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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:29 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:30 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:33 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:41 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Chemistry is really funny, there are even people who laugh at nitrogen(I) oxide.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:42 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
H20 is water and H202 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H204?

Drinking

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:42 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
How many atoms in a guacamole?

Avocado's number

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:44 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:44 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:45 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:46 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:47 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:47 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:48 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?

A KNiFe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:48 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Why are chemists great for solving problems?

They have all the solutions

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:49 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:50 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:50 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:51 pm
by Bryant Vong 2G
What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

Methylated Spirits

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:00 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:01 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Two atoms are walking down the street…
One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:03 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:06 pm
by Giselle1B
"What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?"
-"Keep telling them until you get a reaction."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:08 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:10 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:11 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:28 pm
by Giselle1B
I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:31 pm
by Giselle1B
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:45 pm
by Giselle1B
"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:51 pm
by Giselle1B
"I initially decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:27 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:28 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:34 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Organic chemistry is difficult.

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:36 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:36 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:37 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:37 pm
by AngelaZ 1J
I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:38 am
by Chem_Mod
AngelaZ 1J wrote:What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"


:-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:38 am
by Chem_Mod
Giselle1B wrote:"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'


Good one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:46 pm
by Yilun Ding
When a chemist dies, they barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:47 pm
by Yilun Ding
never trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:53 pm
by Yilun Ding
Heisenberg was caught speeding. The cops pulled him over and asked "do you know how fast you were going? " Heisenberg says "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was!" The cops were like " you were going 120 mph in 80 mph zone!" Heisenberg says " Great! Now I am lost."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:05 pm
by Jennifer Zhou 1A
This is really cute!! (More of a biology joke though

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:26 pm
by Jennifer Zhou 1A
isomers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:27 pm
by Jennifer Zhou 1A
What can you make when you have 6.022x10^23 avocados?

Guacamole, because you gotta follow Avocado’s Law.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:45 pm
by Jennifer Zhou 1A
Two chemists walk into a bar
The first chemist says I'll have some H2O. The second says I'll have some H2O too. The second one dies shortly after.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 4:30 pm
by Jeril Joseph 1B
A gold atom went to a bar, and the bartender said, "Au, get out of here."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jul 24, 2019 10:42 pm
by Jennifer Zhou 1A
Even FaceApp can't make this plastic bottle age well. Only recycling can do that.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:47 pm
by Yilun Ding
A joke about photon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:48 pm
by Yilun Ding
A joke about Helium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2019 8:34 pm
by Mitchell Koss 4G
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2019 10:34 pm
by Chetas Holagunda 3H
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?

It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:56 am
by Matt Sanruk 4F
It's so hard coming up with a good joke since all them argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2019 1:09 pm
by 405335722
I love to tell chemistry jokes!! But I only get a reaction periodically...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 3:55 pm
by 605308157
Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.
The bartender exclaims "OH SNaP!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 4:20 pm
by Cassandra_1K
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 9:15 pm
by Naren_Ramesh_4D
This chemistry joke is really cheesy because all the good chemistry jokes Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 11:04 pm
by madijohnson_4A
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:39 pm
by Liliana Aguas 3G
What kind of dogs do chemists have?



...... laboratory retrievers......

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:41 pm
by Claire Grover 3G
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:50 pm
by Jake Gallardo 3G
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make everything up

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:59 pm
by plopezcordon_4C
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf because he always got a mole-in-one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:01 pm
by plopezcordon_4C
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 12:26 am
by Amanda 3H
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 12:27 am
by Amanda 3H
What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 2:18 pm
by Kennya Ramos 1E
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:23 pm
by HannahBui 3I
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes? Keep telling them until you get a reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:12 pm
by Amina Durrani 3G
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

He He He (Helium Helium Helium)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:16 pm
by Hailey Kim 3B
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table...

... but then I realized I wasn't quite in my element.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:41 pm
by Chanel D_4E
oxygen+sodium+sodium = O Na Na whats my name...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 8:16 pm
by Keerthana Sivathasan 4G
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:49 am
by Oduwole 1H
Q: How often do chemists tell jokes?

A: Periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:05 am
by 405404782 Gabriel Rigole 4F
Q: What did the officer molecule say to the suspect atom?

A:I got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:52 am
by Brian J Cheng 1A
Friend: What's H2O?

Me: Water.

Friend: Ok, what's 100000000000000000000000000000000000H2O?

Me: IDK, a flood??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:44 pm
by Natalie Benitez 1C
Me: Do you know why I make bad jokes about chemistry?
Friend: No, why?
Me: Because, all the good one's Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:50 pm
by Natalie Benitez 1C
Thanos got jokes!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 11:44 am
by Adelpha Chan 1B
Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 11:45 am
by Adelpha Chan 1B
Are you a non volitaile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 11:56 am
by Adelpha Chan 1B
Q: How often do I tell chemistry jokes?
A: Periodically

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 8:57 pm
by Ashley Fang 3J
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
I slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:00 pm
by Ashley Fang 3J
The one true bro

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:01 pm
by Ashley Fang 3J
Yes, I am positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:01 pm
by Ashley Fang 3J
Hohoho

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 12:43 pm
by AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B
Q: What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
A: Mole-tiple choice.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:00 pm
by Kavee Dodampahala 4E
If no one laughs at your chem jokes, keep going until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:14 pm
by Yailin Romo 1B
did you know that you can cool yourself to -237.15C and still be OK?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:16 pm
by Yailin Romo 1B
What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you cant helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:18 pm
by Yailin Romo 1B
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:19 pm
by Yailin Romo 1B
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:21 pm
by Yailin Romo 1B
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state, and half in the vapor state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 12:19 am
by Matt Sanruk 4F
Iron Man is a man, but he is also FeMale

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:53 am
by Areli C 3L
Shreyesi Srivastava 2D wrote:Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

How have I never heard this one! HAHAh! :')

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:58 am
by Areli C 3L
I am Sodium Funny wrote:
Jonathan Shih 3H wrote:If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.

Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.

Have been trying to figure out the first joke for almost a year and I can't figure out lmao


Hahah it's great. So the first is telling you the formula of water and then the next is telling you what it's for... H204 (for)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:51 pm
by 705327693
The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2019 10:52 pm
by 705327693
A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:52 am
by Debora Fernandez Clemente_ 4H
Enjoy!

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.

“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:24 pm
by Chanel D_4E
Q: What two elements do sheep belt when happy?
A: BaH!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 7:27 pm
by Merin Padayatty 3G
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:17 pm
by Emil Velasco 3I
Studying chem has shown me a lot of funny jokes

He He He

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:24 pm
by Amy Xiao 1H
What element best describes me?

The element of indecision: Imnotsurium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:29 pm
by Amy Xiao 1H
My Chem teacher argued that Iron Man was a woman.

Fe-male