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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:06 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:10 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:11 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:12 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:48 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
OMG did you know that Oxygen and Magnesium were a couple?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:49 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
Are you made out of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:50 am
by Lydia Luong 4L
All the good Chemistry jokes Argon :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:01 am
by I am Sodium Funny
He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:02 am
by I am Sodium Funny
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:03 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?

Na BrO.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?

It went OK

(this one was bad even by my standards

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:04 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?

Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:05 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.

I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?

Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
best one by far

Why did the attacking army use acid?

To neutralize the enemy’s base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am
by I am Sodium Funny
What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?

“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 am
by I am Sodium Funny
I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.

I promise you’ll be 0K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:09 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it is its basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, “If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:10 am
by I am Sodium Funny
It takes alkynes to make a world. (ACS Bumper Sticker)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:11 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:12 am
by I am Sodium Funny
Why does formic acid neutralize all other acids? Because it’s an ant-acid! [Formic acid is the venom in red ant stings.]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:42 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Did you know you can lower your body temperature to -273 Degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:46 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I wanted to write a joke about the periodic table, but I didn't feel like I was in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:47 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:48 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Every dipole has their moment.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:49 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:50 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:51 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
Why does the army use acid?
To neutralize their enemy base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What do you call one tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:54 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What did one charged atom say to anther?
I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:56 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:58 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What happened to the man with sodium chloride and a 9-V in his car?
He was booked for a-salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:08 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:09 am
by Nikki Bych 1I
I wish I had more chemistry jokes, but I can only think of them periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:26 pm
by varunhariharan
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:27 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:43 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:44 pm
by varunhariharan
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:19 pm
by taywebb
What would you do with a dead scientist? Just Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:37 pm
by Priscilla Okaiteye
Get it... xD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:56 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:57 pm
by Kassidy Tran 1E
My jokes are kinda boron.. but a lot of the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.

The teacher said my effort was the best.

I nailed it.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:08 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
A neutron walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What do you call a scientific plant?

Chemis-tree.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:09 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:11 pm
by diana_calderon_4L
I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.

He said, "Si."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:00 am
by Sean_Rodriguez_1J
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:22 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
Where was the salt bridge sent when it committed a crime?

The galvanic cells

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:24 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
How did the ion cross the road?

It didn’t. It used the salt bridge instead!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:26 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:28 am
by Sarah Zhao 4C
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:29 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:31 am
by Julia Cheng 4C
Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:What’s the funniest chemistry joke?

My final grade - don’t you C?


It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?


It is D best.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:35 am
by Claire Aseremo 1D
Julia Cheng 4C wrote:
Claire Aseremo 1D wrote:
Sarah Zhao 4C wrote:
It just wasn't meant to B.


Is this A joke?


It is D best!


F that.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:51 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

yikes that wasn't such hot joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:52 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:53 am
by Salena Chowdri 1I
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:33 pm
by Edward Suarez 1I
u know what's a joke?

my grade on that final :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:37 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm
by Natalie Liu 4I
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. It was such a silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:52 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
this is physics but I mean

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:55 pm
by Anita Wong 1H

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:56 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
ok

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:57 pm
by Sydney Takeda 2I
it's been fun

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:16 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
What kind of fish is made out of sodium?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:30 pm
by 904837647
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:32 pm
by 904837647
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:33 pm
by 904837647
Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:35 pm
by 904837647
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:38 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:42 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
tumblr_p520auZqNw1w24mito1_500.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
tumblr_pf6bjokxQ81tv47luo1_400.jpg
tumblr_pf6bjokxQ81tv47luo1_400.jpg (13.5 KiB) Viewed 20482 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:43 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
tumblr_pgr5atH2at1rrtmam_400.jpg
tumblr_pgr5atH2at1rrtmam_400.jpg (33.06 KiB) Viewed 20482 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:44 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:45 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:46 pm
by Brianna Brockman 1F
tumblr_pkf4hsGJFB1v8f12l_400.jpg
tumblr_pkf4hsGJFB1v8f12l_400.jpg (44.21 KiB) Viewed 20482 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:59 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
element 1: That was sodium funny!
element 2: I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:06 pm
by Cade Okohira 4K
chemjoke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:03 pm
by 904837647
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:04 pm
by 904837647
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:08 pm
by 904837647
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:17 pm
by 904837647
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:26 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:27 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium.