
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:01 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
keep telling them until you get a reaction.

(ughhhhhhhhhhhh)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:03 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Two atoms are walking down a street.
One of them shouts, "Hey, I lost an electron!"
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:04 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
The best thing about learning about equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:04 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Learning about electrons is exciting, they bring chemistry to a whole new level.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 1:48 pm
by 505095972
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 1:49 pm
by 505095972
Q: What is the dullest element?
A: Bohrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:10 pm
by Samantha Silva 1F
We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:05 pm
by Gracie Ge 2E
found this online.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:02 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get out of here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:03 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:05 pm
by Julia Cheng 4C
Got mole problems?
Call Avogadro at 602-1023!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:08 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:09 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:12 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
What did one ion say to the other?
I’ve got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:06 pm
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:07 pm
by Gisselle Sainz 2F
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:23 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:24 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:24 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:28 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
(you're welcome)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:28 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Fe = Iron and Male = Man
Therefore, Female = Ironman

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 2:44 am
by Edward Suarez 1I
two chemists walk into a bar
one says i'll have an h2o
the other says i'll have an h2o too

the second chemist dies...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 2:49 am
by Edward Suarez 1I
if avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:47 pm
by Emilia z
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:48 pm
by Emilia z
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:49 pm
by Emilia z
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:56 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:57 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 12:57 pm
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:00 pm
by Tuong Nguyen 2I
I was gonna tell a chemistry joke, but then I thought "Na... no one would get it."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 10:23 pm
by Julia Lung 1I
What's the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?

Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 10:33 pm
by Julia Lung 1I
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

It's the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2019 10:33 pm
by Julia Lung 1I
I would tell another chemistry joke
...but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:03 am
by LaurenJuul_1B
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.”
The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:04 am
by LaurenJuul_1B
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:34 pm
by 905084274
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:35 pm
by 905084274
All the best chemistry jokes...Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:35 pm
by 905084274
If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:29 am
by Priscilla Okaiteye
I thought this was kind of cute when I saw it...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:59 am
by Priscilla Okaiteye
Pick up line joke:

You must be a compound of Barium and Beryllium because you are a
BaBe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:45 pm
by Nikki Bych 1I
Why do chemistry do well when working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:47 pm
by Nikki Bych 1I
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a POLAR bear!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:32 pm
by Millicent Navarro 1I
Lose an electron? Gotta keep ion it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:41 pm
by vaishali 1D
Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of problems.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:41 pm
by vaishali 1D
What element derives from a Norse [censored]?

Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:42 pm
by vaishali 1D
What would you call a clown in jail?

Silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:48 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:49 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:50 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
haha..

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:55 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:55 pm
by Ivana Gutierrez 2L
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:15 pm
by Kriti Goyal 4K 19
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:16 pm
by Kriti Goyal 4K 19
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 11:17 pm
by Kriti Goyal 4K 19
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:01 am
by Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D
What do you call an acid with attitude?
An a-mean-o Acid

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:37 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:37 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:38 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:39 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:39 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:40 am
by Kevin Nguyen 2H
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:26 am
by Eruchi Okpara 2E
I try to tell Chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:34 pm
by Jonathan Christie 1I
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:13 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:14 pm
by varunhariharan
I am trying to think of more chemistry jokes by they all argon...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:55 pm
by Celio_G_Dis2C
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:56 pm
by Celio_G_Dis2C
: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:57 pm
by Celio_G_Dis2C
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:01 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
A chemistry lab is a lot like a party! Some drop acid, some drop the bass.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:02 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:03 pm
by MichelleTran 1I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:47 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
Lady Ga^2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:48 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:50 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:50 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:52 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:53 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:56 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:58 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:59 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:01 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
we love sodium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:03 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
(this was accidental im sorry)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:04 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
whoops