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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:06 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:10 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:11 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:12 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:48 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
OMG did you know that Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:49 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
Are you made out of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're CuTe!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:50 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
All the good Chemistry jokes Argon :(
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:01 am
by I am Sodium Funny
He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am
by I am Sodium Funny
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
Na BrO.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK
(this one was bad even by my standards
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:05 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
best one by far
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am
by I am Sodium Funny
I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.
I promise you’ll be 0K.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it is its basic material.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.”
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
It takes alkynes to make a world. (ACS Bumper Sticker)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:11 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:12 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why does formic acid neutralize all other acids? Because it’s an ant-acid! [Formic acid is the venom in red ant stings.]
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:42 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Did you know you can lower your body temperature to -273 Degrees Celsius and still be 0K?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I wanted to write a joke about the periodic table, but I didn't feel like I was in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:47 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:48 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Every dipole has their moment.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:49 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:50 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:51 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Why does the army use acid?
To neutralize their enemy base.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What do you call one tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What did one charged atom say to anther?
I've got my ion you.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:58 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What happened to the man with sodium chloride and a 9-V in his car?
He was booked for a-salt and battery.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:08 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:09 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I wish I had more chemistry jokes, but I can only think of them periodically.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:26 pm
by varunhariharan
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:27 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:43 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:44 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:19 pm
by taywebb
What would you do with a dead scientist? Just Barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:37 pm
by Priscilla Okaiteye
Get it... xD
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:56 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:57 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
My jokes are kinda boron.. but a lot of the good ones argon.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.
The teacher said my effort was the best.
I nailed it.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What do you call a scientific plant?
Chemis-tree.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:11 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.
He said, "Si."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:00 am
by Sean_Rodriguez_1J
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:22 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
Where was the salt bridge sent when it committed a crime?
The galvanic cells
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:24 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
How did the ion cross the road?
It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:26 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:28 am
by Sarah Zhao 4C
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:29 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:31 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?
My final grade - don’t you C?
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
It is D best.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:35 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
It just wasn't meant to B.
Is this A joke?
It is D best!
F that.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:51 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Why can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything haha
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?
yikes that wasn't such hot joke.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:53 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:33 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
u know what's a joke?
my grade on that final :(
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:37 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:52 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
this is physics but I mean
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:55 pm
by Anita Wong 1H
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:56 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
ok
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:57 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
it's been fun
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:16 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
What kind of fish is made out of sodium?
2 Na
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:30 pm
by 904837647
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:32 pm
by 904837647
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:33 pm
by 904837647
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:35 pm
by 904837647
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:38 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
- tumblr_pf6bjokxQ81tv47luo1_400.jpg (13.5 KiB) Viewed 54169 times
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
- tumblr_pgr5atH2at1rrtmam_400.jpg (33.06 KiB) Viewed 54169 times
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:44 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:45 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:46 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
- tumblr_pkf4hsGJFB1v8f12l_400.jpg (44.21 KiB) Viewed 54169 times
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:59 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
element 1: That was sodium funny!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:06 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:03 pm
by 904837647
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:04 pm
by 904837647
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:08 pm
by 904837647
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:17 pm
by 904837647
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:26 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:27 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.